Ghost of guilt

It was 8:30 am on Monday morning. Sara sauntered slowly into the classroom; she hated Mondays. She dumped her bag onto her desk, her clarinet made a loud banging noise as it hit the table, which informed everyone of her arrival.

“Hey Sara!” Her friend Carla called to her in a vomit inducing cheery way.
“Is Robyn here yet?” Sara asked her.

Carla’s cheery disposition quickly disappeared. “No, she isn’t.” And with that Carla turned her back on Sara.

Sara slumped down in her chair and hid her face in her hands. She was reminded of the event that had occurred in that very room the previous Friday afternoon;

At the end of last lesson they had gone to meet each other in the form room. They argued. Robyn was the over-protective and jealous type. Robyn had accused Sara of being over-friendly with another girl in their class; a somewhat childish accusation but sometimes Robyn let her emotions get the better of her.

“Why do you always get like this?” Sara shouted.

“Get like what?”

“All jealous and stuff” Sara stated “I’m sick of it!” It was not the first time the two of them had had this argument.

“So your sick of me and your sick of our friendship, that’s what you’re saying” Robyn came back at her.

“No that’s not what I am saying”

“It’s what your implying” Robyn had a talent for making a mountain out of a mole hill.

“I have had a bad day, I don’t need this.” Sara made her way to the door.

“Go on, run off to the bitch.” Robyn raised her voice an octave “When things start getting tough, Sara runs to Carla like always.”

Sara’s anger reached bursting point, she turned to Robyn and slapped her hard across the cheek. Robyn clutched her stinging cheek, her eyes filled with tears. Sara looked at the palm of her hand, and realised what she had done. She had never even raised her hand to Robyn.

Robyn fled crying from the room, leaving Sara calling after her.

Sara had desperately needed to talk to Robyn, she had felt so guilty all weekend. Sara couldn’t bring herself to call her, she didn’t know what she could say to her to make her forgive her.

Sara was awoken from her thoughts by the loud ringing of the morning registration bell and a nudge from Carla who had taken advantage of Robyn’s absence and placed herself in her seat. The class teacher Miss Taylor entered the room.

Something was wrong; Robyn was never this late. She was always punctual. Normally she was the first person at school.

What Sara, or Carla, or any one else in the class for that matter, hadn’t noticed was, that Robyn had been there the whole time. Just sitting on the filing cabinet at the back of the room, watching Sara intently, seeing how long it would take her to notice her.

Robyn had made no effort to hide herself, yet still everyone had failed to notice her.

Miss Taylor opened the register and pushed a large pile of notices to one side. Miss Taylor called the register as she did every morning. When she called “Robyn?” A book fell from the shelf above the filing cabinet, narrowly missing Robyn’s head. It slammed down hard on the desk, landing 3cm away from Sara’s fingers.

The class fell silent, then some girls began whispering to each other.

Miss Taylor was young but sceptical. “Come on girls, it was just the wind.” She offered them feeble encouragement. She knew it wasn’t the wind, there were no windows open, although the room was strangely cold this morning.

Miss Taylor closed the register and picked up the pile of notices. She read the first notice which had URGENT written in bold red pen. She gasped and brought her hand up to her mouth.

Their was a chorus of inquisitive teenagers coming to her aid.

Miss Taylor was terribly shaken. All she managed to mutter was:

“It’s Robyn”

Robyn looked up. She hadn’t been paying attention to what had been happening. She had been far to busy putting small pieces of torn up paper in Carla’s hair and pinching her sides which made Carla jump, and then laughing when she looked around her frantically trying to work out what it was.

Miss Taylor straightened herself up, she looked down at the sea of blank faces that stared up at her waiting for her to say something.

Sara was leaning so far forward desperate for Miss Taylor to explain her last statement, that she was practically falling off her chair.

Miss Taylor looked at the filing cabinet, she was staring directly through Robyn.

“Girls,” Miss Taylor cleared her throat “I am afraid this may come as a shock to all of you”

“What?!” Sara couldn’t handle the tension any longer. Robyn was leaning like Sara; the tension getting to her too, even though Robyn knew what was coming next. “Tell us!”

“On Friday afternoon,” Miss Taylor continued “Robyn was involved in a road accident, I am afraid she’s dead.”

Sara broke down into tears. Carla attempted to comfort her but Sara pushed her away, much to Robyn’s happiness.

Robyn leant silently against the wall, watching Sara absorbedly. Sara raised her head. She could not explain it, but she had a peculiar urge to look at the filing cabinet.

Sara turned and her eyes lit up. Robyn looked back at her wondering whether or not

“You can see me?” Robyn whispered. She was not quite sure why she was whispering as no-one else could hear her anyway. Sara nodded in response, unable to find the power of speech.

Robyn looked down at her legs, she was fading. She had done what she had wanted to do, say goodbye to her best friend for the last time. Robyn smiled at Sara, and Sara smiled back. The tears on Sara’s cheeks glistened under the lights. Robyn found herself crying too.

Sara gazed at Robyn until she had completely vanished.

“What are you looking at?” Carla asked Sara as she picked the pieces of paper from her hair.

“Nothing”

“Huh?”

“Don’t worry, you wouldn’t understand.”


The End