Alone

Alone

You arrive home
from the hospital
just after dark
exhausted -
         physically
         emotionally.

His cat greets you
insisting on attention -
tripping you as you walk to the kitchen
to heat up a cup
of this morning's unfinished coffee
and read the mail.

She jumps into your lap
as you sort through
         bills
         advertisements
         an early birthday card
and you absently stroke her head.

Soothed by her purring
you close your eyes
but his pain-filled face
comes immediately into view
and your eyes snap open.

You aren't sure
         how much more
                   you can take.

The phone rings.
and you pause -
considering whether or not
to answer it
and hear more questions
and tell the same story again.

You are so lonely
         so afraid
         so alone
and yet you crave silence
         quiet
         peace
just five minutes
where you don't have to talk about
         IT.

You sigh heavily
and move the furry motor
from your lap
         she protests, of course
and reach for the phone.
You choke back a sob
take a deep breath
and force your voice to sound cheery -

         "Hello."


*****

This poem was written for my mother as she deals with the reality and shock of my father's recent hospitalization and cancer diagnosis. They've been married almost 53 years.