Hugs from Heaven

Where do you start the story of a life? The beginning, middle or end? Some how it needs to be on paper so maybe I can see the thread. My name is Cathy and I have 2 sons. Paul is now 32 and Steve was 23 when he was killed on 8-8-01. All parents love their kids to the ultimate power, but mine are special "cause their mine". Alot of times these guys saved my sanity, but also tried my nerves and patience to the utmost.


My husband Leon and I were married on 8-3-68. Being young and dumb made it easy for me to choose an alcoholic for a mate as I was stupid enough to believe "I can change him". Sure, I might have as well tried to change the sky to purple than to try to change an alcoholics idea about drinking. After 10 years of putting up with his drinking, cheating, coming home at 2 in the morning, he gave me a break and left to move in with his girlfriend. At this time Paul was 7 and Steve was 10 months old. She thought he was misunderstood (boy she believed that story and I thought I had been dumb).

Leon had met Kathy at work as they both drove buses. After our divorce was final in June of 1979, he married her on August 3, 1979. I did'nt know about his marriage until my next door neighbor called and asked if I watched Channel 7 news at 5:30. I said "No" and she proceeded to tell me Leon got married on the bus to Kathy. I called channel 7 and asked the lady that answered if they were going to run the wedding piece again at 11:00 PM. She said "No it was a filler piece, why do you want to know". I said "Well that was my ex husband that married his girlfriend and now he could think of Cathy/Kathy and August 3rd and remember all of his weddings". She was very taken aback about it and didn't know how to answer. Well some people just love attention and I guess Kathy thought she would rub it in my face that they got married.


Well for awhile things were ok between them but then she started asking questions. Did he have a close relationship with the kids? I said "No"..She complained he rode in the car with her 4 year old son and would not talk to him. I told her his history of fooling around when she asked about it. Oh yea Kathy things were not like he represented them to be. She one time told him I was a very smart woman, which I only knew cause Leon told me..If the whole situation had not been so sad it could have been laughable. They came over the first Christmas they were married and she told me Leon bought her a dress, but she did'nt wear dresses because she had fat ankles and proceeded to pull up her pant leg so I could see her fat ankles. Boy was she a real brain or what?. I sat there in my dress and just looked at him and smiled as if to say "You picked a real winner here Leon." He gave me a look of embarassment. The kids were happy to get a lot of things for Christmas, but what can you say about presents given out of guilt for what he had done by leaving them and trying to pass this woman off as their new step mother. Kathy would come over to take the kids to her house (Leon would ask her to do it) and Steve did not want to go. He was afraid of Kathy and didnt like the strange lady as he used to put it. Paul went a couple of times, but didn't really like it either.

Their marriage lasted for about 1 year. One day I was coming out of work and here was Leon sitting in his car waiting for me. He asked me to get in (just a year earlier he had threatened to beat me up if I didnt sign the income tax return check over to him) now he needed my help to find him a counselor. He asked me to find him one. Gee at one time I would have loved to hear those words. So being the Christian woman I was and after going to couseling myself to understand the alcoholics way of thinking, I could agree to it without it affecting me. I found him one and he started going. As I learned later he tried to commit suicide because she had been cheating on him with a man from a different race. She had told him he was crazy and didnt want to be married to him anymore. One day before learning all of this I had called Leon to see about getting Paul some glasses. Kathy told me he didn't live their anymore and that Leon had ruined her life.....Geese...would it be mean to laugh and tell her SHE ruined my peace of mind? I let it go...you cant explain things to an uneducated mind.


I had to leave the kids with a baby sitter while I worked and it was hard on all of us. Guess I was one of the few mothers who cryed on Labor Day because the kids were going back to school. I enjoyed having them around. One time when Steve was about 3 I took him and Paul to the grocery store on a busy Friday night. Paul had been very good at doing tv commercials in the store, entertaining the customers and Steve was getting fidgity waiting in the check out line. I had him riding in the cart and he would throw the gum or candy on the floor to see me pick it up and would start laughing. It was a great game for him, but not to funny to me. I was wearing a long black rain coat because of the weather and Steve had looked around the store looked at me and opened my coat and squeezed my chest. He started laughing at my look of shock and my hollaring "Steve". I could see many young men who had witnessed it cracking up laughing. I grabbed my coat closer to me and told him "If I didn't need these groceries I would leave right now".

Steve had been born with a large port wine birth mark on the left side of his face. It was quite large and went from the top of his ear to the bottom of his neck and from the back of his ear to 1/4 of the way on his cheek. Of course he faced a life of stares and remarks. Kids were bad enough, but when adults made comments it was painful. I used to tell him that God loved him enough to give him a big kiss on his cheek and that's why he had the birth mark. He was always into something. I think his mind went 100 miles per hour. My mom and dad live 8 houses from us and Steve used to want to go help Grandpa. One day Steve took the downspout off of the front of the house and drug it to my parents house making the neighbors look outside wondering what all the noise was. He was going to ask Grandpa if he needed a downspout. His Grandpa said "Steve where did you get this from" and Steve said "from my house Grandpa, I thought you could use this." Grandpa smiled at him patted his head and said "Thanks Steve but I think you should take that home and put it back on your house". Well he always was looking to help someone. One day we went to a neighborhood store and some strange man came in the store and saw Steve and said "Hi Steve". Steve said hi. I asked Steve who that was and how he knew him. "Oh thats the new neighbor who moved in last week I went and helped him to move in". Not to many strangers in the world when Steve was around. He was about 3 1/2 when he had his first car accident. My sister Sue and I were working out in my living room. Steve was outside with his friends and his brother Paul. Paul came running in to tell us Steve got in Sue's car, put it in neutral and rolled it down the driveway into the neighbors car across the street. Luckly no one was hurt and there wasnt any property damage. I had to have Steve sit on the couch while I smoked a couple of cigarettes before I could handle the situation. I was afraid I was going to spank his little bottom off if I didn't calm down first. I used to make the kids sit on the couch for 15 minutes for a punishment which they hated. I think Steve sat on the couch for 1 hour that day.

It seemed that Paul and Steve were very intuitive and it started when they were young. It seems to run in the family, but mostly it comes thru in dreams. Steve was good with summing up people with a few words when he was little. It espescially came in handy when I was dating someone. Steve could tell me what they were really like. One man I went out with for about 6 months he called "Mr. jypt". He did turn out to be someone who was cheap. I can understand not having money and being conservative, but this guy was stingy. One guy was "Mr. Goof". He turned out to be not serious about a relationship and just wanted to have fun. Yeah Steve had them all nailed. When Steve was real little (about 2 1/2) he came out of his room one day and told me he had done something before he had been killed in Vietnam. I looked at him and asked what he did he said "never mind" and would not talk to me. His dad was in Vietnam, but I dont think he heard much about it. When Steve was 15 a friend of mine came over with his 2 yr old son to visit. The little boy looked at Steve and said "that boy was shot in the head". Steve later worked for "Vietnam Vets" fixing cars for them. I never believed in reincarnation, but it all seems to be connected...something to ponder to be continued............