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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/585528-Got-Milk
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by Dave Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E · Monologue · Experience · #585528
So you want to milk a cow?
Got Milk?

I came here to live on this ranch as a young adult so I don’t have a child’s- eye-view of life here. I have a more realistic memory of ranch activities as I was learning. Over the years there has been one aspect that has demanded more time than people might realize. That would be the pain and pleasure of milk cows.

As kids, my siblings and I would come here on summer vacations. Riding the horses out to the pasture to get the milk cows in for the evening milking was one of the chores we looked forward to. The gate was nearly a mile away but often the cows could be much further away as the pasture was 320 acres. That was never a problem for kids that would use any excuse to be on a horse. Our job would be done when the cows were in. We didn’t do the milking. That job was left up to our aunt. She usually didn’t get back to the house with the milk until after dark. The California kids would still be in bed when she would be taking the cows out in the morning.

I got my reality check when I came here to stay, nearly 30 years ago. No matter what else happens during the day, the cows get milked morning and evening. As for the milking, the twice a day ritual varied little. After feed was put in the manger, the cows are let in the barn, one or two at a time. They had learned their proper places long before. Their heads are fastened in the stanchions so that they can’t back out prematurely. Next, a chain with ends shaped to fit on the back of a cow’s legs, was put on. The chains don’t prevent a cow from kicking if she wants to, but they do help keep her still. Once the udder is cleaned of any loose dirt, or anything else she happens to have laid down on, she's finally ready to be milked.

People that have seen milk stools have a picture in their mind of a three-legged stool. That is not the case here. Imagine instead, a simple tee made of two pieces of wood. The bottom leg of the tee rests on the ground and you sit on the flat top. Perched atop this stool the right leg is stretched out under the cow and the left leg doubled beck. This makes the stool three-legged, two are yours. Then to complicate this bit of choreography, a twelve-quart bucket must be held between your knees to catch the milk.

Now then, all is finally ready. The cow is happily eating and all that’s left is to milk the cow as quickly as possible. Quickly, because a cow doesn’t have all the patience in the world. If you dawdle too long some unpleasant things can start to happen. If, for instance, the bucket starts to get a little too heavy to hold up and you set it down. It then becomes a fair target for the cow to kick it over. Also, about that same time, the cow might think it fun to perform one or more of her bodily functions. If that isn’t enough, your kind words throughout the proceedings probably aren’t helping matters much and all she wants to do is get away. Invariably, her tail, which you may or may not have tucked in under the chain, is now loose and becomes a sodden, fly or people swatter. Hopefully you are still able to save the milk or at least part of it. On to the next cow. Are we having fun yet?

Following in the footsteps of tradition, the milk is used for many things. Before it ever leaves the barn some of it gets used to feed calves being raised on the bucket. The cows have a calf every year. Since the young ones could never keep up with the volume of milk, they are rationed and fed on a bucket. The remaining milk that isn’t used at the house helps to raise a couple hogs. Once at the house, the milk is put through a machine called a separator that removes the heavier cream. Although not so much anymore,in years past a lot of the cream was used to provide the yearly supply of butter. In the months of June and July when the feed was the best for milk production the butter would be made. First the cream was churned,then washed, salted and packed into containers, before being frozen. As a rule between fifty and sixty pounds was made a year.

The last couple years I haven’t had to milk a cow on a regular basis. The only time I milk one is if I have to help a calf out during calving season. At times I miss the twice-daily ritual, but not enough to start over again. Although it is an acquired thing, I truly do miss the taste of homemade butter on toast, vegetables or even popcorn. There is no substitute for heavy, sweet cream in hot cereal on a cold morning.

This isn’t the life I was born into; it is the one I grew into. Milking cows is just one aspect of a lifestyle that few people today have the opportunity or desire to experience. I’m glad that I did.
© Copyright 2002 Dave (rancher at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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