Call a pool company might get hiring summer lifeguards |
"Good afternoon, Wet Dreams pool management. May I help you?" "Yeah, like I'm calling about your ad in the paper for a lifeguard." a very young female voice replied "Well yes, we are hiring lifeguards for the summer." "Cool! I'm like a totally good swimmer and I look totally hot in a two piece." The young girl says. "AH, well do you have any experience?" I ask. "Well I'm a totally good swimmer and my mom always makes me watch the kids in the pool." "I mean have you ever lifeguarded before?" "Totally, I just told you." "Ah, have you ever been a lifeguard for anyone besides your mom?" I ask, looking around for the Advil. "Oh sure, like my aunt and my neighbor totally let their kids swim while I babysit. I totally watch them, it's really cool." Giving up on this line of questioning I decide on another. "What makes you want to become a lifeguard?" I ask. "Well you get a totally great tan." "Is that the only reason you want to be a lifeguard?" I say shocked. "OH NO, no way." "AH" good I'm thinking "What else makes you want to be a lifeguard?" "Well all the totally fine guys are always at the pool." she replies with a giggle. "So you just want to get a tan and meet cute guys all summer?" I say as I rub my temples. "Totally." "I don't think we are hiring anymore lifeguards right now but can I interest you in a summer pass to the pool nearest you?" "But like, I don't get paid if I'm not working there." she says. "No, no you wouldn't get paid just to lay out all summer." "Right, so that's why I want to be a lifeguard." she says. "I'm sorry, I just don't have any openings right now. Maybe if you call next summer." "But like next summer I'll be a senior and all my friends will be at the beach so I can't work then. I have to be available, it's my last year with them." Thinking quickly I say "Well if you start this summer you will have two full summers instead of one to do all you want to do before you are out of school." "Cool! I like totally didn't think of that. I have to go, I have to call Missy!" she replies excitedly. "Thank you for calling Wet Dreams pool management. CLICK RING....RING....RING "You have reached Wet Dreams pool management. If you only want to become a lifeguard to sit by the pool and get a great tan or like just meet a cute guy or girl we have no positions available. If you <CLICK> RING....RING....RING "You have reached Wet Dreams pool management. If you only want to become a lifeguard to sit by the pool and get a great tan or like just meet a cute guy or girl we have no positions avail <CLICK> RING....RING....RING "You have reached Wet Dreams pool management. I hope you all DROWN!!!! CLICK "I QUIT!!!" |