Whales Are Beautiful

I dove into the blue water of the pool. The water cooled my ruddy face and body. The smell of chlorine had become my friend. My shiny brown hair flowed freely. No ponytail today. Taking a deep breath and heading towards the bottom of the pool I felt my heart racing still. The water usually calmed me but today, it was having a tough time doing so.

Some people go whale watching did you know that? They find that the whale is a beautiful creature and yet, when I walk down the street, the people don’t give me the same look. You know,the look of acceptance. Of beauty. They give me a look of hate, loathing and even disgust. They try to pretend they didn’t notice me. That I don’t exist. But I see there stares before they turn away as if by looking at me and giving me a smile, they’ll catch what I have. Still, I have nothing to catch. You cant’catch fat.

The water feels so good against my skin. I feel buoyant and free.

I can’t help it that I weigh what I do. Life is tough enough on all of us at one point or another. Sometimes life is tougher than it is easy. Who are you to criticize the way that I look?
I keep swimming.... Like a whale.

I feel feather light in the water. It calms me so.
Everyone has problems do they not? Some have money troubles, while still others have lonely hearts.
What about these people who marry six or seven times? We never say anything negative to these people. Do we shake our heads when they announce yet another engagement? No. Only to the fat!
I can still feel my blood boiling from lunch. The laughter under their breath as I walked or should I say waddled by their table while trying to find a table fit for my girth. It’s hard not to cry while you eat alone. But you get used to that. Eating alone I mean. Then the crying stops. At least in public....

God how I’d like to know what skinny really feels like. I have tried all the diets don’t these people know that? Do they not realize how hard it is to be me? They say ignorance is bliss. I am not ignorant like these people are though. One day I’m going to have to ask them how that feels. To be an ignorant person.

I mean, if they can call me fat why can I not return the favor by calling them names? I am not that kind of person. The kind that lives to hate and feeds off of other people’s misery.
The water has finally calmed me and I feel free. Back and forth in the pool. Not even counting the laps made today. I just feel so beautiful in the water. So skinny. So thin.

Everyone has money problems at one point in their life. How would they like me to walk up and ask them for money and when they say No for me to say "Why are you THAT poor you can’t spare a dime? Are you THAT poor? How would that make them feel? Angry, resentful. Or, would it get the message to them not to judge a book by it’s cover.

Inside, I’m quite beautiful. I like to dance, read and sing in the shower. I love movies and art galleries and Italian Operas.
What do they like?
Making fun of fat people.
I’m beautiful. Like a whale. Look at me that way. Please.