I had traveled alone, walking aimlessly among the hills. by day in the shadow, by night in the wind. Creatures of the dark tore at my flesh while I slumbered upon cold and mossy rocks, afraid. I wore no clothes, exposing my skin, like rose petals in the icy wind; dirt, worms, and weeds are all that nourish me, turning my stomach, boiling inside of me like a swamp’s fermented waters. I thirsted and cried my tears I spurned into callous laughter; mockingly I sighed. “I am stronger than this!" I shouted. “These trials will never conquer my pride!” I smiled, and rolled in the riverbed, muddy. Weeks passed, years; my eyes burned, those reluctant tears never washing the soil from my face; I toiled on, in darkness, fueled by anger and lust, before coming to rest at last, weary. My head floated high above my body; Not knowing where I was, the light of the sun, so long just a dream, blinded me; I cursed the invading warmth. “Leave me!” I cried. Too cold for much too long. But still the sun warmed, and I stood prone against its light; weak, I fell, on my face, crying into the soil that was the only home I knew; drifting into sleep, I whispered, “Death, come for me.” At once my pain lifted from my veins, my bones were healed, no more brittleness and rust; precious breath filled my soul, in a blaze I leapt into a dream whose peace I had never known. Standing atop a mountain, I peered into the safety of the valley below; there I saw them laughing. they were not hungry, not worried or afraid, they smelled of wild flowers and honey, clean. Their peace called to me, like whispers. “You are not alone." I felt a song, its melody floating like heat, silent. It sang of a lost brother, dying in the wilderness, crying, alone. Closing my eyes, I took one step, where no ground met my feet; Their song, like a memory, echoed in my ears. With faith I fell, into their breath. “Take me,” I pleaded. Just then I woke, shivering in the warmth of the rising sun, a slow breeze rolling over my body. My skin glistened in the purity of morning dew, The song now just a fleeting thought. Two leaves danced at my feet, I touched the mossy rocks and tried to speak the words pulsing on my tongue, "You knew me first," I breathed. No longer alone, I cried with eyes, now seeing for the first time. |