Mind Over Matter

I believe in mind over matter.
I lie on a mattress of anxieties,
sharp as needles-
meditating on my resolve
to keep them from piercing my flesh.

Yet oh the times, as I lie on this bed,
that I dream of releasing, letting
sharp silver slip into me
like silk through fingers-
the agony exquisite,
weakness flowing like blood.

I believe in mind over matter.
I walk a smoldering path
of frustration and anger (self-directed),
my feet kept cool by the constant
fight to ignore the heat.

Yet oh the times, as I place one foot
carefully in front of the other,
that I long to let them sink past
the gray ash layer into the
white hot burn-
so that I may shriek my fury.

I believe in mind over matter.
I drift in a chamber of stagnant water,
holding my breath for
better things to come.

Yet oh the times, as I wait for air,
that I ache to let my lungs collapse,
let the salt of despair sting-
and allow myself to
drown in a deluge of pity.