Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress

Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress

I always imagined myself a long cool woman at 5' 10', and my husband of short term, he was my 6' 8" undercover man.

Copy and paste this to get to the download of the Hollies recording--requires Quicktime

<b><a
href="http://www.AuthorsDen.com/adstorage/14428/01 - Patrice Lauren - Long Cool Woman(1).mp3">Click here</a></b>, to download 01 - Patrice Lauren - Long Cool Woman(1).mp3</b>

Long Cool Woman
(by Roger Greenway, Harold Clark & Roger Cook)
Recorded by the Hollies

Saturday night I was downtown,
Workin' for the FBI
Sittin' in a nest of bad men,
Whiskey bottles pilin' high.
A bootleggin' boozer on the west side,
Full of people who were doin' wrong
A just about to call the DA-man,
When I heard this woman singin' a song.
A pair of 45's made me open my eyes,
My temperature started to rise

She was a long cool woman in a black dress,
Just a 5 - 9 beautiful tall
With just one look I was a bad mess,
Cause that long cool woman had it all.

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night ay yeah
I saw her head up to the table
Just a tall walkin' big black cat
A Charlie said, "I hope that you're able boy."
Cause I'm tellin' you she knows where it's at.
Well suddenly we heard the sirens,
And everybody started to run.
Jumpin' outta doors and tables,
Well I heard someone shootin' a gun.
Well the DA was pumpin' my left hand,
And she was a-holdin' my right.
I told her don't be scared, y'gonna be spared,
Well I gotta be forgivin'
If I wanna spend my livin' with

chorus

Missy was fine, she blew my mind,
I think about that woman all the time,
She was a long cool woman in a black dress...



They call it "tying the knot."
For us it proved
A knot of exacerbation.

An entwinement of bitter resentment.
That's how I think of marriage, now.
But, there was a time when love
Meant taking a solid vow.

I never tried it again.
I left behind some Catholic sins.
I'm still a single female, older,
With pets, but no children.

Remember, how we met,
That whirlwind of instant passion.
How love knocked me off my saddle fast,
How I fell in love to last,
While being of marriage age, and in fashion.

That weekend of the Houston Live Stock Show.
It became our special rodeo.

Remember how I wanted to play
Cowboys and Indians,
Our own private games,
Just like Jesse James.


I listen to Cher's Very Best CD,
This evening, like a soundtrack
Of our emotional past together, and hence.

Just Like Jesse James
(composed by Child/Warren)

You're struttin' into town
Like you're slingin' a gun.
Just a small town dude
With a big city attitude.

Honey, are you lookin' for some trouble tonight?
Well, alright.

You think you're so bad,
Drive the women folk wild.
Shoot'em all down
With the flash of your pearly smile.

Honey, but you met your match tonight.
Oh, that's right.

You can knock me off my feet till I'm begging for more
xxxxxxx.....

You're an outlaw lover,
And I'm after your hide.
Well, you ain't so strong.
Won't be long
'Til your hands are tied.

Tonight, I'm gonna take you in
Dead or alive.
That's right.

You break the laws of love
In the name of desire.
Take ten steps back
'Cause I'm ready, Baby: aim, and fire.

Baby there's nowhere
You're gonna run tonight.
Ooh, that's right.

Well, you had your way with love,
But, it's the end of the day.
Now, a team of wild horses
Couldn't drag your heart away.

So come on, baby, come on, baby,
Come on, baby, you know
There ain't nothing left to say.

If you can give it,
I can take it.
'Cause if this heart is gonna break
It's gonna take a lot to break it.

I know, tonight,
Somebody's gonna win the fight.
So if you're so tough,
Go on and prove it.
Your heart is down for the count,
And you know you're gonna lose it.

Tonight. you're gonna down in flames
Just like Jesse James!

You think you'll knock me off my feet
'Til I'm flat on the floor.
'Til my heart is cryin' Indian,
And I'm beggin' for more.
So come on baby, come on baby,
Come on baby, come on!

If you can give it,
I can take it.
'Cause if this heart is gonna break
It's gonna take a lot to break it.

I know, tonight,
Somebody's gonna win the fight.
So if you're so tough,
Go on and prove it.

Your heart is down for the count,
And you know you're gonna lose it.
Tonight, you're gonna go down in flames,
Just like Jesse James.

Tonight you're gonna go down in flames,
Just like Jesse James.
I'm goona shoot you down Jesse James.
I'm gonna shoot you down Jesse James.

I roped you in.
You roped me too.
Before the school year could begin,
We became one from two,
Miss became Mrs.
When I wed you.

We had a backyard garden wedding
In the summer of '79.
The champagne flowed all that afternoon.
One, and all, had a good time.


The caterer's cakes were cut and consumed,
Vanilla and chocolate represented.
Champagne glass toasts, arms entwined,
Garter tossed, flowers thrown,
But returned upon request.
Rice rained from the sky,
As I carried your straw cowboy hat,
To our chariot of dreams,
Dodge Monaco, '66 version, turquoise green.
Shoe polish painted ot our love, never to be lost.

Never to be lost,
I still have the pictures to prove it.

In reality, it was a rough one,
the trip of our relationship:

         planned the wedding in a week,

         thunder reverberated when the judge asked "if anyone has any reason that this man and this woman not be joined . . ." 
(and my maid of honor and I laughed--nobody else caught it),

         and my friends followed us to our Clear Lake honeymoon hotel room, and somehow entered with a key and champagne, and they wouldn't go away,

         and we drove back to your house, almost 4:00 am by now, exhausted, and found your friends had totally draped then entire outside, and inside, of the house with toilet paper, and like a haunted house on Halloween we clawed our way in,

         and we finally fell into
                   your "Lay Lady Lay" brass bed,

         until, just after daybreak, the phone rang, and your daughter wanted to come home to Daddy,

         and lightening stuck the house while you were gone, and cut off the electricity, and water pump,

         and I discovered the reason I felt like crap was that I had the flu, with a temp of 102.

After the first 48 hours of marriage, I thought if we could make it through all we had been through, we could make it through anything.

We grew together.
We tried together.
And being in love with each other, conquered all problems.

Cher's CD continues to play. . .

I Got You Babe
Written and produced by Sonny Bono
(live stage version)

They say we're young and we don't know.
We won't find out until we're grown.
Well I don't know if all that's true,
'Cause you got me, and baby I got you,

Babe, I got you Babe

They say our love won't pay the rent
Before it's earned, our money's all been spent

(Damned Income taxes)
I guess that's so, we don't have a pot
But at least I'm sure of all the things we got

Babe, I got you Babe

I've got flowers in the spring
I've got you to wear my ring
And when I'm sad, you're a clown
And if I get scared, you're always around

So let them say your hair's too long
'Cause I don't care, with you I can't go wrong
So put your little hand in mine
There ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb

Babe, I got you, Babe.

I got you to walk with me.
I got you to talk with me.

I got you to hold my hand.
I got you to understand
xxxxxxxxx.......
I got you to kiss goodnight.
I got you to hold me tight.
I got you, I won't let go.
I got you to love me so.

Babe, I got you Babe.

But it wasn't like a song, for us,
Not for very long.

Twenty-three years hence,
You've taken another wife,
We both have
A different kind of life.

Now, you call me up,
In town on business,
I meet you just to talk.
We greet with a hug
That fires my ashen senses.

Maybe I'll be looking
For some trouble tonight,
But is it right?

I feel the fire of insane in my brain,
Provoking both love and familiar pain.

Heart of Stone
Produced by Peter Asher

Beneath the white fire of the moon
Love's wings are broken all too soon
(Moon shining full on us, on the balcony)
We never learn, hurt together,
hurt alone.
Don't you sometimes wish your heart
Was a heart of stone.

We turn the wheel, and break the chain.
Put steel to steel, and laughed at pain.
We're dreamers in castles made of sand.
The road to Eden's overgrown.
Don't you sometimes wish
Your heart was made of stone.

I remember being an "us."

I remember,
From such a long time ago. 
I have nurtured our wedded weeks,
In my mind.
The memories amassed,
Really quite a blast,
Groovy, far out, and fine,
Mostly.
Then, mostly less.

The friends and family of each
Became partly yours, and partly mine.

(Or was that after the divorce?)

"To love, honor, and cherish. . .
Till death we both do part,"
When I said those words to you,
I meant them with all my heart.

And you've said them, since then,
to another, my friend.


Cher sings what I'm feeling . . .

Look at the headlines
(I've been with the)
Big crowd at the crazy house.
Long queue for the joker's shoes.
Ten rounds in the ring with love.
Do you lose and win or win and lose?

Sweet rain, like mercy in the night.
(Lay me down, wash away the sorrow)
Caress my soul and set it right.
(Lay me down, show me your tomorrow)
Summer's tears,
Winter and the moment's flown.

Don't you sometimes wish
Your heart was made of stone?
Mercy, mercy, wish your heart
Was a heart of stone!

Get the picture
No (hotel)room for the innocent.
Peak season in lonely town.
Knocked out of the ring by love.
Are you down and up or up and down?

I asked the river for a sign.
(In a dream we go on together.)
How long is love supposed to shine?
{In a dream diamonds are forever.)

But you and I,
We hurt together,
Hurt alone.

Mercy, mercy wish your heart
Was a heart of stone.
(With a heart of stone, you'll be well protected)
Don't you sometimes wish
Your heart was made of stone?
(With a heart of stone, you'll be well connected)

Twenty-four years ago,
We two made quite a pair,
It worked for awhile,
And, then, I wasn't there.

When I called you "Husband,"
And you called called me "Wife,"
Most of those fifty weeks,
I had a happy life,
Because I shared it with you,
And you shared it with me.
I was no longer alone.
I was a part of "We."

But now, you see,
It's different for me.

The way the years have come to pass
I wouldn't know love
If it bit me on the ass.
Instead I've gotten drunk,
Or smoked a little grass.
Perhaps my opportunity
For finding love has passed.

If I'm at a bar,
and a guy makes a pass,
While I'm out on my own,
Drinking from a glass,
Actions depend more on consumption
Of the evening's alcohol,
Than it does on the "gentleman's" class.

Each unfamiliar facial line,
Or gray hair that you think you see,
Emanated from another broken-hearted fee,
Earned from the way
Things just had to be.

I've lost a big part
Of my big dreams of what was to be,
Of how my idealism
Would have changed the world we see.

I've been alone
For such a long time.
But I can still remember
When you were mine.

As we simply talk,
As you still make me laugh,
In a quiet restaurant
I feel a warming in my frozen heart,
And I wish it could last.

I remember how much I did care for you,
And how well you handled my wrath.{{/c}


And Cher sings in the background . . .

If I Could Turn Back Time
If I could find a way,
I'd take back all those words,
That had hurt you, and I'd stay.

I don't know why I did the things I did.
I don't know why I said the things I said.
Pride's like a knife, it can cut deep inside.
Words are like weapons, they wound sometimes.

I didn't really mean to hurt you.
I didn't really want to go.
I know I made you cray
If I could turn back time,




If I could reach the stars,
I'd give them all to you.
Then you'd love me, love me,
Like you used to do.
If I could turn back time.

My world was shattered, I was torn apart,
Like someone took a knife and drove it deep in my heart.
When I walked out that door I swore that I didn't care,
But I lost everything darling then and there.


If I could turn back time

If I could reach the stars
I'd give them all to you

Then you'd love me like you used to do





Too strong to tell you I was sorry.
Too proud to tell you I was wrong.
I know that I was blind, and darling

If I could turn back time . . .

I confess, now, in my life,
That fiery passion of love
Has turned to frigid flair.
She's died, that wedded love dove.
She died then, and there,
At our last courtroom date.


In the face,
That you think you recognize,
Time's turned me to a panther,
Stalking the kill to survive,
Or merely at home guarding her lair,
Separated from those who don't care.
Then you call
In town tonight.
Your call brings me here from there.

After White and Black Russians
In a no smoking bar,
Time fades in your face.
I don't see my scar.
Everything feels almost rightly familiar.
We're both away from home place.
We've got time, but not emotional space.


Love's passions lurk dark at the surface.
Turning bitter, harsh, and frigid.
My heart doesn't have to break again.
I've learned to how to be rigid.

I won't let myself care.
I won't make myself care.
I've been hurt too many times,
Grown cynical with practice.
So now, I don't dare.
That's what comes
Of knowing love only in despair.

I swear, I'm cold and heartless,
But a survivalist I must be.
I know passion only as a drunk.
I share the soul of my body
Only with me.

I'm by no means a prude.
Nor, am I a whore.
But, in the years that have come to pass,
I've just decided that it's worth wanting more
Than what I generally find
When I walk out my front door.

I never yet
Became Juliet,
Strolling moonlit
On her balcony.
Romeo doesn't live
Anywhere I can see.

The only chivalrous knight I know
Sometimes shows up on my color TV.
Romanticism, and flowers,
Don't seem to ever find me.
So, I've turned to stoic stock.

I've grown tired of looking
For the "Prince Charming" man.
I settle for "whatever"
Whenever I give a damn,
Or don't.

The passionate lover,
You wed at 22,
Has become someone else,
Often broke, broken, and blue.

Hearing your voice,
And slip, not being wise.
I close my eyes,
I wrap my arms around you.
I feel those old feelings rise. . .
And I could turn back time, too.

So, if I close my eyes real tight,
And breathe past this apprehension,
Adjust my mind enough,
To get past the point of tension,

I could turn back time.
And I could find a way,
To show how much I loved you,
So many times since yesterday.

Instead of being in my head's fantasy,
You would play your own part.
Under the white shimmer
Of this bright summer moon,
You might help me recover, soon,
What's left of my shattered heart.

If just for one night,
I could find a way
To remember our love
From another place, another day,
Then somehow have it blessed
By the good Lord above,
I would turn back time
And I'd give you all my love,
With no guilt or regrets.

After passion quelled,
We'd smoke a cigarette.
But it wouldn't be a one night stand
With someone I'd just met.

We could spoon into dreams
Bankrupt of emotional debt.
You'd be my "Jesse James,"
I'd be your loving pet.
I'd seize all of the passion,
All the sensuality,
That you'd let me get.


Then the jukebox in my head
   hears Cher sing again.

All I Really Want To Do,
Is, Baby, Be Friends With You
(written by Bob Dylan, produced by Sonny Bono)

All I Really Want To Do


Now I ain't lookin'
To compete with you,
Beat on, cheat on, mistreat you,
Simplify you, classify you,
Deny, defy, mystify you.


All I really want to do
Is baby, be friends with you.
Baby, be friends with you.


Now I ain't lookin'
To fight with you,
Frighten you, or uptighten you,
Drag you down, or drain you down,
Chain you down, or bring you down.


All Really want to do
Is Baby, be friends with you.
Baby, be friends with you.


I ain't lookin'
To block you up,
Dock, or rock, or lock you up,
Analyze you, categorize you,
Finalize, or advertise you.

All I really want to do
Is Baby, be friends with you.
Is Baby, be friends with you.

I don't want to straight-face you,
Race, or chase, or track, or trace you,
Or disgrace you, or displace you,
Or define you, or confine you.


All I really want to do
Is baby, be friends with you.
Baby, be friends with you.

Now I don't want to meet your kin,
Make you spin, or do you in,
Or select you, or dissect you,
Or inspect you, or reject you.

All I really want to do
Is Baby, be friends with you
Baby be friends with you

The night's far gone.
The moon's traveled beyond
The dark sky once more.

Only young lovers sin.
Maybe, someday,
I'll feel young again.

In the meantime I'll leave
Your life and hotel room intact,
I'll wish you a safe journey home,
And better times with your wife in the sack.



Note:  I have changed some of the pronouns from the original lyrics.

I obtained the lyrics at www.lyrics.com, and
www.Cherworld.com.

Copyright permission from lyrics pending.

I highly recommend the CD, The Very Best of Cher.

If you would like to listen to the MP3 of this, drop me an e-mail and I'll send the file to you--it's rather large.  Thinking about publishing this on Lulu.com--once I get copyright permission from Cher, et al.