Bill and Dave the Refrigerator Repairmen

Bill and Dave, not your average superheroes, but one must take all the help one can get in a situation like this. Bill, the brains, along with his senseless sidekick Dave, the uh… simple minded fool (i.e. the idiot), are battling strange and evil forces gone amuck in the great wilderness that is the Peppermill!
One Sunday morning, Bill and Dave were dressed in matching attire, reading the paper. Bill had carefully picked each item making sure that it would reflect his intelligence, and Dave, slapped together whatever his tiny brain could think of (which so happened to be the exact outfit Bill was wearing, no they weren’t both in the same exact outfit, just replicas). Bill carefully “examined”, yes examined always examined never looked at, the stocks following his investment in SPAM seeing that it had risen another four and a half points, while Dave looked at the comics upside down. Bill was ever so slightly crinkling the paper out of annoyance since Dave continually bothered him every three seconds.
“Dave… Da Duh Duve!!” shouted Dave at Bill again for what seemed to be the three-hundredth and ninety-second time.
“We’ve been over this again and again and again Dave, I’m Bill you’re Dave.” Replied a very exasperated Bill, “What can you possibly need now?!?!”
“What do the say?” asked Dave pointing to a thought bubble above Garfield’s head.
“THE SAME THING IT SAID THREE SECONDS AGO!” shouted Bill as he tore out of the room and into the kitchen.
“Oh,” said Dave as he got up to follow Bill. When he got into the kitchen, the refrigerator began to turn colors, first a neon green then a purple then both purple and neon green, in fact it looked quite much like Katherine’s room, then finally a screen appeared on the refrigerator and upon it was an old gnarled face with black and yellow striped hair and a gaudy nose ring in his nose.
“Bill, Dave! Come in, there is a crisis at the Peppermill! Millions of people are at danger, this is the moment you’ve all been waiting for, the big moment, your fifteen minutes of fame, your window of opportunity!” yelled the voice.
“You’re being melodramatic again.” Said the still cheesed off Bill.
“Oh so what if I am?” asked the voice. “Either way, people’s lives are still in danger and it is up to you to battle the Big Cheese!”
“YES!” shouted a keyed up Dave.
“Dave,” said Bill shaking his head, “that’s not a good thing!”
“Oh,” replied Dave beginning to tremble and sob uncontrollably, “NOOOO WHY US… WHY!!”
“Dave it isn’t that bad.”
“Oh,” said Dave stopping his sobs and tremors. He looked at Bill wondering how to react to such news. Should he stare off in space? Look dreamily out the window? Frown with sadness? Pout with anger? Not that he knew how to do any of these except to stare off in space. He looked at Bill (or Dave as Dave thought he was), yes he would know the answer.
“Go like this,” said Bill (or should I call him Dave?), putting his hands over his mouth and giving a little gasp. Dave (would he be Bill now?) did the same. Then he looked up appreciatively at Bill/Dave although it looked as if he were starring off into space.
“What exactly is the problem?” Bill/Dave asked the screen uncertainly.
“The main refrigerator is broken at the Peppermill and-”
“So the pepper won’t stay cold and then it won’t make the workers sneeze in order to blah blah blah (no one was listening any further than that, Dave/Bill hadn’t listened to any of that and had actually been dreaming of cheese although couldn’t figure out why, and the man or what ever it was had dozed off after that.)” said Bill/Dave very sure of himself, the man and Dave/Bill noticed he had stopped talking and snapped back to attention, well partially back to attention.
“Uh yeah that’s right. So you’ll need to-” again the thing was interrupted by Bill/Dave.
“We are already on our way” said Bill/Dave grabbing Dave/Bill and jumping into the refrigerator, yes they did open it first, and then jumped out again dressed in refrigerator repairmen uniforms, partially dressed in Dave/Bill’s part. Bill (I’m just going to refer to their original names now because it’s getting quite confusing!) took one look at Dave rolled his eyes and pushed him back in the refrigerator. This time Dave came out fully dressed but everything was on backwards.
“Close as we’re gonna’ get,” said Bill grinning from exhilaration, his awful attitude gone.