Inside Me

I put on a facade, for all around to see.
They don't see the feelings deep inside of me.
The hair, makeup, smiles, & laughter is all fake. You can't see all the pain,hurt, sadness, & anger I have. All bottled up inside, waiting to be released. Instead of dealing with it like I should, I drown it with alcohol & pills. Vodka, beer, Jack Daniels,Jim Beam, & anything else within reach. They take me to another world, away from all the problems. Everything is wonderful as long as I don't have to face the cruel realities of the world. I'm always trying to please mom and dad. If they only knew of the other things I did. The guys, the kissing, and the sex. They'd hate me forever and never think to forgive me. So here I am, having to play the part of the happy, striving to do good teenager. But the truth behind it is, I hate my life, all except that other world I go to in order to escape. I turned away from a guy who cared, just so he'd never see all the things buried inside. But in the end, the alcohol and pills wear off, and when you come back down to Earth it's all still there, all the problems of life staring you in the face. So I go home wash off all my makeup, & smiles & laughter that are put on with it, all of it...fake. Then all can do is lay on my bed & cry. Wishing that I would die. No one can see inside me.