Tell Me On A Sunday Please

Disclaimer: I don’t own the Hardy’s, never have, never will and I wouldn’t presume to put words in their mouths, this is and always shall be completely from my imagination with no harm or copyright infringement intended.

Okay, don’t know why I felt the need to write this but it’s been knocking around in my head for awhile. The song is from Andrew Lloyd Webber (I don’t own it either) and it’s one of my favorites so don’t be surprised if I use it again in another story. Basically these are just Matt’s stream of consciousness thoughts as they relate to Jeff.


Tell Me On A Sunday Please


It’s not as if I could claim to be surprised.

Or at least I shouldn’t be. I know I shouldn’t be. But I still feel like I’ve been blindsided.

Jim called me only about 25 minutes ago and I’m driving now, a good 20 miles over the speed limit rushing down to the office. But I don’t think I’ll make it in time because I think its already too late. I think its been too late for awhile now.

Don’t write a letter when you want to leave
Don’t call me at 3 AM from a friends apartment

I could tell by JR’s voice that it was serious this time. What were his exact words: “I think the kids made up his heart.”

I’d like to choose how I hear the news.

Made up his heart, that’s what he’d said. Not your mind, but your heart. My first reaction was to be hurt. Because if that was true you’d written me off, written me out. And didn’t I deserve a little more than that? After all we’ve been through, everything we’d shared.

Take me to a park that’s covered in trees
Tell me on a Sunday please.

If you’d made up your heart, since when did your heart not include me?

Then I remembered that must have been the way you felt all those months ago. When they first brought up the idea of splitting us up. I told you I thought it would be good for both of us... but I was lying. I’d never lied to you before, (I loved you too much) not in all our lives and I suppose that’s why you knew immediately. I never had the balls to ask you why you never said anything, never protested.

I convinced myself that we could still be together without actually being together. You’d survive out there without me. You were always the strong one anyways. I told myself we were growing instead of betraying the dream. Besides, nothing’s permanent, in all likelihood this was temporary. But if I’d known it would drive you to something like this...

Let me down easy
No big song and dance

I’m 10 minutes away from the office now and I’m thinking that I could have done something. I saw you were unhappy, even though it was subtle at first. But hey that was you, I mean I chocked it up to separation anxiety.

No long faces
No long looks
No deep conversations

But drugs? I tell you the first time I heard someone dare to spit that rumor out of their mouths I almost killed them, right there on the spot. You would never do something like that, it was just locker room gossip, whispered garbage. But then the whispers got louder and more difficult to ignore and I had to accept the truth. We started spending less and less time together and you ...you never smiled anymore. I can’t describe to you how much I missed your smile.
I kept saying tomorrow I’ll talk to him. Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow as Shakespeare said. But tomorrow never came and I just never took the time.

I know the way we should spend that day
Take me to a zoo that's got chimpanzees

This was a family matter and I had always intended to handle it, but something was always getting in the way. I was leaving my little brother behind and I was too wrapped up in myself to care. I just thought there’d be time.

Tell me on a Sunday please

Of course soon it began to affect your work and I saw you become something you’d never been before. Sloppy. You started missing spots and signature moves. Worse yet you were careless and for the first time since we were kids I actually feared for your safety in the ring. By then it had become a company matter and I started getting calls from the brass, finally culminating with JR and then Vince himself.

Don’t want to know who’s to blame
It won’t help knowing

I’m 5 minutes away now and I’ll be pulling into the lot any moment now. What was it they’d said to me?

“Matt help him out...get his head straight. He doesn’t know what he wants. Don’t let him give up.”

But they underestimate you, I think they always did. They thought you followed me, deferred to my judgment. But we were always equal, at least in my eyes. It was the fans that somehow turned me into the leader. I just didn’t think the McMahon's would have bought into it. But after weeks of hearing them tell me, ‘He’ll listen to you’ I started to believe it. I’m the one who suggested you get a push. I’m the one who hinted about giving you your own ‘Desire’ montage. I’m the one who pulled for you behind the scenes when you wanted a break from the monotony of house shows. The only thing I cant take credit for, thankfully, is the whole Trish Stratus angle. I thought all of this might help to bring back that fire in your eyes.

Don’t want to fight day and night
Bad enough you’re going

God help me I was a step away from asking them to ship you back to OVW for awhile. Maybe time at The Farm would shake you up. Show you what you were doing. What you were throwing away.

Don’t leave in silence, with no word at all
Don’t get mad and slam the door
That’s no way to end this

I’m inside now and I’m running down the hall of WWE headquarters and all that’s streaming through my head is that I didn’t want it to happen this way. Didn’t we always have big plans, weren’t we going to go out on top? As brothers, as best friends but most importantly, together.

I know how I
Want you to say goodbye

I don’t think I can do this without you. That’s what I’m feeling now and my heart is pounding to the tympani of my thoughts as I round another corner. I don’t know if I can make it alone...I guess that’s what you’ve been thinking this whole time.
All I wanted to do was to be there when you made the decision, to be standing next to you when it all went down to show my support whatever you needed. All I want now is to be able to catch you before you leave. I just need to see you Jeff , before you disappear.

Don't run off in the pouring rain.

Coming around the corner I nearly slam directly into JR. He staggers back a bit and then he realizes it’s me. He sighs, shakes his head and walks on.

Don’t call me as they call your plane.

Ahead of me is the open door of Vince’s office and I see you inside, standing in front of your chair, your arm outstretched. It’s not until I come closer that I realize you’re shaking hands, an undeniably final gesture.

Take the hurt out of all the pain.

I’m standing there in the middle of the hall, rooted to the spot, unable to move as you leave the office and start down the hall. I can’t be angry with you, not for what you’re doing or for how you’re telling me. It’s just that none of this is how I pictured it or how I wanted it. As our eyes meet you pause, only for a second and then you’re right in front of me, reaching out, pulling into a hug so tight that I don’t think you’ll ever let go. I don’t want you to.

“It’s all you now, big brother, it’s all you.” you’re whispering and it takes all my strength to mumble back, “I love you.” without my voice cracking. You’re pulling back from me and I see you’re smiling but I don’t know what to make of it. Is it a smile of relief? Of release? Of regret? I don’t know and I don’t have time to ask because now...you’re leaving me.

Take me to a park

I turn to watch you walk away wishing my embrace could make you return, hoping my eyes told you all that I couldn’t quite voice. That I’ll be here when you think you need me and when you think you don’t. I’ll always be here.

That’s covered in trees

It isn’t until this moment that I realize its over, that something I always thought to be indestructible was broken. And right now there isn’t any Mattitude, there’s no crowd, no screaming fans, no Hardy Boyz, there’s just quiet. Just silence. There’s just you and me. Matt and Jeff, on a road with a fork in it that I never saw coming. We’re letting each other go our separate ways, leaving one another with unspoken words, promises, and hope.

Tell me on

I hope one day I’ll walk without guilt and regret.

a Sunday....

I hope one day you’ll walk without doubt and fear.

please...

I hope one day we’ll walk back to each other again.