The Yellow Jackets Get Their Revenge

The Yellow Jackets get their revenge.

The boys and I started slow today. It was still dark outside, as I rolled over to the end of the bed. I slowly let my leg travel down the side of the mattress until I felt the floor with my toes. I then stood up and reached out to Eddie and shook him gently.

"Get up," I said softly, “let’s watch TV.”

He said, “ok,” very quietly.”

Eddie put his finger to his lips as though he needed to remind me to be quiet, and that everyone else was still sleeping. I shrugged and gestured ok. I went to Tommy’s bed and just pulled the bed covers off of him. I picked up the little guy and just stood him up. He started to protest when I carefully put my hand across his mouth.

I whispered,” We are going to watch TV.”

Tommy nodded his head to let me know he understood. Then he grabbed himself to indicate he had to go to the bathroom.

I nodded, and said "Potty Tommy, Eddie?"

I looked at Eddie and he nodded. He was still holding his finger to his lips. We had to get past Mom and Dad who were in the room right next to the bathroom. I went first bent over low with Eddie holding on to me, and followed by Tommy holding on to him. We knew if were detected or spotted we would be directed to go back to bed, after a good scolding.

We made it into the bathroom and Eddie closed the very squeaky door as quietly as he could. He grimaced and quaked with every squeak. He was still holding his finger to his lips. I think he may have thought the door would be a little quieter if he continued his gesture. Every squeak did bring us more concern that our early morning operation would be jeopardized. Eddie let out a long deep breath and gulped down some air quietly. He was holding his breath to keep from making noise since we left our bedroom. I smiled and started to tell him they couldn’t hear him breathe. I decided to just gesture, we had to get busy.

We knew the early morning drill. We would take our place at the toilet. I would be on the end of the toilet and in the center of the boys. Tommy would be on my left and Eddie on my right.
With no conversation we would unsnap our pajamas and begin reliving ourselves of liquids. We would aim our streams to meet in the middle over the toilet. The intersection of our yellow swords was usually tougher early in the morning than later in the day. We always thought the process was funny and would begin laughing quietly. Laughing almost always caused our streams to go haywire.

My poor mom cleaned our bathroom daily and sometimes wondered allowed, "how come these boys can't hit the toilet."

Eddie reminded us, “Keep quiet guys!"

Our next trick would be to cross swords by waving them up and down. The trouble was, by this time some one was running out of fluid. The first stream would falter and fade away then the second stream. The one with fluid left was the undeclared winner. Eddie and I snapped up our pajamas. Tommy gave us a look that reminded us he still needed help.

I said, “Eddie, you help him."

He shook his head no as he looked at Tommy struggling to get his snaps reset. He ultimately felt bad for him and snapped one of his middle snaps.

“There that will do it,” Eddie said.

Tommy asked, "what about the rest of my buttons?"

I whispered, "don't worry about them."

Tommy gave us a look, shook his head and kept trying to button up the rest of his snaps.

We would avoid washing our hands in order to preserve the morning quiet. The other reason for not washing; we didn’t like to, it is a guy thing.

After our morning toilet we would make our way quietly into the living room and turn on the TV. I turned the volume down very low and would bring it up slowly until we could all hear it. We would not speak; we just stared at the tube. We sat real close in fact; we were within inches of the tube.

If Mom caught us like this she would make us back up and say, “your are going to go blind, back up Timmy, back up Eddie, Tommy backup”!

The TV station came on at 7:00 am. We watched the test pattern for ten minutes before the programming began. After the national anthem was played, the first show of the day was a rerun of the Three Stooges followed by the Little Rascals.

If we were lucky and the folks were sleeping in; we might get to watch some of Captain Kangaroo before someone said, “boys get dressed and get cleaned up”.

On this morning Granny, put on a housecoat, slippers, and went right into the kitchen to start breakfast. Pappy was not far behind. He would arrive about the same time as the coffee would arrive in his cup at the table. He would take his place at the head of the kitchen table and wait for his breakfast. There was not much conversation early in the prepare breakfast eat breakfast morning ritual. However, before the meal was complete, a plan for the day had been decided on.

Pappy announced, “Granny, going to down to the yard to see the boys today."

Granny said, “I think I will go to the to the Five and Dime and then to the A&P."

Granny would make black coffee, grits, and a fried egg for Pappy and anyone else that came to the table. The brothers and I got milk, the cold sweet and frothy kind.

Granny would find you and invite you to breakfast if you were moving too slow.
“Turn that TV off and come get your breakfast,” she would say. If she thought she said it too loudly she would laugh quietly at herself and gently say, “it’s getting cold.” She would add a nod to make sure you understood, now.

Pappy had an unusual way of drinking his coffee. He would pour the hot brew into his cup’s saucer. He would then blow across the saucer and lift it to his mouth and slurp the black brew in. He would look at me wink and say, “that’s gooooood.” He might repeat this a couple of times until his cup had cooled down enough to drink.


I asked, "Pappy why do you do that"?

“It cools off the coffee me boy”. Do you want to try some"?

I excitedly said, "Sure do!"

He handed me the saucer and I managed one good gulp. " Oh Pappy that’s terrible", I complained. "It is so yucky".

He laughed and said, "it doesn’t have any sugar in it".

Granny would bring food to the table. It was in Granny’s kitchen I developed a taste for grits. I loved breaking up my over easy eggs and stirring them into the grits. Occasionally there was sausage to add to the growing pile. I would spread the yellow mixture on my toast and eagerly eat the morning feast.

This morning Pappy and dad were on a mission to the railroad yard. A trip with Pappy to the rail yard was so cool. You would get to see lots of trains and meet some of the people Pappy had worked with before his retirement. Sometimes Pappy would arrange a short ride for me and let me pull switch that sounded the trains horn. As a young boy this was heaven on earth, and it was another reason I loved my Pappy so much.
I looked at dad and Pappy and pleaded, "could I please come too?"

“Not this time Timmy.”

Disappointed I walked away slouched shouldered moping, and thinking, oh well, they would be back by lunchtime.

The boys, Paula, and I were able to do some of our daily exploring. Our first stop today and everyday was the spider. Normally, I would toss in an ant, and the spider would quickly subdue the poor creature and then wrap it up in a cocoon. Pappy told me that was the spider’s way of saving a meal for later. The web already had many ants trussed up in tiny cocoons. This morning the spider did nothing. He must be full, sleeping, or dead. We had to move on to more exciting adventures.

We checked out the privet hedge for any interesting creatures that may be hiding from us. We found nothing today. Then we got lucky and found a large mound of very busy ants. We could kick their nest into oblivion or we could drown them with a bucket of water. If Paula wasn’t with us we might even pee on them; but she would tell, so no one mentioned the idea.

Then a poor cricket wandered into our field of vision. We knew instantly the intruding giant-cricket had to be dealt with. I removed one its back legs and placed the offering on the ant mound. The small ants were slow to respond; so, I inserted a piece of straw down the main hole into the nest. This had the effect I had hoped for. The ants charged out of their nest and attacked the giant with a fierceness that was impressive.

Eddie, Tommy, Paula and I watched carefully.

Eddie asked, "Why are the ants so mean?"

Tommy wondered allowed, “Would they eat all of the cricket?”

We watched the ants pull the back leg down the hole. Paula thought it was "icky", and ran back into the house to find a less intense activity. We observed the final moments of the cricket, and then wondered, what we should do next.

I thought about the yellow jackets and scurried down the driveway to get the bat in the garage. Tommy was right next to me. Eddie had the same thought and was trying to beat me to the bat. I quicken my pace in response to Eddie faster movements.

Eddie complained, “Timmy, you always get to use the bat!”

“There is a good reason,” I replied. The truth is, I am the only one quick enough to do it. “All right you can do it this time Eddie, Tommy you can do it next time,” I informed the group.

Eddie was eager. He knew what to do as he had watched me perform the same task many times before. He grasped the bat and started for the nest in the wall. Tommy was equally interested in the outcome and moved in for a closer look. Looking back that was probably a mistake. Eddie took a swing at the yellow jackets and struck the wall solidly. His first blow was more than enough, as the yellow jackets reacted like they had learned our game. Eddie was reloading for the second swing when I noticed the insects were already streaming through the crack. I jumped back quickly. Eddie saw me jump and he let go of the bat and started running. It was a timely reaction as two yellow jackets had come close to getting him. Tommy was moving slowly; he wanted his closer look. First one yellow jacket landed on him then a second and a third.

The problem with yellow jackets Pappy told me later is they can sting you a hundred times. Their stingers are stronger than honeybees. A honeybee can only sting you once. I had been stung by a yellow jacket previously. I had stepped on a their nest in the ground. It felt like I stepped on a hot nail.

Poor Tommy had about ten of them on him by now, and every one of them was getting their revenge for what we had been doing to them. Eddie grabbed Tommy and pulled him out of the way and started him running up the driveway.

Eddie and I were screaming, “run, Tommy run!”

Tommy was even louder screaming, “get them off me.” Tommy ran crying up the driveway waving his arms franticly. The three of us ran into the house. Fortunately for us the yellow jackets had lost interest. I am not sure if it was Granny, Aunt Polly, Aunt Barbara, or Mom that grabbed Tommy and started first aid. I do know who ever wasn’t working on Tommy was giving me the third degree.

"What happened?"

"How did he get so many stings?"

"What do you mean, you always did it before and never got stung?"

"You are the oldest Timmy, and your supposed to watch out for your little brother!"

Eddie and I were crying by this time. We were really worried about Tommy and were fretful about being in real trouble.

Someone said, “We may have to take the child to the hospital.”

At this point Eddie and I were sent to the back bedroom. We were still crying and wondering why Tommy didn’t run. I suggested to Eddie, "the person holding the bat is supposed to tell every one to run". Eddie put his face in his pillow and just sobbed. I felt terrible and joined Eddie crying with real concern and remorse for Tommy.

Our pillows were becoming wet with our tears when an Aunt Polly parent stopped in and said, "It looks like little Tommy is going to be ok, so you can calm down boys." She rubbed our backs and asked, "boys what were you thinking?" She didn't expect an answer and left us to calm down.

A little later, when we had regained our composer, we were escorted back into the kitchen. Little Tommy was a site. He dropped the small blanket he was wrapped up in to reveal the large swollen knots that were stings. Some one had broken up a cigarette and dampened the tobacco; they had applied the brown yucky mess to all of his stings.

"It's to reduce the swelling and pain," one of the women lectured. Tommy was calm and enjoying the attention he was getting.

I offered,” I’m so sorry Tommy.” I reached out to touch his arm. I asked, “Does it hurt much?”

He just shook his head and said, "yes". All the women just groaned and glared at Eddie and I.
I lowered my head and nodded in agreement.

Eddie wanted to hug him and carefully approached and said, “I’m sorry too Tommy”. Eddie kissed him lightly on the cheek.

"Boys, I hoped you learned your lesson. Those things can kill you"! one of the women said.

Later, Pappy and dad fixed the yellow jackets for good. Dad lit a highway flare and burned them out. I watch the procedure as dad did the deed. The flare sounded like a rocket engine and the yellow jackets offered no fight. Those mean yellow jackets got what they deserved, I reasoned. Besides it was cool to watch. Pappy mixed up some cement and covered the crack up so no yellow jacket could ever get his boys again.

“They won’t be back to bother you,” he said.

Tommy was still the center of attention of all the women in the house.

"Tommy, do you want something to drink?” Mom asked.

"How about a snack?” granny offered.

"Do you want another blanket?" Aunt Polly asked with gentle concern.

He was getting kisses, hugs and was checked frequently for more swelling or any reaction that could suggest a worsening of his condition. He didn't want for a thing. His needs were anticipated and met in the same moment. They even carried him to the bathroom if he felt the need for a visit.

We had to go exploring without him for a few days. Every time the boys and I went outside for the next couple of weeks one of the women was checking up on us. They would leave us with a warning, "Stay away from the bees, yellow jackets ants and spiders"!

The spider had met its fate when My Aunt Polly sprayed it with something. Pappy's yard just won't be as fun anymore.