Payment

CODE: H (set in the Horus/Kemet storyline)

TAKES PLACE DURING (specific story): All scenes: NA

PAIRING: Sokar/Selket (M/F)

EXPLANATION: Potential spoilers. All righty. A LONG time ago, when I was just starting to get into THAT phase, I came up with a scenario involving Sokar and Hathor. No, not THAT kind of scenario. Keep reading. You see, Sokar just has this way of getting on everybody's nerves--witness him in Horus, and he really pisses off Ra in my short story "Challenge"--and one of the people he happened to piss off was Hathor. Being the goddess of love, she retaliates by...making him fall IN love and OUT of love and IN love and OUT of love and...you get the picture. But you see, Sokar usually does not feel love in the same way as others. He tends to fall more in...lust. So here's poor Sokar, falling IN lust and OUT of lust and IN lust and OUT of lust and...it's getting really frustrating, especially since he feels compelled to act on these urges. And his usual targets--human females--are rather afraid of him. (If you saw a scary black-cloaked shadowy dude with a hawk's beak and glowing red eyes, well, how would YOU react?) So Hathor wears poor Sokar down in this way, with him spending just about every waking moment either pursuing women or trying NOT to pursue women...as I said, poor guy. Eventually Ra, I think, gets fed up with the whole mess and orders Hathor to go apologize and put an end to the thing. (It MUST have been bad for RA to step in--he hates Sokar!) Hathor pouts but goes to see the god, with no intention whatsoever of stopping. When she sees how exhausted he is from all his skirt-chasing, however, she relents and they call a truce. She can't help but take a poke at him every now and then, though. Making him fall in love with her half-sister Selket was one such poke, at both Sokar and Selket, as Hathor detests them both--Sokar for insulting her, and Selket for being so slutty and making her look bad. She thinks she can turn the situation to her advantage by making the two fall in love. Selket, after being harassed by weasely tortoise god Apesh, turns to Sokar for protection and...you see what happens. The two just have a thing for each other. Rather than be angered that Sokar is bedding one of his daughters, however, Ra...doesn't care!! Hathor is beyond pissed off, and an unwritten scene, "Upuat/Selket," is one bit of fallout from all of this...but that's then and not now. (See the fantasy piece "Unreal" if you want, anyway, just for a bit of fun.)

DISCLAIMERS: These are rather old, so there may be some inconsistencies (including some icky POV problems in "Payment"). I don't THINK Sokar would be quite so paranoid and afraid as he acts in "Payment," but then again, when you're dealing with the daughter of a VERY powerful god... Also, a hawk god, with teeth--? Yep; don't expect me to explain it, though. And, why is Upuat present in "Lap Dance," you may ask?--that scene takes place in a time period not long after the events outlined in my non-erotic story "Escape" (see "Role Reversal" for more info), during which Upuat has been sent to Sokar's palace for "training" to reenter the normal world. (Yah, for some reason they thought Sokar was the best person to resituate him. Whatever, I know.)

* * * * *

Payment

She stepped inside the darkened palace, glancing around at the few lamps that lit the place, lining the walls on both sides of the hall that she walked through. Her footsteps echoed on the floor. There was nothing else to be heard. She would have thought that she was alone, except a slight flutter drew her attention to the end of the hallway, still lost in shadows. A small black hawk flew out toward her, alighting on one of the lamps.

"Who are you?" it asked.

"Goddess Selket. I'm here to see Lord Sokar."

"Is he expecting you?"

"No."

"I'll let him know you're here." Without a further word it was gone, just as quickly as it had appeared.

She waited for a moment; hearing and seeing nothing further, she continued. Several moments passed as she walked. She started to get the feeling that something was watching her, and stopped to listen, peering into one of the side hallways. Nothing.

"Goddess Selket?"

She nearly jumped at the voice, whirling around in the direction she'd come from. If she hadn't had exceptional night vision she would have seen nothing but two red glowing spots in the shadows; as dark as it was, all that she could make out were the spots, surrounded by an even blacker patch of darkness.

She nodded. "God Sokar?"

The shadow stepped forward and tilted its head in a possible bow. "That is what I'm called."

He smiled at her with his hawk's beak, a crooked, chilly smile. He was dressed all in black, a long cape draped down over his shoulders almost to the floor. It swirled around him when he moved. His eyes glowed red in the dimness. There was something in his smile that unnerved her, yet also drew her toward him. Selket lifted her head slightly, showing that she was unafraid, and offered her own smile.

"I've come to ask if you could help me with something."

"What is it you need, Goddess?"

There was a slight sardonic tone to his voice which she ignored. She assumed that he was simply trying to frighten her, for no real reason other than to see if it could be done. She wasn't going to let him. "I've been having some problems with God Apesh. Do you know him?"

"I've heard of him." The tone of his voice changed, now sounding almost disinterested.

"It seems that God Apesh has been trying to convince himself that we are in love and are to be married soon."

"And what's the problem with this?"

She sneered. "I'm not interested in him in the least."

The corner of his mouth twitched upwards. "Poor Apesh. Yet what is it you wished me to do?"

"It also seems that God Apesh is getting a little too convinced," she explained. "Basically, he has started to become somewhat threatening. I thought perhaps you could cool him down."

"By doing--?"

"Nothing much. Simply letting him know when he's overstepping his bounds, and making sure to put him back in his place should he ever do so."

Sokar's grin grew deeper. He executed a mock bow, crossing his arm over his chest and dipping at the waist. "If that's all you want, then I'd be honored to do it, Lady Selket."

That sarcastic tone again. When he stood up and his eyes locked on hers she felt a thrill run through her. She had no way of knowing how he felt but she was certainly interested in him. Simply the acidy tone of his words; he wasn't seething with the false sugary flattery or respectful deference that any of the other deities showed. It was almost as if he were mocking her, trying to scare her off, testing her own boundaries. It didn't put her off as she was sure it would have done with most of the other goddesses. It only made her interest grow.

"I have no way to pay you with money right now," she told him.

He shook his head, again almost boredly. "You don't need to pay me."

"I know," she said, stepping forward. "But I want to."

She approached and draped her arms over his shoulders. He was taller than she was; she drew his head down and kissed him. She didn't know how he'd react to that; maybe his whole attitude hadn't been false at all, maybe he really had wished her gone. But she had to find out.

A moment later he cupped her face with one hand, his other hand going to her back. She smiled inwardly. So he had been interested, after all; it wasn't only mockery that she'd seen in his eyes. She had no way of knowing the surprise he'd felt when she first kissed him, almost as if she'd been reading his thoughts; at first he'd suspected a trick, it had to be a trick of Hathor's of some kind, yet it seemed real enough; he responded and kissed her back, even more passionately. She ran her hands down his back; then she felt him lift her up in his arms, carrying her; several minutes later he was putting her down, and she could feel the softness of pillows against her back, and knew that he'd brought her to his bed. When he broke the kiss, climbing up to join her, she grinned, tracing a finger down his chest and laughing silently. His eyes were hooded and hard to see in the dark, yet still they smoldered like two coals. He brought himself over her, touching her face and kissing her again. She drew up her leg, running her foot along his leg lightly. He ran his hand down her side. When he released the straps on her dress and pulled it down she did the same with his clothing, pulling it off and discarding it over the side of the bed. His hands caressed her as he pulled her dress down over her hips; as soon as she was freed of it she rubbed against him again, undoing the belt to his kilt. His long cape she left on, as it covered them, shielding them from the night. She tasted his mouth, twining her hands across his back and lifting herself, pressing her hips against him. He was moving now, back and forth slightly; he stroked her thigh and pressed her back down gently yet firmly. She could feel him throbbing against her now, and laughed silently again, shifting beneath him, spreading her legs as wide as she could, bending at the knees. He rose slightly, placing himself between her legs; as soon as he was positioned he pushed inside. Selket's back arched and she lifted her legs, her thighs pressing against him; as he started to move, pushing in and pulling out, she stretched her legs again, rubbing against his. He rose and fell slowly, thrusting; he wasn't panting but his breath was deep and heavy. Selket wasn't panting either but she too breathed deeply, gasping when he pushed deeper inside. She kissed him again, her tongue darting inside to meet his; she murmured into his mouth and moved with him, her hips swaying in a rolling motion. She had expected him to go quickly, furiously; this was better than what she had hoped for.

Sokar, on the other hand, hadn't expected anything at all; even as he'd carried her inside he'd still been thinking that it must be a trick of Hathor's, to draw out his anger again and test his patience; yet when Selket had opened herself for him, and let him enter, he knew that it couldn't be that way. Hathor would never have let it go this far if she'd truly been behind it. Instead of pondering over that he savored her as much as he could, the feel of her beneath him; the satin smoothness of her skin, the tautness of her muscles, the warmth of her inside; she had been with others, he could tell, she had that much experience; yet he knew that he was also tasting more deeply of her than any of them ever could have. He felt a fire in his chest which she felt also; though much of it was physical, he knew there was an element there that wasn't. It was something he hadn't quite felt before, but he knew what it was.

Selket murmured again, straining against him. She was almost ready to come. He ran his fingers over her breasts and she arched into him; they weren't large, and she herself was rather narrow hipped, as slender and delicate as a river reed, but he didn't care about that anyway; the fire inside both of them was burning fiercer. And what she might have lacked in bodily voluptuousness was made up for by the darkness of her eyes, that thick, moist, teasing darkness which had first drawn him to her, as the fiery cynicism in his had drawn her. He cupped her hips, kissing her deeply; when he thrust again and released she gasped and pressed against him, accepting him. For a moment or two they stayed that way, straining into each other; then he let out his breath, feeling the flow of his seed waning, and she relaxed as well, sinking down beneath him. There was a faint gleam of perspiration on her skin in the dimness; breathing heavily, he pulled himself out to lie at her side. Selket lay trying to steady her own breath, turning her head slightly on the pillows and tracing a finger along his chest again; with a sigh he burrowed his head tiredly into the bed. She moved to lie closer to him, resting her head against his arm; closing her eyes, she felt sleep take its hold, and surrendered herself to it, as she had surrendered to Sokar.

* * * * *

It was the sound of birds that awakened her. With a murmur she opened her eyes, her vision immediately clearing on Sokar's face. He still slept beside her. She stretched, catlike, and sighed in contentment. His reaction to her last night had been better than she'd hoped. She'd thought that he might back away and scream at her to leave his palace immediately for propositioning him like that. There were others, mortals included, who would have reacted that way. Yet she knew she had him for good now.

She rolled onto her side and traced her finger along his face. He shook his head slightly and tried to swat her away. With a giggle she kept doing this until he forced his eyes open and looked at her.

He'd thought that it was just a dream. But what he saw proved that it wasn't. It was Goddess Selket, who'd come to him for help. Lying beside him. Naked. She smiled at him coyly.

Immediately he was up, his eyes wide with shock and--dare she think it?--horror. He leapt off of the bed, just as catlike as she; his cape swirled around him, hiding his own nakedness. He clutched at it as if to try and hide himself further.

"Goddess!" he burst out, half confused. He tried to shove the last of the sleep from his mind, shaking his head wildly. Selket sat up, not bothering to draw the pillows around her. Sokar felt himself flush furiously; he averted his eyes, putting up a hand to shield everything below her neck from his sight. The goddess looked offended.

"Is this any way to say good morning?" she asked, crossing her arms over her breasts.

He clenched his teeth and continued looking away, only stealing glances at her to get a glimpse of the look on her face. "Goddess--I'm sorry about this," he said, his speech stilted. "I didn't--I didn't force you, did I--?"

Selket's eyes widened and she gaped at him for a moment. Then she burst into laughter. Against his will, Sokar felt his tensed muscles relaxing. She wouldn't be laughing if he'd forced her to do anything.

"Forced--forced me?" she gasped, and laughed again, doubling over. "In case you don't remember, Lord Sokar, I came on to you. I hardly think you forced me to do anything."

He let out his breath. Well, that was one good thing. Now all that he had to do was get her out of here quietly.

"I am sorry it turned out like this," he echoed himself, ignoring the fact that it had been her idea from the start. She just looked at him, uncomprehending. "God Ra will hear nothing of this. I promise."

"Ra? What's Father got to do with this?"

He cringed inwardly. "I won't tell him about this, if you won't. He doesn't need to know, and your reputation will be intact. You could go on your way as if we had never spoken."

"Go on my way?" She frowned at him. "If I did not know any better I'd say you are trying to brush me off."

He looked at her again. "Isn't that what you want? If God Ra were to find out about this, he'd have both our heads."

She snorted and crossed her arms again. "If God Ra were to find out, I couldn't care less." This time it was Sokar who gaped. "What we had last night was something that takes more than one night to experience."

"You don't mean--" He didn't finish the statement. He couldn't believe that she was even still interested, what with her father apt to be watching over her every minute that he could. Sokar hadn't wanted to take the chance.

She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and stood, coming toward him. He looked away hurriedly again; she was still making no effort to cover herself. When she placed her hand upon his arm he actually flinched away from her, as if expecting Ra to be looking in right at that moment.

"I know you got something more out of that than what you usually get with others," she murmured, running her fingers lightly down his arm. He swallowed hard. It embarrassed him to hear her talking about his "others"; he'd hoped that she would never think about him being with anyone else. "I know because I did too. We may as well both face it, Lord Sokar--there's something more in both of us than in anyone else. We won't find it elsewhere, no matter how hard we look."

He shook his head, adamant. "I'm not going to lie to you, Lady Selket. Your father and I have never gotten along well. I have a--'reputation' among the other gods. I don't want it rubbing off on you. You don't deserve that kind of treatment."

"Reputation?" She grinned, her eyes narrowing slightly. "You don't get out as much as you should, do you, Lord Sokar? I have a reputation myself. Simply being seen with you wouldn't change things much."

He flushed again. "I wouldn't want to lessen any respect you do get--"

"I don't care about respect. They can have all the respect or contempt they want. I couldn't care less what they think. It's only their shallow opinion." Her hard grin turned into a smile and she continued running her fingers along his face and neck. Sokar felt a dull ache inside him; what she was saying so far was making sense. Two black sheep couldn't do anything to hurt each other's reputation. "Face it, Lord, you never cared about your own reputation that much; that's why you and Father are on such close terms, isn't it?" He didn't reply, so she went on. "Well, I never cared much about mine either. I suppose that's why Goddess Hathor likes me so much." Her mouth twitched. "I'm certain you know what I mean by 'like'?"

He sneered faintly himself. "I do."

"It seems maybe, however, she's given us both a respite. We should take advantage of that, shouldn't we?" She caressed his face. "Or else I know we'd never be able to forgive ourselves."

Her dark sloe eyes were drawing him in, deeper and deeper. He stared into her face as if hypnotized, and his voice was, surprisingly to him, merely a murmur when he replied.

"Yes," he said, barely a whisper. "Or we'd never forgive ourselves."

She continued smiling at him, her eyes two dark pools reflecting the fiery red coals of his. "God Ra or no God Ra," she whispered.

And Sokar bent down, and kissed her.

Lap Dance

Selket draped her arms over Sokar's shoulders and smiled at him; he touched her sides and backed her to a chair standing next to a chest, setting her down. He sat down to join her and she teasingly lifted one leg.

"Trying to find out what's underneath?" she asked, still with her sly smile. Sokar smiled back and kissed her.

"I've already found out. Many times."

"True, but each time is just like new, isn't it?" Her shoulders shook as she laughed silently; he kissed her again, pushing up her dress as his hands ran slowly up her thighs. Selket wriggled back slightly on the padded chair, bending both legs up sharply so she was bared for him. Sokar dropped his eyes briefly and she could sense the distinct increase in his excitement, even if the change in his breathing was only minimal. They were always that way. She grinned and traced her fingers down his arms, swaying side to side invitingly.

"Come on, Lord Sokar," she teased. "I showed you what's underneath. You show me."

He didn't have to show her; he moved forward with his own legs spread and his feet upon the floor. Selket reached underneath his kilt, undoing his loincloth and stroking his member, hard and engorged, guiding him toward her. He moved closer again and pushed fully inside; Selket laughed silently again and shivered with delight. Sokar was well built, just right for what she wanted; and Sokar enjoyed her as well, how she wrapped around him snug and warm without being too tight. He dropped his head forward to kiss her on the mouth, on the neck as he reached down to seize her buttocks, feeling her shiver again and wrap her arms around him. Their mouths devoured one another hungrily.

Upuat was unable to sleep. The nightmares were bothering him enough so that he didn't even wish to close his eyes lest he should see something horrible there. He paced down the dark halls until he found himself passing Sokar's rooms, and saw a light burning inside. He paused and cocked his head, listening. Sokar was usually asleep by now; yet he could occasionally hear coming from the room a soft laugh or murmur. He could make out two distinct voices.

He moved toward the door silently and peered inside. A single lamp was lit, sitting on a chest off to the left; beside it stood a heavy padded chair on which sat two figures. Upuat could make out Selket and Sokar almost immediately. He could barely make out their features because of the lamp burning behind them, but occasionally his sharp eyes would allow him a glimpse of one smiling at the other. At first he was puzzled by the way that they sat; it hardly seemed comfortable. Selket sat with her legs drawn up sharply at her sides, her knees almost at her elbows; Sokar faced her, sitting so close that they touched. He moved once, as if to resituate himself, grinned at Selket, and murmured something that Upuat couldn't make out. Selket replied and gave a soft laugh as soon as he moved again, the same slight motion. Yet he didn't stand up.

Upuat puzzled over this for a moment before squinting, trying to figure out what was going on. He gradually started to understand. Sokar was holding Selket in back, as if either supporting her or keeping her close; though she still wore her dress, and he his kilt, they were both pushed up, although his kilt still draped down enough to cover anything that might show. Selket was bared up to her lower belly. When Sokar moved, paused, and moved again, this time Upuat could tell that he wasn't only touching Selket, he was inside her; he pressed forward in a deep thrust, relaxed, and thrust again. At one point Selket gasped and arched into him, and Sokar responded, growling softly in his throat. The two of them were coupling.

Upuat paused and wondered whether it was a good idea or not that he should see this. As for what they were doing, how they were doing it, he didn't really care; though the position did strike him as being an awkward one. Selket and Sokar didn't seem to mind that, though, Sokar's hips still pushing slowly beneath his kilt. Selket giggled and broke off in another gasp, clutching at him; she let out a low moan. Upuat could tell that was a sign she was coming close; apparently Sokar could tell too, as immediately Upuat noticed him begin to swivel his hips faster, grasping Selket tighter to him as he increased the speed of his thrusts. Neither of them talked now, though Selket was nearly panting, her head thrown back, and Sokar's breath was labored as he concentrated on his coming orgasm. Upuat pulled away from the door then, his curiosity about what was going on satisfied, and turned to head back to his own rooms.

Sokar's fingers sank into Selket's soft flesh. He hoped dimly that he didn't bruise her; through slitted eyes he noticed how her chest heaved beneath the tight top of her dress, her breasts rising and falling. He preferred when she wore the dress that allowed them to hang free, though such attire was frowned upon in social situations, and he supposed that she hadn't had any time to change before coming to him.

And now she did come, gasping and arching suddenly, pulling her legs in, growing tight. Sokar felt the sudden pressure all around him, squeezing, bringing on his own climax; he cut off a gasp as well and hurried to thrust deep into her in order to release himself, feeling now the deep, body-filling satisfaction of his seed spurting from his body into hers. He tried not to shiver as she did when he pulled out, his hardness dying. Selket let out her breath and draped her arms over his shoulders as she had before, offering him a lazy smile, her skin glowing with a faint sheen in the lamplight. Sokar found the look striking. He stood and lifted her up into his arms--she was quite light, compared to him--and carried her over to his bed. She quivered with silent laughter, clinging to him. He laid her down on her back and pressed against her, giving her a deep kiss as he gently pulled down the shoulderstraps on her dress. This time, he thought, as soon as he was ready, they would do it the right way.

Selket, giggling and shirking off her dress and reaching beneath his kilt again, apparently agreed.

The Rivals

Tumu crouched behind the curtains in one of the alcoves in his father's room, parting them just slightly to peer out. He shouldn't be here--he knew it--but he'd found lately that...this...could help to relieve him, the fire burning deep within him, constantly. It shamed him, but the pain was too great to ignore anymore. He'd even awakened one night screaming, to find his father standing at his door, arms crossed, eyes narrowed--and had flushed in humiliation to discover that he'd thrown the covers off, and was naked--and fully hard--right in front of him. He'd grabbed at the sheets, frantically trying to cover himself; Sokar hadn't even said a word, just turning away with a shake of his head. Thankfully he'd never mentioned the incident afterwards. But now...

He had to see Selket. The fire inside him burned for her. His eyes burned to see the smooth contours of her body--her long slender thighs, her smooth arms, her flat belly, the dark silky down between her legs--his body burned to feel her pressed to him; he burned to be inside her, on top of her, pushing viciously, filling her until she screamed... But the only time he could see her, and enjoy her, was when he bit his tongue and forced himself to keep silent...as his father enjoyed her, not too far from his own rooms.

The sounds of their lovemaking--almost every night--inflamed him with lust and hatred. Why should Sokar enjoy her so often? Why not him?

And so...to sate his desire...to end the burning...he hid in his own father's room; watched his own father and Selket (gods, he burned for her!) enter, arm in arm; watched them banter lightly, then Selket kissed Sokar, then he kissed her back, then they pressed against each other, bodies molding perfectly...he saw his father's hand casually slip the strap of Selket's dress off her shoulder, and squeeze the soft small breast that emerged, dark aureole peaking with its hard nipple. His fingers pinched the tiny bump of flesh and twisted it so the goddess gasped. In that moment Tumu hated his father more than anything.

Their mouths parted, and they murmured and laughed a bit, slowly sinking to the bed. Selket smiled up at Sokar and her foot trailed up his leg. He seized her hip, and pushed up her dress to bare her bounty. Tumu suppressed a moan. Even in the dimness he could clearly see all that she offered, her pink opening splaying with its dark ring of hair. It glistened with moisture already.

Sokar nuzzled at her neck, breath heavy. And Tumu damned the thick throbbing shaft that slowly made its way for that beautiful opening.

Selket put out one hand and gently seized him, stopping him. Sokar let out his breath, while Tumu held his. Was she refusing him entry? She smiled up at him in a coy manner, even while her hand kept him at bay. He seemed to shift a bit impatiently, murmuring something, and then Selket said something back, still with her smile. Sokar lifted his head a bit, and then nodded. He let go of her arm and pushed himself back; she sat up and kissed his neck.

Tumu's jaw tightened. What were they doing?

Ah...he should have expected it. Judging by the wild cries they let out every so often as he tried to sleep, the halls ringing with her wails and his harsh groans, he should have expected that this was how they then enjoyed one another. His fist tightened and he ground his teeth anew. He would have preferred what they had originally planned for that night; it would have been easier to accept. Instead he now had to sit and endure the sight of his beloved kneeling splayed upon the silky bed, head tossed back and body arched, her buttocks parting more and more as his father gripped them and pushed into her from behind. He did not take her properly; Tumu could tell that he pressed deeply within her anus instead, as his fingers occasionally trailed down between her legs to finger her, prodding inside and collecting her juices, rubbing her sensitive pudenda. The goddess moaned and trembled. Tumu ached to see her glistening lips, parted in rapture.

"Oh...My Lord...take me...My Lord...take me deep..."

Sokar grunted softly. His body bowed forward and he rutted at her like a dog. Tumu envisioned himself rising from his hiding place, striding forward and grasping one of the heavy pots along the floor, approaching Sokar and swinging the container through the air and smashing it against his father's skull so that it cracked the bone, sending him sprawling nerveless to the floor. He turned to Selket to see her startled expression, her hands covering up her breasts; and before she could recover herself, he had grabbed onto her, forced her slickened legs apart, and thrust himself inside with a lusty yell, bouncing atop her rapidly. And the goddess was so enraptured by his powerful motions that he felt her juicy walls, sweet as honey, tighten and tighten around him until they leeched the seed from within his rod, both of them crying out and bucking into one another, rivers of his fluid gushing within her, a torrent of her own juices dampening his front. Her very breasts seeped milk which he hastened to suck from her swollen skin, his fingers clawing at her as his seed coursed most magnificently until she sank back with a weak sigh. He pleased her so greatly, that he did not even have to ask before they lay upon one another, hips meeting mouths, tongues gathering sweet and salty fluids...

But no...it was only what he saw in his head, and what he saw in reality mirrored it, except that it was his father who sucked at Selket's soft, hot mound, the goddess's able mouth around Sokar's fat penis. Her fingers played over his testicles and she licked them, lifting her head further to tongue his anus. He stiffened and murmured appreciatively; a moment later a gasp and arch proved that he did the same to her, and that she felt the same appreciation. They both laughed breathlessly and rocked slowly, pleased with their heated lovemaking.

And all that Tumu could do was watch and grind his teeth and clench his fists, heedless of the hardness and resulting wetness between his own thighs, witnessing with hatred and fury the sight of his father and his one beloved locked in a hot tangled dance of flesh and sweat and desire.

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This item is not looking for critique. It was written solely for entertainment's sake. Although a scene from a possibly longer story, it is complete in itself and unless otherwise stated there is not going to be any more of it written. Additional unrelated SCENES may be written, but single scenes themselves are complete as they are. So please do not expect more. If you are interested in reading the series which INSPIRED the scene, just look elsewhere in my portfolio and you should find something. (Use the "story codes" given in the scene headers. For example, "MI" = "Manitou Island" series.)

I am not looking for critique on grammar, spelling, style, sentence structure, flow, or the mechanics of writing. What I AM interested in is commentary on such things as characterization, plot, symbolism, theme, etc.--the deeper aspects of the story. I like to know if a scene is believable, if the characters are interesting, what you thought of how they interacted, if the writing evoked any emotions, things such as that.

Feel free to criticize, but just keep in mind that I'm working on more important projects and shared this just for fun and/or to illustrate character interactions, so I don't plan to revise it any time soon. Comments on the characters, theme, etc. are more than welcome.