The Personal Plumber, a dangerous lover

Sambo sat back and hit the play button. The lights were out and he had his magic towel strategically placed on his left thigh. He thought to himself "I'm gonna get my money's worth outa this one, gonna make it last, gonna go slow and smooth like." The movie started. It was Illegal Entry: 6 starring Mami Salami and she was in the middle of a very personal body search as Sambo struggled to get his pants down and get in position. Sambo always intended on slowly stretching out his intimate self-abusing experiences but always came up short, blowing it all after barely a minute of sweet monkey love. Tonight was different he thought and began slowly. Mami Salami was now getting her anal inspected with a flashlight shaped like a cock and Sambo was really starting to heat up. Then all of a sudden the power went out.In the midst of his unholy passion Sambo was left sitting in the darkness with his dick in his hand, letting out a moan of frustration that sounded somewhat like a young girl who did not get her way.

Sambo reluctantly pulled up his pants and made his way down to the basement. Using a flashlight that he got on his way thru the kitchen, Sambo lit up the wall where the fuse box was located and right away something caught his eye. It was an old gadget he had purchased while up one night watching QVC. It was called the "Personal Plumber" and it functioned somewhat like a plunger. The Personal Plumber was about 12"in long and about the same diameter as the flashlight Sambo was using. The inside was lined with rubber that met in a cone shape about 5"in's up from the bottom. It was meant to be placed directly inside the drain of a sink or bathtub and then pumped up & down to unclog the drain, but Sambo had suddenly thought of a better use for it. He got the power back on, grabbed the "Personal Plumber" and headed back upstairs.

Sambo went straight into the bathroom and got the oversized jar of Vaseline out of the cabinet. At this point Mami Salami had all but disappeared from his mind and he began to work out his game plan involving him and his "Personal Plumber." Sambo thought to himself "Yea baby now's daddy's gonna have a lil' action, lil suck off southern satis-fac-tee--on-ya!." He began lubing the inside of the "Personal Plumber" with the Vaseline adding a little shampoo to make things interesting. He figured it would take some experimenting before he came up with the means to a perfect grade A stimulated blowjob. He removed his pants and was naked from the waste down leaving on his t-shirt, socks and shoes. He sat down on one of the kitchen chairs and started to slowly slip his monkey into the mouth of the "Personal Plumber." The anticipation excited him and his monkey was already as stiff as a 12day old dirty sock. As he pushed his monkey deeper into the "Personal Plumber" (his new found dirty lover) he felt the suction and the rubber started to tighten around his penis. Suddenly he felt the "PP" lock onto his monkey and tighten up to the point that it sent a sharp pain thru his monkey strait down into his balls. He tried to pull it off but the harder he pulled the tighter it got. "SHit, SHIT..SHit...SHITSHIT!" exclaimed Sambo. He did not foresee this complication and was on the verge of panicking. He sat back took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. "I have to stay calm and think of a way out of this without bringing it to anybody's attention" he said to himself while at the same time thinking "Thank God Ma' and Aunt June went to the Casino and won't be back till later".

Doris (Sambo's mother) and June had decided to leave A.C. earlier then they had previously planned. June had lost dam near all her money at the craps table, almost her whole Social Security check, and Doris was adamant about leaving before she ended up penniless. They headed north on the A.C. express way and talked, as they always did, about their sons. " I sure wish that Sambo of mine would get married, he's almost 36yrs old and has no direction in life whatsoever" Doris said with a sigh. "I'm worried about him, just the other day some women called the house and I actually thought he had himself a secret sweet heart." June lit up a Salem and took a long, deep drag "Well what she want?" "Who?" asked Doris as she came back from one of her all too often zone outs. "The goddam broad that called for Sambo" June said with a tone of frustration. "Oh, well she asked for Sambo and I said that he wasn't in and I asked if could take a message. She said tell that, that...". "That what!" June said impatiently as she flicked her smoke out the slightly cracked window. "She said tell that mother you know whater that I want my goddam money. So I asked her why Sambo owed her money. She asked who I was and I told her his Ma' so she says to me tell your pervert son that I want the 20$ for that handjob I gave 'em at the bowling alley 2 weeks ago, I let the bastard go on an I.O.U and he's been avoidin' me." June lit up another Salem and let out a little peeping fart "Sorry hun, all that beef I ate at dat free buffet must be gettin' ta me, so what did you say." Doris cracked her window some more, "Nothing she hung up, so whats up with your Timmy, he still hangin down at that pool hall?" "Ya, the bastard, gots himself a job down the docks and it pays good, but all he does is sit around smokin' dat whacky weed if he's not down at dat pool hall wit da rest of dem hoodlooms." Doris sighed and shook her head. "We'll at least he's working". June lit another Salem off of the one she had just smoked down to the filter and Doris zoned out again as they turned the corner onto the street on which she lived.


Sambo was standing on a step stool and leaning over the sink. He was trying to submerge the "Personal Plumber" and his penis in hot water, but because of the awkward position, was having no such luck. Desperation was kicking in and the "P.P." had completely cut off the circulation to Sambo's penis. He started to feel the tingling sensation that is commonly felt when ones arm or leg "falls asleep". "Oh God please take pity on my unholy act and grant me release, please my lord, PLEASE!". Sambo ran to the dining room and took an old set of rosary beads from the cabinet drawer. They were his mothers, she had bought them in the gift shop of the Vatican when her choir took a trip to Rome. They had Holy water enclosed in a bubble of plastic that was attatched to the back of the crucifix. He got on his knees and with one hand holding the evil contraption that was devouring his cock and the other hand holding the rosary beads he began to pray. Now Sambo had not been to church in years and was not known to be even slightly religious or spiritual, but at this point it seemed his only hope of saving his beloved penis without sacrificing his dignity (at least what little of it he had left at this point in his life). "Our Father who art in heaven....Fuck! What was the rest of that Goddam prayer!" Sambo screamed, apparently unaware that he was simultaneously invoking the Lords mercy with prayer and his wrath with blasphemy.

Doris pulled into her drive way while cautiously avoiding the trashcans that Sambo had forgotten to put away. "I'm gonna run in and use the bathroom before I take ya home". June let out another fart, this time it sounded wet. "I gotta go too, I think that buffet is givin me tha runs".

Sambo was on his knees in the dining room sobbing hysterically when he heard the front door open. "Shit, shit, shit, Ma's home early!" Sambo got up and sat at the dining room table concealing the "Personal Plumber" under the table. Doris and June walked in the room and turned on the light. "Sambo, you forgot to take in the dam trashcans again". "Sorry Ma, it just slipped my mind". The pain had now subsided and Sambo's cock was completely numb, but the anxiety was too much and Sambo broke down emotionally and again started to sob hysterically. "OOH OH God Ma, Ma I...its...I can't.......OOHH!!" Ma rushed over to Sambo and put her arm around him. "Sambo, Sambo honey wat is it, tell yo ma wats a matter wit ya". Sambo stood up and showed Ma and Aunt June the P.P. that was still gripping his now shriveled, bloodless penis. "Ma it wont come off, help me please Ma, please". Doris was disgusted at the sight of it all, but the motherly instinct took over and she tried to calm Sambo down. "Sambo, Sambo just calm down sweety Ma's gonna take you to the E.R., everythings gonna be alright." Sambo was absolutely hysterical and it was making Ma more upset. All the weeping and moaning disturbed her more than the sight of the device that was devouring Sambo's cock. "Please Sambo, You have to calm down, now lets go get in the car". June was smoking a Salem and staring at the P.P. "Goddam boy, You are one freaky son-of-
a-bitch!". "June!, I'm trying to calm him down now go downstairs and watch T.V. till we get back." Doris took Sambo by the hand and led him out the door.
Doris sped through two red lights and showed no sign of slowing down. The nearest hospital was still another 15 miles away and Sambo was complaining about not having any feeling in his penis. The pain had subsided, but Sambo was beginning to feel nauseous. "Ma, Ma I gotta puke Ma" Sambo mumbled as he began to roll down the car window. Doris was zoning out and her driving was becoming more reckless. She had not even noticed what Sambo had said and made a sharp turn at a high rate of speed. At that moment Sambo was sticking his head out of the window and vomiting profusely. The violent turn jerked Sambo's head back into the car and sent the stream of vomit that was shooting out his mouth straight into Doris face. "AHHHHHH! NO! Sa-Sam-baaaaaaaah!" Doris screamed as her son emptied his stomach into her face. The car spun out of control and rear ended a parked car on the other side of the two lane street.