Restlessness

"Is the music in the strings, or in the hands that pluck them?"

When I first saw this line in the Lost Years of Merlin books (5 book series), I didn't think much of them. But recently I've been rereading these books. Having discovered a certain "restlessness" that I can usually never seem to get rid of, this line had more meaning to me - although I'm not entirely sure why.

Near the end of that book, Merlin has his own answer. He believes that the music lies in both, since it cannot be created without one or the other.

In that way, I believe that two halves of a whole will search each other out. Is this my restlessness? Am I searching for my "half"?

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Emotions. What are they? I don't know; do you? They seem to be a sort of opinion on whatever we feel it toward. Why does it feel good to cry? Isn't crying supposed to be, well, not usual?

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Are we alone? I know I am not; I cannot know everything my own mind is doing all the time. Maybe my unconscious is forming an opinion of my conscious mind? What can happen?
And, are we alone in the universe? Do aliens exist? Is life a fluke, should never have happened?

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Our form of technological advances reminds me of somthing I read from the Magic: the Gathering books. Thran metal literally grows like a plant would, and when a golem was made of Thran metal, it's joints locked up and the golem eventaully exploded. However, a second golem was made, except only small parts of it was Thran metal. The rest was, apparently, regular metal. It evolved, learned, thrived. Eventually became a Planeswalker, one of the few almost-all-powerful beings in the MtG Universe.

Is that how we are? Look at our advances: We don't seem to have many breakthroughs advancing into space, but we do well enough advancing technology inward, just like the Thran metal grew. Are we destroying ourselves?

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Why am I so... "attracted" to cards? What is it with them? Specifically, cards like Magic: the Gathering and Duel Monsters (which is from the Yu-Gi-Oh! anime). The cards with stories behind them. It is like a gateway into another universe. Do I belong there more than I belong here? If not, why do I feel like I do? Maybe the Magic term "multiverse" is truer than the term "universe", maybe I am a planeswalker that has not gained his powers yet? Planeswalkers have no true homes; they travel between universes as easily as normal people breath.

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What is the meaning of life? Is there a meaning, and we are searching for something that does not exist? Is the meaning of life to discover? That fits with the feelings from the Magic cards I get. Is there no meaning to life? That would fit into the theory that life is a fluke, wouldn't it? But, if life WAS a fluke, if DNA did rule us, then where did emotion and points-of-view come from? Wouldn't DNA cause us to simply be biological robots or something? Is the meaning of life to simply see the mystery of existence?

Or is the meaning of life to simply give life meaning?