night before christmas

‘Twas a night before Christmas…



‘Twas a night before Christmas and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring not even a mouse
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that St. Nicholas won’t steal them there

The children were nestled all snug in they’re beds
While pounds of sugarplums fell on they’re heads
And mama in her ‘kerchief and I in my cap
Tired from all this holiday crap

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter
Away to the window I flew and opened the sash
Which came down to snap my neck with a crash

My blood fell on the breast of the new fallen snow
Staining the wall and the objects below
When what to my blood shot eyes should appear
But a crumpling sleigh and eight decrepit reindeer

With a dark old driver, so lively and quick
I knew in that second it must be St. Dick
More rapid than bats his slaves they came
And he foamed and slandered and called them by name

“now Dasher now dancer now Prancer and vixen!
On comet on cupid on Donder and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! Crash into the wall!
Now dash! Away dash away! Dash away all!”

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
We all remember that we must die
So into the wall the beasts they flew
With a sleigh full of curses and St. Dick too

And then in a black gale I heard on the roof
The stiff clamber of each little hoof
As I drew in my bloody head and was turning around
Out came with a poof was Dicks with a bound

He was covered all in sap
That might not have been blood if I didn’t die in a snap
A bundle of bones he had flung on his back
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack


His eyes how they twitched his dimples how marry
If I hadn’t just watched Carrie
His drool fell down from his jaws
He scraped the walls with his dispatching claws

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath
He had a broad face and a little round belly
That shook when he snarled like a bowlful of jelly

He was chubby and plump like demon’s elf
And I shuddered in fear in spite of myself
A stab in the eye and a twist of my head
I was dead

He spoke not a word but went straight to his work
Stealing the stockings then kicking my carcass like a jerk
And laying his finger aside of his nose
And giving a nod up the chimney he rose

He sprang to his sleigh to his team gave a whistle
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle
But I heard him exclaim as my spirit rose out of sight

“Sleep well and don’t make a peep for you will never wake from this nights sleep”