Elastic

I met Betty while we were both still in high school. We flirted a lot back then, telling dirty jokes and sneaking out of our parents’ houses to meet late at night. We spent our entire senor trip to Disney World hand in hand. I gave her a ring the day she turned nineteen. It was a cheap pewter deal I bought at a flea market, but it was the best I could afford at the time. We got a matching set of platinum bands for the wedding, but I never did replace that engagement ring. It became a symbol to her of all my broken promises. When you say it like that, it sounds unforgivable. In reality, I only failed her three times.

The first was when I said I’d give up drinking. I’m a social drinker by nature, and I just couldn’t seem to shake the need to have a few beers when I was out with friends. The second time was when I told her I’d get a better job lined up before I quit working at the bookstore. I never got on well with my boss though, especially when he fired me. The third (and final) time was when I lied to her about the night I spent with Kara. Again, taken out of context, that sounds worse then it really was. Kara was a friend from work who had a crush on me and invited me out one night to a club. We went out; I ended up drinking too much and crashed at her place. Nothing happened between us, I’m certain of that given Kara’s cold indifference to me the following morning. The mistake I made was in telling Betty that I had spent the night at Dan’s place. The truth came out, and I lost her respect. I lost her. She asked for a divorce not long after that.

There are so many details that make up a life, especially one that two separate people share. Betty and I were in love for years, and then we weren’t almost as suddenly. Dan came to see me after he hadn’t heard from me in almost a week. He knew Betty and me since before we knew each other, and was one of the factors that brought us together. I’ve always called him my best friend, and he never disappointed me in that regard. He was a caring man with a tactful approach to sensitive subjects.

“Jesus, Alex. How many bottles is that?” I looked at the end table next to my sofa.

“That one makes eight. Or nine. I don’t remember so well anymore.”

“Well no, you wouldn’t. At this rate, you’ll forget your childhood by nightfall. First thing we do…” Dan grabbed the bottle as I moved towards it, “…is put this away. We’ll call it ten and cut our losses.”

“Loss? What do you think this is all about?” He disappeared into the kitchen, taking my alcohol with him. He continued talking to me though,

“Alex. I know it hurts man, believe me, I do. Remember Lori? She was the hottie I met at Appleby’s after graduation. We dated for almost two months before she dumped me for some skater punk.” He popped back in with two mugs of what looked like coffee.

“I hardly think that compares, man. Betty and I are married for one. For two, we’ve been together a lot longer than two months.”

“Yes, but you do realize that’s my longest running relationship to date. I was in love with that girl.” I couldn’t help but laugh,

“Right.” He offered me one of the mugs. I shook my head, but he shoved it in my hand anyway. “I don’t drink coffee. This is Betty’s. From last month, I think.” He grinned as he took a draw from his own mug.

“Good stuff.” I just stared into the mug for several minutes. We sat there quietly, me not wanting to talk and Dan uncertain of what to say. He was my friend since we were kids. We grew up together, but we never talked about being hurt. I’d only ever been with Betty and he never seemed to care much for the scores of women he dated. The topic of broken hearts never came up.

“Do you think that’s it then?” Dan looked perplexed,

“Do I think what’s it?” I put the coffee mug down on the end table.

“Do you think that’s why she left? Maybe she met someone else?” His expression cleared, and he finished his mug off.

“Look, buddy, you could drive yourself nuts trying to guess what the straw was. The fact is, the camel’s back broke and it won’t be fixed. Not this time.” I stood up, with difficulty, and began yelling at Dan,

“How do you know that?! You can’t possibly know what Betty and I had! You’ve never felt love like that and you never will!” Even as I said it, I knew it was wrong. I give Dan a lot of credit for not walking out right then and there. His face hardened and he said,

“Whatever choices I have made in my life are my own. And this is not about me, Alex. But if it makes you feel better to yell insults at me, then go right ahead.” I sat down hard on the sofa. I felt like a child throwing a tantrum for not getting my way.

“I’m sorry, Dan. I…you know I-“

“Yeah, I know.” He leaned forward and slid the still full mug closer to me. “Drink this. It’ll help take away the ‘jack-ass’.” I complied sheepishly, and sipped the coffee. It was incredibly bitter and tasted worse than it smelled. I drank half the mug down before putting it back on the table.

“I just wish I could understand what went wrong. We had our problems, but everybody does.” Dan made a weak attempt to mask his exasperation with me, but I knew him too well.

“Alex, I told you, you can play the ‘what if’ game forever. It doesn’t make it any easier.”

“Yeah, but-“

“Alex. Friend. Listen to me. I want to share something with you that my dad once told me. It’s kind of like a secret of the universe, only a factory worker from New Jersey came up with it.” I picked up the mug and began to sip the fetid liquid as he spoke. “My dad said:

‘Life is like a rubber band. It can stretch in all kinds of directions, and make all kinds of new and interesting shapes. It can wrap around things, and work together with other stuff to make the world work a little easier. It can even take more abuse than anything has a right to. But it will break eventually, and you can never really tell what’s going to make that rubber band snap. Sometimes it goes for what seems like no reason at all.’

I used to think he meant life literally, but I think he was talking about relationships in general.”

I had finished my coffee while Dan spoke and not even realized it. He took the empty mug from my hand and carried it (and his own) back to the kitchen.

“Didn’t your father make rubber bands for a living?” There was silence from the kitchen for a moment and then,

“Well, yeah…but the advice is still sound.”

“No doubt.” Dan laughed as he came back empty handed,

“I was gonna get you more coffee, but that shit is the nastiest thing I’ve ever tasted.” He sat in the chair opposite me, and laughed long and loud. I even joined in some. “It’s good to see you laugh, Alex. I was worried I’d lost you there. I don’t think ‘mopey Al’ and I would get along very well.”

“Melancholy isn’t your style.” He nodded,

“Not yours, either.” After that, we started talking like the buddies we used to be.
Two hours passed like they were unnoticed seconds. All too soon, Dan had to leave. While he was there, talking to me, I felt something akin to satisfaction, or even acceptance. As he stood to go, I felt the same nagging question that he’d unconsciously planted in my mind rise to the surface. All my doubts and insecurities fluttered back to the beacon light that was my abandonment.

“Dan.”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think she’s seeing someone else?” The smile on his face faded a few degrees and he looked away for a second, towards the door. It was then that I realized he never answered my question when I posed it before. He was hiding something from me. He knew. He knew it all. Why she left, where she had gone, who she was with…everything.

“Alex, I think-“ I put my hand up, silencing him. Or maybe the look in my eyes shut his mouth.

“Is…is she happy?” He considered lying to me for a only a second, I saw the idea flicker across his countenance. He and I had never lied to each other, not once in over fifteen years. He didn’t start that day, thankfully.

“I believe she is.” I felt relieved by his words, which was not the emotion I was expecting, in the least. Dan walked to the door and put his hand on the knob. He paused, and added, “Live your life for you, Alex. Not for her. Not for anybody else. Just try to be happy.”

For the first time in my life, I knew what it felt like to be alone. But, at the same time, I wasn’t alone. There were friends and family, and work, and even my own thoughts to occupy me. More than all else, there was the future stretched out before me.

I understood an absolute truth in that moment, a secret of the universe, if you will. I am elastic. I will bounce back from this.