Darkness to Light Fading to Black

Brought out of darkness or so I thought.
Is it all an illusion?
Is it just a game?
So confident in the Way
Thinking I was right.
Original sin
I am my own god
Where have you been?
Have I always been cut off?
Inundated with religion
Inundated with responsibility
Breathe, let me breathe
Others are leeching
One was your shepherd
Looking back nothing but a wolf
Am I just chattel?
Cancer to be cut off?
Life bringer?
My raw desires
I want to be satisfied now
I need to keep them in check
A lamb sent to the slaughter?
Maybe not the same price but it is all I have.
You ask for soul suicide I gave it
I gave it all, the best I could give
I need to live
I want to live
I only have half my life at best
Are you really there
More I think not
Will debate it with anyone
Still willing to be wrong
What is the plan?
What is the goal?
I need to make my own
Life is way to short
Way to cruel
Got to get out
Must move on
Confront the demons and the lies
I hope I see the wolves in Hell
If not, if grace is real?
If so, can I just fade to black?