Happy the Magical Golden Retriever

Orginal Text written By Happy the Golden Retriever

         woof woof woof, bark bark, yipe!

         Excuse me, sorry. I forgot that most of you don't speak Dog. Let me start over...

         I was born in a kennel in Nappanee Indiana. I was born the youngest until my mom had four more puppies and then I was the middle child. I was a good looking dog, even in my younger years. I don't remember my dad, he had a couple of families and never really hung out much with us. Most of my life for the first two months consisted of breakfast, lunch and dinner, sleeping, being licked by my mom and playing with my brothers and sisters. Oh and there was the occassional shot. I hate ShotS!
         My life wasn't real important till one day a man came to our apartment. I'd never really paid much attention to humans. Mostly they brought the food and cleaned up the poo. This man intrigued me though. He smelled nice, and didn't seem to be too mean so I ran up to him as fast as I could. FOr some reason something told me it was fate. He lifted me up and held me in his arms. He had a big fuzzy beard and then someone else was holding me. No beard this time. I think it was a woman. She seemed decent too and once again i got a rush in my heart that told me something was going to happen to day that was going to change my life. Before I could remember what was happening i was being carried away from my house and family. I didnt' really care much, it was crowded.
         AH! Fresh air! I'd never breathed in fresh air, but I'd always heard that it was quite lovely, and it was. There was a shiny metal thing we were walking to. And then I was inside. Can you believe it! I was inside one of the mysterious metal things. Rumors circled the apartments about fast objects that even though you ran as hard as you could, you couldn't catch it.
         Sniff sniff sniff... what was that...? Everything smelled nice so I decided to go investigating. The woman had now sat down in the metal thingy and i realized that I was inside. And then...there she was. I didn't know it at the time but my soon to be best friend was in the car. I sat on a something soft and then felt someone holding me. It was a little girl. I sat there for a while until i realized that there were 2 little girls that were petting me.
         "Ewww he peed on me. Eww get him off me." At the time I had no recolection of what was said, but now that I looked back on it i still wonder: who peed on that girl? It was really rude to pee on someone. Any ways...I was being picked up and placed on someone else's lap. I liked this lap much better. It was softer. I think it was because the little girl before was so skinny and bony; this girl was chubby and provided better comfort. I fell asleep only to be rewoken by the metal stopping. I was pulled out into a large building in which I was later to learn was a garage. Next thing i remember i was being put into water....