An Eternal Moment

“Come on, come on, come on!” her voice pleaded, trying to coax the elevator to speed up. She hated its pondering, predetermined speed, acting as though it were rising with an imperial determination to thwart the mindless rush of the masses.
“Just once I wish they would put accelerator buttons on these things.” Her voice bounced off the walls with no effect. Its regal assent was impervious to her wailings of self-proclaimed importance.

The nurse’s irritation was stirred by the prompting of a phone call that had woken her up earlier than normal. The patient she was caring for was not expected to make it through the night. She tapped her foot as she suffered through her exile from the rest of the world. The waiting allowed her thoughts to drift back to the night before.

She had gotten a call from her son. It wasn’t one of those calls that parents look forward to getting. He was in trouble again. “How many times has it been now?” She wondered, “Why can’t he just get his act together! I am so tired of all the stupid excuses. I swear if I could, I’d ring his neck. They had not gotten along very well since he began high school. Why did she have to deal with all the crap? “I’m sick of it!” she thought, her anger heating up just thinking about all his selfish antics. “I’ve got to do something; send him to Grams, or a boarding school, I don’t know. I just want it to stop!” She pictured a quiet, uninterrupted life without him. The thought pleased her.

The elevator stopped and she stepped out as the door opened. Her mind was on work now. She was worried the woman would die before she got there. Instinctively she quickened her pace as she walked down the hall and stepped in the room. The night shift nurse was there with the chaplain.

“Glad you got here. I don’t think it will be much longer. I have her on morphine. She had been struggling to breath.” The nurse explained.

“Hi Mary” the chaplain greeted her. “Good of you to come. You have done so much to help this woman through these last days. I know that some how it has made a difference.” She wasn’t as confident with that idea as the chaplain seemed to be. The night nurse stepped out of the room.

There in the silence Mary, the chaplain, and this dying soul, shared a last breath together. She stood quietly as the chaplain spoke, “Into your hands, O God, we commend your beloved child...receive her into the arms of your mercy and into the glorious company of the saints and the whole family of God.”

“Family”, she thought. “What family?” The word struck her hard. “A lot of good family did her!”

The woman had been admitted to the hospital three weeks ago. The paper boy, collecting for the month, noticed she was lying on the floor of her living room and called the police. There had been no visitors, no friends, family, or saints. It seemed no one knew she even existed until a phone call a week after she arrived.
Mary was working that morning when it rang. Steven called her over. She picked up the phone hoping to get some information and relieved that the woman was not alone after all.

“Hello? I am Mary Sullivan can I help you?”

“Yeah, someone told me my sister was in your hospital. She was brought in about a week ago. Lived over on North 23rd?” The voice was low and flat, sounding more annoyed than concerned, like he was calling the pound for his wayward dog that had run off again.

“Yes, I am so glad you called I have..,”

“What’s wrong with her?” he interrupted.

“Well, a number of things. It looks as though most of her major systems are failing due to exposure and dehydration. I would…”

“She gon’a make it?” he asked impatiently.

“It doesn’t look good. She has been unconscious since they brought her in and she isn’t responding to treatment. You really should come as soon as possible. Are there…”

“Come down to the hospital you mean? Nah, she ain’t awake is she? What good would that do? Beside I can’t?” he said with an abrupt stop.
“Oh, well, if you are not able, could you call the rest of your family. I am sure they would want to be with her now.”

“No I don’t think that would be a good idea.” He said.

“What?” she asked, not sure what he meant.

“Yeah, we don’t talk to her.”

“I don’t understand. She is close to dying.
Don’t you think you should be with her now?”

“Well, it hard to explain but, well, she married a guy, you know, the old man didn’t approve of it. She was always hard headed. Think he just had enough of her. He warned her!”

“What?” she couldn't follow his rambling.

“Yeah, the old man shunned her. As far as he was concerned she was died. And he told the rest of us kids if he even thought we were in contact with her we would be died to him too. He would kick us out of the house, the family, and his will, everything.” He sounded so matter of fact, as though this all made perfect sense to him.

“Was this recently?” she inquired.

“Uh no it was about 30 plus years ago I think. Yeah, believe she had just turned 20.”

“You haven’t talked to your sister in 30 years!”

“No! Like I said dad…!”

“Is her husband still around? Can you let him know?” She was hoping there was someone who could help her make sense of all of this.

“No, he died. They had been married about a year when he got called up for Viet Nam and never came back. Killed I think.”

“So didn’t your father let her back into the house?”

“No he wouldn’t allow it. He wasn’t going to put up with her disrespect any more!”

“But she is about to die. Don’t you want to be with her?”

“Well, can’t risk it. Dad is still alive, and there is the will thing. He still means it!”

“You are not coming down to see your sister because you are afraid your father might cut you out of his will!” She was astonished that he was so willing to just cast her aside. “Look, you need to get down here right now! Your sister is dying. Tell your father and get down here!”

“Hey, she never done nothin’ for me. I am not goin’a give it all up now” he protested.

She slammed the phone down. She couldn’t hear any more of that nonsense!

“Unbelievable!” she raised her voice to the room. She stomped back to where the woman was receiving treatments. “How can people be so God damm cold and thoughtless! What a selfish, ignorant fool! It’s just sickening! It seems so cruel for him to not care enough to be with his sister in these last moments.”
She gazed at the woman and felt tears welling in her eyes. This poor woman, how long had she been alone? How could have they have cut her off from all that she loved? There wasn't a soul on the face of the earth that recognized her. She was incognito to the universe. The thought caused a cold, brittle feeling to lodge in her heart. After the phone call she made it a point to spend more time with the woman. The next few weeks Mary did everything she could to take care of her. She just couldn’t live with the thought of letting this person be neglected any longer.

“Amen” the chaplain finished his prayer.

“Family!” she was still fixed on the words of the chaplain. They stuck to her, like an irritating burr or fox tail. Reunited with the saints, her loved ones, how could that be? How could they greet each other after a life time of neglect? The thought sickened her. She imagined the meeting in her mind, picturing a gasp, at the sight of this woman showing up; crashing their eternal party. How could they deny the shame, the disgust, and the horror of realizing how selfish and cruel they had been? How could this one, abandoned for a lifetime, forgive give them! Or why should she for that matter. The image seemed more like hell to her.

“You are the Presence of God, Mary!” the chaplain said with calm, reassuring sound to his voice, as he left the room.
“What?” the nurse asked rather surprised, throwing a curious look toward the chaplain.
"What’s that crazy chaplain talking about now?” she wondered to herself. She watched him leave but kept her curiosity at bay. She didn't want to go there.

She finished removing the tubes and adjusted the body to a restful position. As her arm reached across Mary touched the cold lifeless hand. She held it for a moment. “When was the last time it was filled with another warm, loving hand?" She wondered. "What was it like to loose the one she had loved enough to leave her family? Did she ever clasp the hand of an other who loved her as much, who made her feel important, thrilled, passionate…alive?” She laid the hand down gently and carefully tucked the sheet in tightly that was covering the body.

“Hello Mary.” She looked up, startled but not afraid.

“Of course you don’t know me. We didn’t really met and well,” she stopped and chuckled, “when we were together it wasn’t my best moment.”

Mary gazed intensely at the person in the room feeling a connection more than remembering one. She knew some how this was not a phantom, or ghost. This person had substance but was more than just flesh. She seemed more like a pure idea. Something that was undeniable, a universal truth incarnated.

“I was right here in this same room. You were with me, just you.”

Mary thought she was feeling the voice more than hearing it. The sound wasn’t in her ears. It was more in her heart. No, her soul, but deeper some how. This was speaking to her very essence. She felt like this was something that could alter her very being.

The person moved toward the bed. Something about it was comforting. She didn’t understand why, but Mary wanted this presence as close to her as possible.

“You were with me in that final moment. I felt your touch. I heard your voice telling me I was not alone. Your care, attention, presence, Mary, it all felt like love to me as I laid there; as you were holding my hand!”

“But that was just a moment. I am not even sure why I did it. I didn’t even know you. How could it have made such a difference?”

“Nothing is more degrading than to be treated like you don’t exist. It kills you long before your heart stops. Or, in my case, I think it was a stroke.” She grinned.

“You gave me dignity, Mary. You filled my last moments with the feeling that my whole life was worthwhile. That feeling took me back to the very beginning of creation itself, to the first pronouncement that all was good. I heard it for the first time, “You are my beloved. I am very pleased with you!”

“Your love lifted an incredible burden from me. I had been alone for many years. There were times when I wanted to die. There were moments when I wanted to cause hurt as much as I had been hurt. You helped me let go of this life and all its pain, its wounds, its bitterness. I was released to find what was really intended for me from the beginning. I was freed, Mary, even to forgive, because being restored to those we love is life itself.”

“So my caring for you at the end of your life helped you find peace and what it meant to love and forgive? Is that what happens at death?”

“Yes, but not just at death. It happens whenever someone chooses to care, to love, to bless with their presence. The pronouncement is heard again in our hearts, “You are good!” just like it was spoken at the beginning of time. We are reminded of that goodness and that it includes all of us!”

The mortician came into the room to remove the body. “Hi Mary, how are you this morning?” he asked
“Uh, good. Yeah, doing alright, I think?” Thoughts were stumbling through her mind as she reached for the curtain. The metal hooks rode along the runner as she pulled it across the room. It made a loud metallic boom when they hit against the end of the track. The silence returned. She let her hand linger holding the curtain. The world seemed to move in slow motion as she sorted through the moment.

"You are the presence of God, Mary. All that God created is good, Mary. You can restore the promise of creation, Mary!” The words were still spinning around. “So this is what the chaplain meant. I wonder…”

“Steven, get me an outside line would you please” she asked as a thought flashed through her mind.

“What’s up?” he asked.

“I got to do something right now!” She dialed the number and the phone on the other end rang a few times. “Hello” a voice sounded over the line.

“Jonathan? This is mom...I know...We’ll talk. Meet me at the coffee shop and we’ll have lunch. Ok? Good. Oh,” she paused just a moment, “I love you son. Bye.”
She hurried out of the hospital. She was heading to that place where the life she had always imagined would come true. She knew how to get there.