My Misery

Here I am,
sitting in my bedroom,
alone once again.
Thinking of all that has been done,
remembering all that we have said.
Realizing how gullible and stupid I was,
to have ever believed your lies.
Drowning in a vast ocean of hate.
with only the desire of ending this torture.
As I feel cold steel against my wrist,
I regret the promise I made you.
Knowing it never mattered and you never cared.

So here I am,
alone like always.
Remembering all your lies,
wallowing in self-disgust.
Lying on the bed,
all the pain flowing out from me.
Seeing nothing but your face,
as my eyesight blurs.
Recalling the taste of your lips,
now knowing it was never real.
Remembering the sound of your voice,
as the ringing in my ears becomes louder.
My one wish, to have never begun to care.
Slowly becoming no more,
soon to be non-existent.

Here I am,
alone and broken.
A prayer for mercy,
the fear of going unheard.
A letter of reason lying by my side.
Born with nothing,
dying with even less.
So here I lay,
dead and gone.
No tears shed,
no memories left behind.
No one who cares.
Cursing you,
Loathing you...

Loving you...