CONVERTABLE

It started with the car. Abby Durham stopped for Carmel Machado at Starbucks on her way to work. Her car died with a sputter when she sat third in line from the drive up window. She closed her eyes and went limp for just a moment. Then gritting her teeth and pounded her head back on the headrest three times with a sound that resembled a snarl.
Being late for work today was the last thing she needed. Yesterday her new boss put her on a 30-day probation for insubordination. Two months ago she thought she would get the position of branch manager. She had been with the company for 18 years they had recruited her right from college now, at the age of 43; she had the knowledge, the experience and the respect of her co-workers. She met the criteria the company said they wanted for the next manager. So when the head office sent Numb-nuts Ned the 29-year old nephew of the company president to take over the position she earned; her anger was understandable. Then the head of HR told her on the phone he said they knew she had the experience to guide the young man into the position, like she should feel honored to train the guy. Now she could lose her job altogether.
Abby bit her lip and said a silent prayer then turned the key. The engine roared back to life. She breathed a quick sigh of relief. At that moment she noticed the shiny red convertible in front of her. The girl had the top down and the sun touched the blond curls highlighting them even more. She reached out her hand to give the bills to someone inside the window and Abby could see the slender arm tanned to just the right shade. Abby could remember when she had a body like that, 20 years and sixty pounds ago. The car was perfect, exactly what she planned to buy when she got her promotion, back in the days before Ned.
The convertible pulled out and she watched the blond girl go. Envy, bitter and hot, roiled in Abbey’s belly. She made it to the office on time, but just by the skin of her teeth. Numb-nuts didn’t arrive for a good twenty minutes after Abbey. She nodded to him through her window when he came in the door. She put the time alone to good use, moving some files that the manager sent to the head office each week. The thought of the red car and the blond girl rattled about in her head all day. She would catch herself staring off into space wondering about her. Who was she, where did she work, and who bought her the car? By the end of the day she had almost convinced herself should have been hers.

Tessa Sherwood rarely stopped for coffee in the morning, a habit she would change. She sat in the doctor’s office savoring every sip of the mocha with whipped cream. The nurse gave her a look when Tessa hauled the cup back to the examining room but she kept her opinion to herself.
“Good morning Tessa, how are you feeling today?”
Tessa knew her condition did interest him, if for no other reason than the drug trial he ran. “I am doing ok.”
“I thought we talked about the harm milk can do to your mucus level as well as the effects of caffeine on your body.” He resembled her father as he peered over his reading glasses at her.
“Doc, you already told me the drugs have stopped working. I tire more easily, I ache all over and it is getting harder and harder to breathe. My brother went through all of these symptoms two years ago and I was right there with him. I know what is happening to me and frankly I am tired of fighting.” She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. “I am going to eat the things I like, do the things I have always wanted to do and live every day I have left as if it were my last.”
The man looked at her intently through the whole speech. He, more than anyone else, knew the fight she had put up against this disease. “I understand what you’re saying and believe it or not I agree with you to a point. But no sky diving, or any extreme sports for you.” He patted her arm. “But we have two more weeks on this treatment regimen according to the contract and I think we need to complete it my dear.”
Tessa shrugged. He knew just the right buttons to push to make her guilt surface fastest. Four months ago Tessa had graduated from college; the strains of Pomp and Circumstance still rang in her head, but she hadn’t found a job yet. Right now it looked more and more like work would not be a part of her life, just as children, a husband and many other things women took for granted when they were little girls. She agreed to finish the study but she made the fact clear that she expected to enjoy small treats along the way. The doctor reluctantly agreed to the bargain before she left his office.
The car had been a graduation gift from her parents. Tessa smiled wistfully as she thought about the two people that raised her. The strain of having two sick children could have pulled them apart but in their case it had the opposite effect. They drew strength from each other as their children grew. When Sam died two years ago it had been devastating for all of them, but Tessa suddenly had to face her own mortality in a way she had avoided. The six-month drug trial she signed up for had helped for a while but the effects were dwindling. She drove the sporty little convertible to the apartment she had rented 4 years ago because it was close to the school. It was tiny but it was home.

A couple of days later Abbey saw the red convertible again when driving home after a horrendous day at work. After a meeting with Numb-nuts she called the head of HR to tell him that this arraignment could not work out, the company would lose money. “Bob, it’s Abbey Durham.” She rolled her eyes at the ceiling as he paused. “I am calling about Ned, I realize he is John Baker’s nephew, but the boy isn’t dry behind the ears. We are literally bleeding red ink all over the place.”
He barely listened to her, “Abbey I understand this isn’t what you expected but we have to have some patience with the situation. We honestly felt you would be enough of a team player to give him a chance. Your own future is tied up in how well you guide him into his position. But if you can’t work with him we will reluctantly accept your resignation.” It was said flatly with no anger or emotion of any kind.
“No, I can work with him Bob I just wanted you to know it would be an up hill battle.” Abbey hung up the phone, and wrapped her arms around herself. She felt cold all over. This job was her life, she put off marriage and a family to work, and she didn’t deserve this treatment.
She fussed and fumed all afternoon about nepotism and its effects in the office. She couldn’t keep her mind on work. They would miss her more than they knew. She vowed to write up a resume when she got home. Before leaving the office she tapped into the cash-flow sheets and found the next bad news. They were improving. She stared at the numbers and the graphs in disbelief. The innovations Numb-nuts started, worked, who could have known. This was just a momentary blip, she told herself, and there was no way it could continue. She consoled herself by altering the numbers in the computer making the outcome negative not positive. There was no way it could be traced back to her and it would be a spot of tarnish on the golden boy’s shining armor.
Abbey pulled from the parking lot and there she was, the blond in the beautiful little car. For the first time Abbey saw her face, delicate with an up turned nose. The soft tan contrasted nicely with the light blond curls. She was wearing a scoop neck dark blue top with a small necklace that lay perfectly in the middle of her chest. Abbey gritted her teeth why was it that youth had everything and after all her life of working she had so little. The little red convertible and the pretty blond girl began to grow in her mind finding little empty corners to take root, like blackberry bushes along side the road they squeezed every other idea out of her mind.
The obsession gave her less time to plot revenge against her boss. This fact alone gave her a better chance of staying in her position. She spent her time wondering about the blond in the red convertible instead of sabotaging her manager. She pictured her day in her perfect car with her perfect life. Maybe a rich boyfriend, visioning long walks in the park or dancing under the stars to a mariachi band, with champagne and Brie on water crackers. Abbey’s mind held on to the lovely fantasy as she made her calls and drifted through the day.

Whole days passed now when Tessa found she was too weak to leave the house. The phone rang one morning. “Hi Honey. How are you feeling?” Her mother was a land mine Tessa knew to avoid.
“I am great Mom. How are you and Daddy?” She made herself smile and stand in hopes the energy would flow through the phone. “Did you do well in the club tournament?”
“Well yes Darling, your father was brilliant as always.” Her mother went on to tell Tessa a blow-by-blow description of the golf game they played over the weekend. It was fine with Tessa she could save her energy for the deception. To let Mom know how she felt was asking for a whole entourage to descend. She would bring her latest fashionable doctor or Reiki master would be there in two hours with her mother directing traffic with the ferocious energy of the mother lion. Twice a week she made it to the doctor with a regularity that spoke of hope when the rest of the time she accepted the hopelessness of the situation. Waking each morning she prayed for a miracle from whichever god or goddess might hear her.

Abbey’s obsession, begun so quietly and innocently, took over her mind and her life.
She cut her hair to resemble the blond mop of the young woman stopping short of the blond dye that she contemplated. The colorist said her it would probably turn orange with the bleach job. She smiled more often at work, Numb-nuts smiled back at her. She held her dislike for him as her secret, it was no longer important.
Thursday on the way from home she saw the red convertible again. This time she followed it through the streets lined with trees. Only eight blocks from the Starbucks the blond girl pulled over to the curb. She grabbed a sweater from the back seat and ran into the duplex. She left the top down on the car the girl struggled to pull a tarp over to cover it from the elements. Abbey nodded secretly pleased that the girl was taking such good care of her car.
The obsession with the girl and her life became more pronounced at work on Friday when the reports were turned into the manager. Abbey didn’t have her report ready for the first time in 18 years. Numb-nuts called her into his office about 2:00 pm.
“Abbey I thought we were past all the negative behavior.”
She blinked at him for a moment, confused. She smiled at him and she was nice to him what more did he want. She hung her head a bit then gave him the reply “I did too, Ned. It was just a slip on my part.” Hoping he would tell her what she missed.
His smile showed his relief, after all his uncle really liked this dingy old bat. “Okay, just get me the report Monday morning and everything will be just fine. You know how they are about reports.” His pat on her shoulder was a bit too condescending, and his voice a touch too hearty to convey any real reassurance.
Abbey kept a running dialogue with herself in her head. Reports I’ll give him reports. She doesn’t have to do reports; she just spends her days telling everyone else what to do. Within thirty minute she finished compiling the report from the figures in the computer and printed it out. In her mind she knew, if she were the blond she wouldn’t be doing this. She would be planning her trip to Paris in the spring with one of her lovers. Did she love men, or women Abbey needed to know.

Tessa looked at the paper she had printed from her computer. It was final instructions on her funeral. She wanted cremation with her ashes scattered over the ocean. The thought of being buried seemed so confining she wanted to soar one last time. The music posed a bit of a problem, she wanted a song by Enya played, but Mom would object. May It Be; Tessa’s favorite had been featured inn Fellowship of the Rings. Mom wouldn’t like to have a movie song played at Tessa’s memorial. She tensed for a moment then smiled, she wouldn’t have to be there for the argument with her mother, and included the song in her plans.

Abbey knew the blond had taken the life she should have. The idea came upon her one morning when she woke, the first thing that popped into her head when she opened her eyes. Somehow the world had become confused and she needed to set it right. Correcting the problem obsessed her dominating her waking hours. How could she change the terrible error that had befallen her? She began to research the possibilities at the local library; reading the arcane knowledge in many of the books long forgotten by most scholars. She took hours to decipher the old books they were often hand written in small crabbed print.
The job began to weigh on her shoulders heavily like a winter coat that she no longer needed in the warmth of summer. Abbey checked her accounts at the bank, $12,000 in savings and $3,271 in checking and there was at least $112,000 in her 401K at work. She could quit and devote more time to the research she needed to complete. For a few seconds she panicked at the thought of leaving the only job she had ever known. But after a brief moment, she remembered how they treated her so badly over this promotion thing. She didn’t want to be where she wasn’t wanted. Numb-nuts looked astonished to see her letter of resignation only a week after he lifted the 30-day probation.
“Abbey, old girl, you surely didn’t mean this,” he held the letter in his left hand. His young face creased with a frown.
Abbey took the letter from his hand and read it over. “Yes I certainly did. It is time for me to move on to something else.” With that statement she began to pack a box taking her belongings from the desk.
He stood for a moment beside her desk at a loss as to what he should do next. Finally he said with a rather lame pat on her shoulder. “We hate to see you go. If you change your mind you know there will always be a place for you.”

The Starbucks coffee Tessa bought on her way to the doctor’s office had become her only solace as her physical endurance dwindled. On Thursday the doctor’s office closed this week but she went for her coffee anyway, because the guy was gone didn’t mean she couldn’t have mocha. Arriving back at home she sat down on the couch with her coffee and put up her feet on the coffee table. She could enjoy the quiet of her little house and the rich chocolate flavored drink with extra whipped cream on the top.
The doorbell rang. Its crisp tones so seldom heard she almost expected them to come with the frogs-throat of someone who just awoke. When it rang the second time Tessa stood up and went to answer it.
“Good afternoon. I am Abbey Durham I am doing a survey for Kizen Radio. Do you have a moment?” The short heavy woman with dark hair stood looking at Tessa with an odd expression.
“No, I’m in the middle of something.” Tessa licked her lips to make sure no tale tale whipped cream mustache marked them.
“We are giving a free Starbucks card for each person who completes the survey.” The woman smiled at her. “It is a twenty five dollar card.” She waved it enticingly.
“Well, I guess it’s ok,” Tessa moved out of the way to let the woman into her house.
“I haven’t had the time to do any dusting for a while,” she began apologetically.
Abbey waved her hand, “Don’t you worry. My house looks like a boy scout troop has been living there.” She sat down on the edge of the couch leaving the armchair for Tessa. “Now lets get started. Your name is?” She filled answers to the ten questions she had put on the questionnaire in a matter of two minutes. “Would you mind if I used your bathroom Tessa? I have been out in the neighborhood for several hours and I am beginning to feel it.”
Tessa laughed at the comical expression on Abbey’s face. “Go right ahead, I know exactly what you mean.”
Once in the bathroom Abbey began to search for the hairbrush. She found it in the middle drawer of the vanity and carefully pulled a nice tuft of hair from it before stowing it back in the same spot she found it. She stashed it in the plastic baggie she carried in her pocket for this purpose. Quickly flushing the toiled and washing her hands she smoothed her hair and smiled at the reflection in the mirror. There was a brief thought of looking in the medicine cabinet but she decided she didn’t have the time. She stepped back to the door and left the room.
“Well, Ms. Sherwood that is all I needed. You have a nice day.”
Tessa walked the woman to the door in her house chatting lightly about the weather and how the recent heat had destroyed the lawns around town. After she was gone Tessa sat back on the couch and put her feet back up. Her coffee was only lukewarm now but it still tasted good. She thought very briefly about what a nice person Abbey had been. Before she finished her drink she had fallen to sleep.

Abbey rushed back to her house. Once she had prided herself on her home; she had spent hours making decorating choices. When she found the perfect pieces she made sure everything stayed in its place neatly. Dust didn’t stand a chance on her surfaces, but in the last few weeks the polished surfaces had become coated with dust. Dishes stood in the sink and there was something that had become rather smelly in the garbage below the sink. She didn’t have time for the niceties right now; when she corrected the terrible mistake done to her she would have that nice little duplex to fix up.
According to the spell she found the hair was the last ingredient. She gathered the rest of her tools to make the spell work, now she only had to wait for the sun to go down. The spell was to be begun one half hour after sundown and completed at the first stroke of midnight. She sat to read the words of the incantation for the fiftieth time, committing the words to memory.

Tessa woke in the twilight to stumble into her bedroom. She pulled on the soft blue nightgown that she had laid across the foot of the bed early in the morning. “I am so tired of this if I can’t feel better just let it be over.” She spoke aloud letting the words drift out to whom ever might hear them. Then she climbed into the bed and fell quickly back to sleep.

Abbey used a razor blade to nick her finger allowing the blood to drop into the concoction she had mixed in a small bowl. All the while she muttered the words from the book. They were in a language she had never heard and she hoped she was getting them right as she stirred the concoction as the book instructed. At the stroke of midnight she blew out the candles and tipped up the potion to drink it.

Tessa woke refreshed for the first time in as long as she could remember. She stretched her arms above her head feeling a sense of well-being. She inhaled deeply feeling the lovely effect of air that rushed into the lungs that had never worked as nature intended. The room was still darkened as if the sun hadn’t risen completely. Maybe I should have been getting up early all of the time was her first thought. With a sensation like an electric shock she realized she wasn’t in her little room at the duplex. Much larger than her room this room contained more space and more furniture. She stood in the middle of the empty spot at the end of the bed and turned around. Painted a soft sage green the walls had a soothing effect, she turned toward the dress and saw the woman who came to her house yesterday. Tessa moved toward her and realized it was her reflection in the mirror. She touched her face, the tiny wrinkles at the corner of her eyes, and ran her hand down over her belly which had always been flat almost concave from the malnutrition caused by Cystic Fibrosis. Now it was too round, she stared in disbelief at the pudgy body that she occupied.
On the dresser propped in front of the mirror was an envelope addressed to her.
DEAR TESSA
I KNOW THIS HAS BEEN CONFUSING FOR YOU BUT YOU HAVE BEEN
LIVING THE LIFE THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN MINE. SINCE YOU ARE
READING THIS NOTE I HAVE SUCCESSFULLY SWITCHED US BACK AND
CORRECTED THE SITUATION.

YOU ARE NOW 43 YEARS OLD; YOUR NAME IS ABBEY DURHAM. ALL OF
THE PAPERS YOU WILL NEED ARE IN THE TOP DRAWER OF THE DESK IN
THE OFFICE. GOOD LUCK.

TESSA SHERWOOD.

Abbey woke slowly in the small room eight blocks away. Her breath caught in her throat as she tried to inhale, she felt as if there wasn’t enough air in the room to fill her lungs. She staggered to the bathroom for a glass of water hoping it would ease her chest. She looked in the mirror at the delicate face that was now hers. A bottle of pills on the counter caught her eye and she looked at the name of the drug. It was totally unfamiliar to her. Taking the bottle to the phone she called the Doctor’s office on the label. The nurse expressed concern over her mental confusion especially the part about not knowing she had cystic fibrosis. They were sending an ambulance for her. She sat in the chair her each breath taken with more difficulty until the bottle slipped from her grasp and slid slowly to the floor. The last thing she heard was a siren off in the distance and she knew they wouldn’t make it in time.