How do we choose to remember those we've lost? Originally written for the 2004 SLAM. |
The last time I saw him: hair forcing into the hazy sky like jade stalagmites. Eyes flashing, vagrant's arms dancing with the air, a Broadway king or a police chase. His ebony sculpted self strode and strutted, thrusting himself deep into the words of the world. He'd paced the street divide telling summer tourists of tempests at sea. Squeezing the essence of angst, pulling teenagers from their MP3s. Reminding brothers to watch their back but to trust their women. Old and new they watched him the imp or the African Oberon. A magic moment in the midday rush. Encounters brief but never empty always a story or a lesson to take away with me to my next stop a new song to check out, one of his Mom, now gone, taking him to Stratford when he was just three. I'd given him my number, just in case he needed - anything, but knowing it was for me, my urge to mark him, to tag this majestic endangered man-child. He was alive, vital, vicious, loved and loving to be free. Soaring and twisting, an asphalt hawk, unaware of the chasm, a sharp pointed death below. The light turned green yet they all paused and he spread his arms, arched his back and laughed in victory or in sublimation. He'd nearly choked on that burning glee. The last time . . . That's wrong, though. He was beautiful but not that time, not the last time. The last time I saw Tello: Arm still clutched to his chest as if he'd hoped that his spirit would sear out the pain. Needing a mother, a friend, someone to give him more or someone to make it end, needing to call my number still on his skin, just in case he needed - anything, mockingly underlined by fresh track marks on his precious, infected three day old flesh. |