Fears And Tears

         My two year old son was crying rivers of tears and I sighed in relief. Who knew I could be so cruel?

         My wife lay next to me and I could hear her soft snoring over the sounds of the air conditioner humming and the music from my son's room playing over the baby monitor. I was slowly drifting into a peaceful sleep when I heard a loud, but soft, thud. The kind only a small body could make.

         Even from a state of sleep I'm not prone to panic, but what stopped my heart was I heard the thud in stereo. The sound came from outside my bedroom, the direction of my son's room, and also came from the baby monitor. It was loud enough to wake up my wife.

         As she was sitting up I was already moving. Thoughts of how far the phone was and how quickly I could dial 911 went streaming through my mind. Just as I was exiting my room another sound pierced the night and it stopped me in my tracks.

         Like so many other parents, my son is my whole world. The first time I saw him bleed I panicked and my wife had to take over. I remember my heart literally stopping as I watched my wife step through a rotten porch plank while carrying him, only to start again when he simply looked up at us in surprise. When he cried, all I wanted to do was make it stop, not because it got on my nerves, but because I felt it was my job to make his pains go away.

         On this night, as I froze mid-stride, his wails began to echo off the walls. I knew all of his cries and this was his scared cry. Instantly I knew he was all right and just frightened. Relief flooded through me and my own tears flowed through my smile. I proceeded to his room.

         My two year old son had tried to climb out of his crib and naturally had no idea how long a drop it was on the other side. He scared himself silly, and me as well, but he was completely uninjured. When my son was born my wife began sobbing and later explained it was because he came out crying so she knew he was all right. It took over two years, but at last, I knew what she felt because my two year old son cried rivers of tears and I sighed in relief.


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