Remembrance

I remember her. I remember her, not as she is, but as she was-what she was. So...so different from what is lying quietly before me.

I remember her hair, a chestnut golden-brown. I remember running my hands through her thick locks; I remember how they shone, a vibrant spectrum of red and gold, reflective in the sun.

I remember her laugh, her smile as it lit up her face, illuminating as it brought happiness to my own. I remember her skin, her soft creamy skin; her fingers, her touch warm on my face, comfortable in my hands.

Her voice so light, humorous and cheerful; the way she looked when she cried tears of joy...the way she looked when she cried out in pain.

I remember.

I remember feeling her next to me; I remember knowing it was right and that we were okay. The shivers that traversed my spine as her gentle breath caressed my neck and later, when her lips would meet mine- the tenderness I felt in my soul, the completeness she brought me.

I remember.

I remember the comfort she gave me, the reassurances she shared. I remember telling me she was alright. I remember her good bye.

I see her now. But what's here- it can't exist. Her hair is limp and faded now, pale and bleak in the subdued light. I see now, her mouth a thin faint line, her face emotionless, resonating nothing but a cold emptiness.

I see her now, her skin so gray, so perfectly still; her fingers are ice, and as I reach out to touch them, I realize that they do not respond. Her voice is not here with me, there is no sound; her cheeks are dry- there are no tears.

I see her.

And I know.

I know I'll never hold her again, never feel her by my side. I know things will never be okay again. I know my heart is splintered, shattered now and she can't make the hurt stop. I know I'll never be myself again-half of me, the better half, is gone.

I know I can't bring her back, and this tears at me inside, ravaging me to the core. I would've given my life for her...but now I'll never have the chance.

Death has claimed her now, my love, my life, my soul. But I remember her, her warm brown eyes I could get lost in are now lost forever, hidden behind the curtains of death.

I know I'll never see them again, much like I'll never see her.

But I can remember her and cherish her. I know.

I know.

I know.