Why I Want to Be a Writer

I want to be a writer because I think it would be a good job to have. You can go to work in your pajamas if you want to and you can eat at your desk all day long. If you get caught watching TV while you’re supposed to be working you can call it “research” and you won’t get in trouble. Come to think of it, you can do lots of things that are “research”. Going cool places, buying magazines you’re not supposed to buy, being rude/cranky/super sweet/just plain weird to strangers (or even people you know), breaking laws, as long as they’re only small ones like trespassing. Writers also get to drink while they’re working. Except for priests, they’re the only ones that can do that. Some writers even got famous and wrote better when they were drinking. I bet not many priests can say that!

If you’re a writer you can tell stories about people you know and they won’t get mad at you. It makes them sort of famous, that’s if anyone reads your book. And if no one reads your book at least the people you wrote about will buy it so they can show their friends. Writers need royalties, and I don't mean Prince William, who is totally hot. Lots of writers write about him and his family and make lots of money, or royalties, doing it. Royalties from royalties. That is called a pun, something writers are good at, and something that proves you should write about people you know.

If I were a writer I would be an artist and being an artist is cool. Prince is an artist. He’s so much an artist he didn’t even have a name for a while, just a symbol that no one could say. The actors on The O.C. are artists too but they all have names. I don’t know what they are but I’m pretty sure they have them. Also if I were an artist I could get on the cover of People magazine. You have to be a really important artist to get on the cover of People magazine, or else get married lots of times in the same year.

Being a writer would be so wonderful. I could use my imagination to make up stories about things that are interesting to me. You have to be careful when you are a writer though. If you make up things that are dangerous or scary or just freakin' weird and someone really does them, you could get in a lot of trouble. You could get sued or thrown in jail or never be allowed at any of the cool parties again.

Some people think that writing is boring. Not me! I say being a business person is boring. Who wants to spend all their days looking at numbers and going to meetings and only getting one hour for lunch? Some business people get on TV sometimes and that is cool. But usually only a bunch of lawyers get to talk when a business person is on TV and I would want to talk for myself.

Looking around the world today I see lots of great writers that inspire me. Paris Hilton is a writer that inspires me. She wrote a how-to book, which writers call self-help, plus she has the best clothes ever! Jessica Simpson is a writer too, but she is married and sings and has her own TV show, so she’s not just a writer like Paris. Pamela Anderson even wrote a book and she has kids. Which just goes to show you, a woman can really have it all today!

I have shown you why there are lots of good reasons to be a writer. But I have saved the best for last. If I were a writer, my book could be on the Oprah Winfrey show! Then I could meet Oprah and she would say really nice things about me and my book. And everyone would love me because everyone loves Oprah and believes everything she says. And that is why I want to be a writer.