We'll Live Forever

“I’m sorry Sir, but she didn’t make it…”


The fake wood of the coffin was cold. My tears were hot, and I was shivering from the contrast. Or maybe it was other things. There was a hand on my shoulder, but I didn’t know who it was, and I didn’t care. I wanted to throw the coffin open and prove that she was still alive, she had to be! I didn’t understand what had happened. No one was telling me anything, and all I could do was cry hot tears on my mother’s already cold grave.


Suddenly a hand grabbed the back of my shirt, and pulled me away from my mother. I cried out, and craned my neck to see my father with a carefully hidden blank face staring back at me. I grabbed my knees and curled into a fetal position, refusing to go with him, and forcing him to bend down.


“Come on you brat! Don’t make a scene!” He hissed quietly. I forced myself not to shudder at his voice, and got up reluctantly, and followed him out of the church. “Don’t you dare make a scene like that again!” I didn’t respond, as we got into the car, not trusting my reply. I wanted to yell, cry, hit him, for doing all of this, but I kept my mouth shut, not even looking at him. I could feel his smoldering black eyes burning into me, and after a minute I finally looked at him. The next thing I knew, he had grabbed my chin in a bruising grasp, and pulled me so close, that the emergency brake was digging into my stomach.


“Listen you little brat! You will listen to me, and you will speak when spoken to! You understand?” I didn’t say anything, and he jerked me closer. “Answer me!” I nodded, and he finally let me go. He smiled at me, and I didn’t like it, “and you better too, you don’t want to end up like your mother do you?” I shook my head wildly and didn’t look at him until we got home.


“We’ll find out who murdered her as soon as possible honey. I promise.”


~7 years later~


I watched from afar as she plucked the last petal from the rose. I sighed quietly as she stopped to stare at the petal in her hand, before holding her hand out, and I watched as she let the wind gently carry it away. Humming some random tune under her breath, she laid down the stalk, and picked up another, still in full bloom, from the pile that lay next to her. I sighed again, louder this time, and shifted my position from where I stood. I watched as she went to pick another petal, but stop her hand in mid-air. She turned, and I could see her forest green eyes shine as she saw me. She got up from her sitting position, picked up the rest of the roses, and started walking over to me. I stopped breathing.


Did she know the roses were from me? Was that why she was picking them apart? I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. She hated me! But she just smiled shyly, while gently grabbing my hands and putting the roses in them. I looked at her in confusion, but her smile only grew bigger. She hugged me, and I could feel her lips near my ear.


“Thank you,” and she kissed my cheek. I could only watch in disbelief as she turned and started to walk away. I couldn’t stand it.


“Jenny!…Wait!” I yelled, Jenny paused, then turned back towards me, still smiling. “Why? I gave them to you, why give them back? She looked thoughtful for a minute, then replied.


“You looked like you could use them more then me.” Jenny took a step forward, and rested a hand on my neck. I flinched, absentmindedly lifting my hand, and laying it on top of hers, and the collar of the black turtleneck I was wearing, that covered the purple bruises from the other day. I couldn’t think about this now, I had promised myself to forget. Coming to my senses, I changed the subject.


“Why were you pulling the roses apart?” Jenny’s eyes twinkled, but she said nothing as she lifted her hand off my neck, and brought it back down to her side. We stood facing each other, and I could only try to think of something to say next. I glanced down at the roses still in my hands, and dumbly held them out, offering them back. It was the least I could do. Jenny smiled once again, and took all the roses but one, and walked back to the place she had been sitting. I followed silently, and sat down besides her, wondering all the while, that if she wanted nothing to do with me, why didn’t she just say?


With another smile pointed towards me, she picked up yet another rose and started pulling off the petals one by one, slowly, to let the wind carry it away and out of sight. I could feel the anger welling up inside of me, and I roughly grabbed the rose from her hand, vaguely noticing the thorn that had made a gash in the middle of my palm. I glared, she looked hurt, and I immediately regretted doing what I did. I softened my features, turned away, and handed the rose back to her, avoiding her eyes.


“Sorry,” I mumbled, “I just…” I couldn’t think of a plausible reason for grabbing the flower so roughly. “I just don’t understand why you keep doing that!” I finally looked at her, and saw a trace of understanding on her face. She sighed, and I sighed along with her.


“I’m sorry,” I repeated, and she smiled sadly.


“Don’t worry about it, I understand,” and once again the roses were passed back towards me, but still I refused them. I pushed them back and stood up before I got them again.


“Listen Jenny, if you don’t want the damn flowers, why couldn’t you just say so?” I asked through gritted teeth. Jenny looked surprised.


“No! I want them! I just…” She trailed off, looking away. I sighed and bent down, grabbing her chin, and pulling her face towards mine. She closed her eyes, and mumbled.


“Don’t.”


I gasped quietly, and let go quickly. I mentally slapped myself, and hated myself even more. I was acting like him. I couldn’t do that, not to her, not to anyone. I took a deep breath, and ran a hand through my dark brown hair.


“Is it because you don’t like me? I’ll leave you alone if that’s what you want.” Calming myself, I turned around and started walking away.


“No, wait. I’m sorry! Please wait.” I sighed in relief, and let go of the prayer I had that she would call me back, but I didn’t turn around. “Sarah, wait. Look, I’m sorry, it’s just that I’ve never gotten flowers before. I don’t know what to do.” I smiled a little unsurely, and turned.


“Well most people put them in water.” She smiled, believing the tension had been broken, and my smile grew. “Jenny, please keep the flowers, I really want you to have them, but I gotta go home now.” Jenny got up again, and threw her arms around me, hugging me.


“Thank you,” she said again, and much to my surprise, she kissed me full on the lips. I could do nothing but kiss back, but as a memory surfaced, I flinched, and pulled away. Looked at Jenny, ashamed that I couldn’t even do that right, but she just shook her head, “no it’s alright, I understand. It’s about home right?” I looked down to the lush green grass, and I felt myself nodding.


“Yea,” I said with a sigh. Jenny leaned her head on my shoulder, and hugged me again. I hugged her back, and we stayed like that a moment longer. I caught sight of my watch, and realized I was 20 minutes late. I groaned inwardly, not wanting to pull away but I had too. I gave Jenny another kiss, telling her that I would come visit her tomorrow, and walked over to get my stuff. I waved to Jenny, and started to walk home, happy that finally something good had happened in my life.


When I got home, I was almost and hour late, and not seeing his car in the driveway, was happier then I had been in a long time. I walked in the front door, and was met with an explosion of pain on my right eye. I cried out, and looked at the intruder, and was met with his black eyes.


“You little bitch!” I shrank back as his spit hit my face, and his eyes became more ferocious. “You’re an hour late!” Came the next yell, and I stumbled into the wall behind me, as another punch came my way.


“I’m sorry!” I screamed back at him, “I had an after school project that was due.” I covered my face and turned my head, trying to escape the oncoming punches and kicks. Why was he always like this?


“You’re lying!” Another smack, and that was all I could take. I crumpled to the floor, and watched as my own father, walked out of the house, slamming the door behind him. I struggled to get up, and up the stairs to my room, I collapsed on my bed, and tried not to focus on him, or my rapid, ragged breathing. My thoughts locked on Jenny, and I felt myself smile, despite how I felt. When I thought I could move around without too much pain, I got up and went to the desk in my room, and sat down, grabbing a pencil and some paper, I started to write.


Later that night, I was woken up by a loud thump from downstairs. I knew it was him, and knew he was probably drunk, I refused to go down there. I hoped he would just be so drunk that he would pass out on the living room couch. I forced myself to go back to sleep, and had almost accomplished that, when there was a loud pounding at my door.


“You little slut! Open the damn door!” I stiffened, and was too scared to even move. I lay still, trying to ignore him, but he started banging louder, and soon I heard a crack. When I opened my eyes, a silver glint told me he had a knife. I was terrified, I jumped up as quietly as I could, ran over to my window, and threw it open. I looked around, grabbed what I had written earlier, and made to jump out the window.


“Where the hell do you think you’re going? You stupid bitch, get back here or I’ll kill you just like I killed your mother!” I whimpered, and tried to hurry before he could catch me, but I cried out in pain, as I felt a piercing pain through my back. The world was already hazy, and everything was getting darker. He pushed me out the window, and I felt myself hit the ground. I heard someone scream, and yell for someone to call 911, but I already knew it was too late. I clutched at what I wrote, hoping she would get it, and I felt myself die, my last thoughts on my Jenny.


To My Jenny…

Blood drips from the roses
It flows with the tears
Thorns cut and scar
Reminding me of you
I love you so much
Pulled from you so often
I want to kill for you
Die for you, anything
But love is all I can offer
As well as my tears
And my blood
Your beautiful green eyes
Blood drips from your fingers
Onto me
It seeps through my skin
Warming me
And I know
We’ll live forever…