Lose Yourself

March 17, 1997

Mixed feelings
Constantly
I wish I could read his mind
Fuck Justin. Fuck Tom. Fuck Josh.
All men suck
I am so confused
We hit it off, great
So, what’s he going to do about it?
Just act like nothing happened?
Sure, why not?
He has no idea that it’s hurting me like this
I just want to be loved and when I find someone great,
I still can’t get him
It won’t happen, so why do I get my hopes up?
Why do I tell myself that he could like me enough to want a relationship?
He probably just considered it a one day thing
What’s wrong with me?
I can’t figure out why nobody will have me
I just want to be happy but nooooo, life’s not that easy
Life sucks
Men suck
I suck
One minute I think he likes me enough to turn our spark into a flame
And the next I’m sure that I’m not good enough or old enough
This hurts
I don’t understand it just does
I’m just frustrated
I’m just depressed
I just can’t figure myself or anybody else around me out
There’s so many things I don’t understand
Will I ever?
It’s not Josh that’s doing this
It’s just everything
I can’t talk to anybody about any of this
No one cares and understands
Only me, myself and I
I guess that’s just about the only thing you’re sure you’ll have
And just never know if you are going to lose yourself.