Thirty One

How did I get here?
Find this place?
It’s amazing,
So much I never knew.
Had so many questions,
Disconnected...
Surrounded by chaos,
Waking sleep,
Didn’t try too hard.
No more daydreams.
The damage done.
Forgive me?
I’m not sorry.
I found myself.
The bravest I’ve ever been.
The discovery so blinding...
Kept it together.

How did I grow?
Stopped competing,
Love has set me free.
Strange logic?
Can’t be sure…
BUT
I learned to give
Without expectation.
Like wildfire,
Humility stirs in my soul.
To rely on desire
A mixed blessing.
I found
The order that underlies chaos.
I know how it feels.
I vow,
To never return.