Letter of Apology

Dear Anna,

I know that at first it was going to take forever to get you
to trust anyone again after all of the things that have happened to
you. I also know that it was going to take forever for you to find
room in your heart for me, and i know that now after last night that
might never happen. Trust is the one thing that should never be
broken between people that care about each other, and i broke that
trust. I will never in a million years be able to express how much I
regret it and how much i would kill in order to go back and never say
it but i cant go back in time. Ling is the worst thing that i could
have done to you and i did it. Your heart is so fragile as of right
now and i'm sure that it damn near broke it when i told you. I was
just starting to gain your trust but all of that just shattered and
went down the drain. I know you said last night that you forgave me,
but i know that you wont stop thinking about it, because i know i wont
stop thinking about it either. I was so upset last night that i
couldn't sleep at all and i haven't slept since 12 pm yesterday
afternoon. My dad thinks that we broke up because i was crying last
night and banging my head against the wall. He doesn't believe me
that we are still together but then again if I saw my self last night
I wouldn't either. My eyes are so blood shot that the kids in school
think that i am on drugs. I know that I don't deserve forgiveness but
I am still asking for it anyway. The only thing that i can say is
that I will never lie to you ever again. If I ever do lie to you I
give you permission to take my dads shotgun and blow my tongue right
out of my head. You were right last night when you said how would i
know whether I loved you or not because I don't know what love is but
What I do know is that, no before you I never kissed a girl that
wasn't family, and no i never hooked up with a girl, made out with a
girl, french kissed a girl or any of that. The one thing that I do
know is that even though I have never done any of that it doesn't mean
that with some time and regaining trust it wouldn't be an honor for
all of that to be the first with you because it would be. Just being
with you makes my hear float on a cloud, just hearing your voice makes
my ears feel like they have just won the lottery, and when I see you
my mouth drops and my eyes spin out of control having the prettiest
and most beautiful girl that I have ever seen standing right in front
of me. When I kissed you that day in the living room I felt
something, something in my heart just gave way. I was just in a cloud
and I never wanted it to end. I will never forgive my self for
breaking your trust, but after time i hope that you will be able to
forgive me. If not for anything else please forgive me because I
believe that we can go along time but I wish this wouldn't hang over
my head forever. Their is nothing i can do to speed up trust but all
I can do is be the best boy friend that I could possibly be to you.
Trust is probably the most important thing in a relationship and I
have broken yours. I wouldn't blame you if you lost all trust in me
but all I can say is that I am sorry and that I will do everything in
my power you gain what ever trust back that you had in me and much
more. Just think about this; your glistening eyes could lighten up
any day and your pure soul and your sweet heart could put a person in
a haze for days.(trust me i would know) In the end I hope that you
can find it in your heart to forgive me and i promise that I will
never dis trust you again, especially if I ever want to see your
glistening eyes and or kiss those soft and passionate lips of yours
ever again.

Anna and Chip Forever