the things that one remembers |
I try to forget the feel of him underneath my skin The promise of salvation smothered in sin Or the way he tore my life asunder with a crooked grin And his scent of sex and melancholy dipped in honeyed gin I try to scrub squeaky clean the places he had been Ignore the heady thrill of plunder each time I let him in Block the sound of bodies fused together, yang meeting yin The sense of being lost inside the games I’d win I tear away at the past that I will always miss The seduction of memory is wrapped in every kiss A touch of heaven while drowning in bliss And always the secret fear That all I’ll ever know Is this Behind the veils I use to hide my head Once a moonlit god lay upon my bed One I swore to follow no matter where he led A dangerous angel that played where demons bled. Will there be a day when I forget your face Where time and destiny will finally erase it And your lips, your hands become Merely a memory of grace? Will there be a day when I discover that your face Was a dream I that had dreamt? That this dream of you, forgotten in the morning, Was false, my recollection purified By the light of dawning? That I had forged you in my loneliness of flesh To guard against an emptiness A fortress for my sorrow A feeling that I will not feel tomorrow? That I will wake to see… Could it be? That you were never real, ephemeral as the air, A fantasy birthed of youthful zeal Neither here nor there? Oh but the feel of him here inside my skin That thrumming melody of earnest sins The sweet surprise of that crooked grin Those endless nights drunk on honeyed gin What of the tingling in the places he had been That game of him he’d always let me win And the lovely stretching as he would slide in The cycle of yang always meeting yin? Lie. Tell me that I will never forget the past That those good times were meant to last Tell me it will always be like the first kiss That this is not all there is to life – The times I’ll always miss. Don’t tell me that it will end like this That time will pass us by And all I’ll ever know of you Despite a whisper and a sigh – is this. |