My Eyes Are Closed

There are three types of concentrating when I close my eyes. I can: struggle to use my other senses to understand my surroundings, determinedly sort an issue or storyline out and watch a daydream in progress, or let go and visually pay attention to the darkness. I would like to write a short description about the last bit.

As I have gotten older, I have realized more so that when I close my eyes, I do it merely to rest. But I remember that when I was younger I would spend a good amount of time with my eyes closed, seeing images that I thought made me unique. I can still see these images, if I make the effort to let go and look. With me, if I concentrate only on keeping my eyes perfectly straight and well shut – and I am not thinking about anything at all - I can see a velvety darkness that is imprinted with a rich, sparkly red embroidery. After I get accustomed to the canvas, I can see silvery-white translucent squares hovering and moving across the red sparkly dots. I used to think that when I closed my eyes, the sparks I would see represented the stars in the universe.

When I was a little girl, my mom caught me standing about with my eyes closed and she asked me what I was doing. I told her I was watching the patterns inside my eyelids – and she said that she could to do that, too. I remember being shocked – I was not the only one who studied the images on the inside of her eyelids! But, then I reasoned that it was okay. My mom was wonderful, and she could be allowed to see the moving pictures, too.