Screeming Sirens

Screaming Sirens

Crawling out of a strange bed
Smell of stale cigarettes in my hair
Swore I'd never do this
Never wanted to be one of those girls
You know the ones with all the make up
Trying to cover up
The scares inside
painting their outsides
Never realizing that the cover up is more of a screaming siren then
a hidden truth.
It screams I'm easy
It screams I'm scared
It screams No self esteem
I guess I became her last night
My desperation is starting to bleed through.
I look in the mirror
I 'm not certain who is looking back
I used to wear confidence
I used to wear pride
I once sported love
Now all I see is black eye liner
brown eye shadow
pink blush
and
most important cover up
Trying desperately to hide behind the make up
All my inner anguish
Never really realized until last night
I became one of those girls
I am one of those girls
I took the final step
The only question left is how to step back
Back off of that ledge
Before I get so caught up in hiding
I loose myself completely
Before outsides go in and insides out
I don't wear my heart on my sleeve,
however I don't appear to be able to
put it anywhere these days.
I once gave it away and it has never found its way back to the orifice that is my chest
Now I walk around hallow and torn
I put on more make up trying to cover up my gaping insides with a screaming siren.
-rmw-