Kisses and Doors

You rush into my life like a breaking tidal wave,
your stealth in kissing me wakes me from a safe and greatful rest,
you leave prints on my skin that burn as every memory flashes, that dormant thread of life feels like liquid metal in my heart,

Your voice soothes my nerves as I crumble and tear your number into thousands of pieces,
your more than excited to come and receive me,
I hold on tight as the wind batters at my clean and trusting skin, my life lying so lightly in your rough hands, I need to believe that fate alone obliterated the small structure of self belief that I had once again struggled to construct

I can't make my body and nature obey,
neither might I wish that things had been different, to see your true colors,
I can't make time stand still as we pass through lifes early morning haze, realizing that this isn't as casual as you'd hoped,
I can't make my mind stop,
I can't make my lips move, nonetheless sounds that my throat refuse to make congeal on my tongue, forming as thoughts, spilling in clumsy fragments and ragged swirling gestures

To you it seems I'm more trouble than I'm worth, Tell me what I ask of you?
Perhaps if I asked for more it might push your hands and heart,
What little respect I require,
What tiny shred of you I have such a need to be privy to,

You push me away,
all truth withheld behind this first step,
would it be nothing short of your own suicide?
I must not overcome your threshold.