There were so many chances for me to fall. Why didn't I? |
What could this be? An elevator that takes me eighty stories or more in the air with no semblance of walls, guardrails or destination. I feel floor 'neath my feet, but I'm flying higher and higher. Zooming below me is the world, the city... where am I? It's an unfamiliar place, but damn it feels like home. In my waking mind, I only there realize what it felt like. Minnesota. Is that home? Maybe it is. Maybe my dream is telling me that I have to go...home. Or maybe admittance to confusion is a step up from my confused confines. Or am I finally coming to realize something...unique? That my love has outlasted the rest. Has it? Soon I'll find out. Soon I'll know. Soon it'll break my heart, but I will know. The ascension says so. I shall know, and in the end, it will enbolden me. I remember my nocturnal ascension. It was dangerous, and I was always near the edge; I could have fallen. Instead, I reached the top. It was so high I could see the city. Was it glass that kept me in? If so, why didn't it splinter at my touch? Was I too scared to reach out? Or did I reach out and find... protection? I do remember I was not alone, that a looming, dark figure was next to me. He assured me that I would be okay, and indeed he was right. How did he know? Is this dark figure a shadow of myself, a darker semblance of the total me? Or is it simply a bolder version or the more forceful person I keep locked inside? Is this telling me what I've need to hear for so long? To assert myself trust my gut and hold people to their actions? Maybe it's a sign that in real life I shall ascend in some way and that in the end I will be okay. |