Relative Strangers

Chapter 1

It was too nice of a day to feel so numb; yet, I could not get a grip on my feelings. I cannot allow my emotions to sway my decision. As I stood on the walk and stared at the door not fifteen feet away, it promised to change my life forever. I thought back to virtually two years ago, which seemed more like two decades, when this expedition had begun and remembered that coming this far had cost me far too much to go back now.

I recalled all too clearly the incident that had led me onto this search. The fight that had gone too far. I would not be able to face him again until I had completed this self-appointed mission, because I knew he was right. I am afraid of the truth and what it may mean.
Oh, sure, we had always known the truth. My brother who was 4 years older than myself was adopted, and so was I. The truth was never hidden from us. In fact we were taught to admire our Birth-mothers for the courage and strength it must have taken to hand over her own flesh and blood for strangers to raise as their own – whatever her reasons. Yet we were always aware that part of the truth was missing, the part that answered the question – why? Perhaps that was the truth I was afraid of.

Well, I suppose I have come too far to get cold feet now. I’m opening the gate…. for the first time I take notice of the yard. Trimmed with a gray picket fence and tulips, while closer to the house there are many varieties of flowers beautifully arranged with roses climbing trellises next to the house. Lots of love has gone into those flowers. Yet, when you look at the yard, it showed a manicured lawn with bald spots where children obviously play for endless hours. The whole house including the shutters seems to send out a friendly invitation. Yet, today even the grass looked lonely.

By the time I had reached the front door, I felt like I had walked several miles instead of the few yards that it was. I rang the bell and waited. I heard no sound. The house seemed empty. After ringing the bell several more times and waiting, I decided no one was home. Releasing a sigh of both relief and disappointment, I resigned myself to return to the hotel where my husband patiently awaits me. He had wanted to come along but I had to do this one myself. What am I going to tell him?

I am not sure I could get the courage up again. I like my life the way it is, I am not ready for any changes. I would make no changes – except one, to answer this nagging question. Perhaps I’ll take a walk around the neighborhood. As a matter-of-fact, what did I think I was going to say to her anyway? “Hi, I’m your daughter, your own flesh and blood, you know that baby you gave up 27 years ago?” Or perhaps something more like “Hi, do you remember a particularly memorable event in your life, almost 30 years ago?” That’s no good! Perhaps I should be more direct. “Hi, I’m Leuna Downey. I realize you don’t know me, but do you have a few minutes to speak with me?” Oh, why didn’t I think this out? I’m glad she wasn’t home. I was so worried about my questions and the possible answers, I nearly forgot, I need to start somewhere.

I thought this journey was nearly over. Now I realize it has just begun. I never considered what this would do to her life. How many children did the investigator tell us she had? Three of her own and two adopted? She’s been married let me think, 20 years? I wander if he knows of me. I suppose it would be wrong to think her children know of me. Am I her deep dark secret? Or am I her greatest mistake? Has she tried to forget me or fondly remembered me? Will I bring her joy, or sorrow? Oh my, I have been selfish. I was so worried about my life that I never considered hers.

I need to go back to the hotel for a pep talk from Don. He has been just great through all of this. Never once has he discouraged me. He also has never reminded me of the sacrifices he must be making. This must be hard on him too. How did I get so blessed? Why can’t I just be happy with things the way they are? I have a wonderful husband and our daughter is so special. I’ve seen strength in Don that I never knew was there. There have been so many times that I could do nothing more than fall apart and Don has always been there to pick up the pieces. Like the time when Niamey asked me why she wasn’t enough to make me happy. It broke my heart and I fell apart, but Don took her aside and said something to her. I wish I knew what it was he had said to her. She came back out to the sofa where I was sitting, took my tearstained face in her sweet little hands, and looked right into my eyes and very softly said, “Momma, I love you, if you need this I will help you. Just don’t forget that you love me too.”


Chapter 2

It was a long night. Don sat up and talked with me all night. By the time I had returned to the hotel room I had convinced myself that this was one major mistake and I was sorry I had wasted all the time, money and energies that had been invested into this farce. Don was just great! He tenderly reminded me, of all the support that I have. Every argument (I should say excuse) I gave he countered with a statement of equal conviction.

He reminded me of when my brother Wayne looked for his parents. I had gotten so mad. I thought he was being ungrateful to our parents, our adopted parent. Who cared who this woman was that had so little compassion as to abandon her own flesh and blood? Who cared what marvelous reasons she had? They weren’t good enough! She was no mother! The woman we called mum was more woman and more mother than any stranger out there full of excuses and selfishness. Why did he care so much about her anyway? Our parents were so supportive of his search. Mum said something about it being a need that drives you until fulfilled. She somehow understood. She actually said that it didn’t send a message of ungraciousness, but more a message of strength and conviction. Wayne was confident in their love. Confident enough to not only feel safe in seeking answers but confident enough to enlist their assistance. In fact, mum was more concerned about what this might mean in the other woman’s life. Does that beat all or what? Don reminded me of when Wayne wanted to give up the search. But, it kept driving him and he was unable to concentrate on anything. In fact, it started to affect his self-esteem. Don also reminded me that since Wayne found his answers he and mum’s bond seem to have only grown stronger.

He also, pointed out that this is under my skin. If it weren’t then I wouldn’t be so concerned with the outcome. He reminded me that I am the type of person that once a question has been voiced; I won’t rest until the answer is found. Even though the answer will affect the rest of my life. No answer may have an even stronger effect on my life.

Upon, Don’s suggestion I called her. I decided it was quite unfair to invade her territory and disrupt her life without warning. We set up a meeting at a local park. She seemed relieved to hear from me. Yet, I’m sure she’s filled with similar anxieties. Such as what if she doesn’t like me? What if I don’t like her? Oh, my nerves. We agreed to bring our husbands, though they’ll be giving us plenty of privacy. It turns out her husband does know of me and is excited to meet me. So is… what do I call her? Marie for now, I guess, until we both find something more comfortable. We agreed that it would be best if we worked a few things out just the two of us first. She doesn’t want her children involved, yet, in case things go sour. Does she care about these children more than she did me? What kind of circumstances could possibly cause a woman to give away her child? Am I going to be as hurt as Wayne was when he finally located his mother? That’s a ridiculous question, Leuna! Wayne’s birth mother refused to so much as acknowledge him. He had to fight just to get to talk with her. I still can’t believe his reaction. He has such a wonderful attitude. You can tell we’re not truly kin. That woman yelled at Wayne and said he had ruined her life. Can you imagine? He ruined her life? She also said some other very cruel things to him. How much she had loved his father who left her as soon as he found out she was pregnant. Her parents kicked her out on the streets when they found out. It was all his fault that her life turned out such a mess. She was not allowed to finish school when the officials found out. I’m so glad we’re a little more open minded today. Dear Lord just help me to be as loving and forgiving as he was. He just gave her a big hug and said thank you for giving me life, and thank you for allowing me to be loved. I will pray that you find even a fraction of the love that I’ve received from the family that you gave me to. Please know that if you ever need anything call me. I will always be eternally grateful for the decisions you made 30 years ago.

That was just over a year ago, now. I couldn’t imagine anyone being so hateful. Especially toward an innocent child. All Wayne ever felt for her was sympathy. Whenever we talked about it, Wayne only felt bad that she has had such a hard life and how grateful he truly is that she did give him up. I hope that it turns out…well. So far, I’m off to a much better start. Speaking of which….

“Hey Don? How much longer till we reach the park?”

“We’ll be there in about 20 more minutes. Don’t look so worried. You’re a strong wonderful person. I’m sure that no matter how things go today, you’ll handle it with wisdom and strength. Keep in mind you are a very loved person.”

“Don how did I get so lucky, to have the love of the most marvelous man in the world?”

“By just being you. Listen, I wish I could give you many words of wisdom, but, this is a unique situation and you’re going to have to trust in your instincts and cling to your faith in God.”

Chapter 3

The silver Buick had lost its glint many years ago, Sam and Marie had planned to replace the car for two years now, but it just didn’t seem to be a priority. Sam was driving while half humming Marie’s favorite song “Come To The Waters”. Sam could tell Marie was very nervous, although they both had been expecting this for years. In fact, Marie had been anxiously hoping this day would come. Now that it had, she could hardly contain herself.

Sam could only imagine the turmoil that was going on inside of Marie. He had been married to Marie for over 20 years now and was confident that he knew how her mind worked. However, this time, Sam was not so confident. He was sure she was very concerned for the young woman they were driving to meet, and her family. He was confident that Marie was taking an inventory of her life. He could only hope she saw just how rich and full it has been. Sam was also confident that she was concerned about meeting up to expectations. He had to smile, as he recalled the scene in the bedroom not two hours ago. It must have taken Marie 30 minutes to find just the right outfit: and the clothes all over the room was evidence of raw nerves. Sam was sure Marie did not miss even one outfit as she debated this morning which outfit was the perfect one. He was also sure that she currently was more concerned about the children and what she may be sharing with them when they later stopped at his mothers to pick them up.

Sam started to say, “You know Marie, it really doesn’t matter, if what was her name Le-U…?”

“She said her name was Leuna. I think it is a very pretty name don’t you?” asked Marie

“Yes, Marie, it is a very lovely name. I wonder what it means.”

“Anyway, I just wanted to tell you” as Sam began again, “I know, that this is important to you. I realize important is such a minimum word right now but, it is the best I got. Anyway, I want you to realize that whatever happens today, I love you. After twenty years, I still think you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met. In fact, everyday that I get to share your life, I realize just how much of a woman you truly are. I am so grateful that God chose to bless me with you. If Leuna doesn’t choose…” pausing Sam began to realize he was walking in unknown territory and was choosing his words carefully.

“Marie, whatever comes from today, please don’t question your decision. You must remember, whether Leuna had a good life or not, the decision you made 27 years ago was the best possible for all parties involved.”

Marie interrupted with a firm “Oh, Sam, I thought you knew me better than that! Honestly, Sam, I have no questions about decisions of the past. I admit I have fantasized about Leuna being in our lives. Then, I realize that my life at that time would not have followed the same path if I had made any other decision. I most likely….” Marie’s voice began to trail off as she remembered the circumstances.

Now it was Sam’s turn to interrupt. “Woman! You will never know what I was about to say if you don’t allow me to finish! Only once in a lifetime, and then that’s only in some lifetime’s, is there such an opportunity for a man, this man in particular, to share his deepest thoughts. His entire heart, his strongest emotions, words waiting a lifetime to be spoken. What does Marie do? She first allows me to be wordy and dramatic. For this I thank you. I’ve been trying to tell you. I hope and pray that a new beautiful relationship blooms out of today’s adventure. However, if it doesn’t, one we have to respect the decisions of all parties involved. And two I’ve been with you long enough to know that you can find beauty in any tragedy and if need be you’ll do it again. I’ll be right by your side enjoying the masterpiece of your life.”

Marie reached across the seat and took Sam’s hand so tenderly he almost didn’t see the sign for the exit.

Marie knows she is blessed with a wonderful man and sent a prayer of thanksgiving up again, as she frequently does. Marie fought hard to listen to Sam and not get lost in her own thoughts. This was a difficult task however. Marie couldn’t help but feel like a little kid going to visit her favorite aunt. At the same time, Marie had a full gamut of emotions going through her system all at once. Quite a collage full, swinging from one end of the spectrum to the other.

Although Marie could clearly recall how she had turmoiled and agonized over her decision to offer her child to another home, she never regretted the choice she made. It was the most agonizing time of her life. Marie looked over at Sam and wondered if he was worried about the memories that have already begun to stir.

Chapter 4

Sam was just pulling the Buick over the wood bridge that served as an entrance to Marie’s favorite park. Marie has spent many hours here. The children practically grew up in this park. Without fail, Marie made sure the children visited the park a minimum of twice a week. She said “No matter what was going on in the world or their lives they needed to know how to relax and have fun. Otherwise life can get so serious you don’t want to go on.” Marie spent a lot of hours alone here too. She walked the path that followed the stream that went right through the middle of the park when she was reflecting. When she was really troubled or even feeling particularly blessed she would tour the gardens.

The rose garden was her favorite. But she chose to meet Leuna and her husband in the Garden of Fountains. Marie said “The waters had a way of washing away chaos.” Sam was concerned about the chaos that was undoubtedly going on inside Marie.
Marie was quiet as Sam parked the Buick in a corner. She had instructed Don & Leuna to park in Lot 2. Supposedly, because it was more convenient for the direction they were coming. Sam suspected there was a little more to it than that.

Sam was to walk Marie to the Garden of the Fountains. Right inside the entrance were two gazebos. The women were to go on from there on their own. The men were to wait here where they could both observe the women but with the sound of the fountains would be unable to overhear anything. The women were to meet at the Fountain of Peace.

Marie walked quietly, but hung on to Sam’s arm until they arrived at the entrance of the Garden of Fountains, marked with a copper five tier Victorian swan fountain surrounded by a 15 foot pool constructed of Granite stones. The fountain stood almost 10 feet high on it’s own. Then there is the 12” geyser and the cascading over all five tiers. You could almost hear it 50 yards away. There were appropriate water plants and fish in the pool at the base, and flowers on the outside of the pool wall. The children used to say it looked like a huge wedding cake smothered in icing.

The entrance actually consisted of a 20-foot wide archway of sweet smelling Wisteria in full bloom of lavender and white. Once through the Arbor you have a half circle Gazebo on either side of you. They face each other at an angle, but are far enough apart to provide a sense of privacy. A welcoming effect when put in perspective to the Garden of Fountains now in front of you. There are floating fountains, geysers, archways, and cascades along with waterfalls, towers, and statues. There was only one with jumping jets in it. It lay just beyond the gazebos and was motion activated. The grass under your feet is like a rich thick carpet of green. Many people choose to take their shoes off to walk through the gardens because the grass is so tender. Some of these fountains have been here for a hundred years and some only a few years.

As Sam and Marie passed through the archway of Wisteria Marie stopped and allowed her hand to slowly run down Sam’s arm and reached for his hand. Being only 5’1” Marie stood on her toes in order to give Sam a kiss. Sam at 5’9” had to bend just a little so she could actually reach his cheek. They squeezed each other’s hands and volumes were exchanged, though not a word was spoken, as Marie went off to the Fountain of Peace.

Sam went up the 6 steps to the platform of the Gazebo and took a seat. He positioned himself where he could look over his shoulder to see the Fountain of Peace, but facing forward, he could see the entrance. Within a few moments, the sound of the fountains had begun to have a calming effect on Sam and he whispered a little prayer that Marie was finding calm in her storm.

Chapter 5

Leuna was suddenly very nervous and wanted so much for Don to go with her. The ride to the park had had a soothing effect. The walk through the park also had a peaceful way of calming her nerves. It almost made her feel nostalgic. Leuna couldn’t suppress thinking how much mum would appreciate this park with all it’s gardens and picnic areas, one of which even has a bandstand. Luena thought it odd that in the midst of the excitement taking place right now, she really was missing Niamey. She wanted to just pull that precious little thing right up on her lap and love all over her. Even though Leuna was ready for this endeavor, she was ready to go home. She had never been away from her daughter overnight, let alone three days. Don had always been her rock of Gibraltar, keeping her focused and strong, but for this one she needed to draw the strength from within.

Leuna realized when she woke up this morning she had an odd sense of foreboding as well as an almost jubilant anticipation. She couldn’t seem to shake the foreboding like something awful was in store for her, but she didn’t feel anxious about it either. As they arrived at the large fountain that Marie had said marked the entrance to the Garden of Fountains a small breeze had begun and a mist came upon her face. The mist felt good and Leuna was glad she had chose to not wear make-up other than a little gloss on her lips.

“Is there a proper way to approach this?” Leuna was unaware that the question had slipped passed her lips. She looked up just as Don’s face twisted into a quizzical almost comical contortion. She could only respond in what sounded to her as a pretty stupid tone with “I don’t supposet there has been any protocol written for this situation, do you?” They both laughed lightly. “Lu, (Don called her this when he was feeling particularly fond and protective of her) your thoughts do go every which way don’t they?”

Leuna almost didn’t notice the wisteria archway if the sweet smell had not touched her senses and had an effect on her very being. She looked up just in time to get the full effect of the Garden. It was as if walking through the archway led you into a different world. It was kind of hard to bring all your troubles with you. She certainly could appreciate why Marie had chosen to meet here.

Chapter 6

As Sam watched, a young couple came through the archway. They were holding hands and cooing at each other. They walked right past him without even noticing he was there, they were so involved with each other. Sam watched them over his shoulder until they disappeared at the other end. Sam turned around just in time to see another couple in their late 20’s come through the entrance holding hands. But Sam had turned around just in time to see her reluctantly pull away. This must be her thought Sam to himself. She looks amazingly like Marie did 22 years ago when they first met. With this exception, she definitely was a little taller. He guess she was about 5’7” to Marie’s 5’4” She carries herself a lot like Marie does too. Only she seems a little more innocent and naïve than Marie was. I hope her family was good to her. For both her sake and Marie’s.

As Sam watched he realized the man was observing everything. Sam tried to think what did Marie say his name was. I wish I were better with names, oh yes, Don. Sam decided he would step out and greet them, but first he wanted to sum up a few things. Don appeared to be very protective and reluctant to allow his wife go on alone. He heard her firmly tell him “This I must do alone. Whatever comes after today I can deal with as long as we do it together.” She gave him a hug as if she were drawing strength from him.

She dropped Don’s hand and as she started to look around Sam decided not to speak to her yet, but he did point in the direction in which she would find Marie. There seemed to be an instant recognition and understanding. Sam watched as Leuna picked up energy and wandered around the fountain of innocence. This was a double pool with a waterfall to connect the two. The top pool had a cluster fountain off center toward the back. It was loaded with water plants such as Lotus’s, Lavender Irises, Spider Lilies and Cana’s. The bottom fountain facing the spectator contained fish and a few water plants designed to provide shade and food sources for the fish. It contained 13 jumping jets. The walls of both pools were covered with river stone and more plants. A few herbs were planted in and around the walls, including some lemon thyme, rosemary, lavender and several varieties of mint. At the far end of the upper pool behind the cluster fountain was what seemed like a small mountain and there were two wall fountains one was a lion, the other a lamb, the fountain flowing out of their mouths. In the midst of the lower pool was a statue of the lamb lying with the lion.

Leuna tried not to be too anxious but she was now on her last stretch and was ready to get on to the next. She had left Don standing between two Gazeboes looking at her with that look of inspiration he always seemed to muster. She knew she could handle anything as long as Don was with her. She wanted to take her time and enjoy the beautiful gardens around her.

Yet, she had a destiny and it was time to meet it. That man must have been Sam, Marie’s husband. I feel like I would want to meet him.

Leuna realized the garden was so well designed you couldn’t rush through it. It inspires you to stop and breathe it in. All the fountains created a very light mist and such a variety of plants and designs. It was almost like taking a drug. Your whole soul just had to slow down. “I would have chosen this place for a meeting of related strangers too.” Leuna heard herself say out loud as she passed what must have been the 7th or 8th fountain menagerie.

There was an amazing peace that seemed to take over. “I think I would have named it the Garden of Peace. I’m looking for The Fountain of Peace, Marie had said to take a left after passing into the garden and just keep following the main path. Once I cross the bridge I would see The Fountain of Peace. It would be directly in front of me. I was then to follow the path around the weeping maple and there would be an alcove on my left.” Leuna followed the path and was able to see the alcove immediately.

As she entered through another arbor of some flowering vine she did not recognize her breath just stopped. In front of her was the most beautifully inspirational sight she had ever seen in her life. She walked toward the center spinning around as she went to take it all in. It was as if she had entered another dimension. Everything had disappeared even her apprehension toward this meeting. She was absolutely breathless.

“How would I ever describe this” she heard her own voice but it was barely audible. “You can’t. There are no words” Leuna spun around to see where the whispered words had come from. She came face to face to Marie.

Chapter 7

Leuna almost felt like she was looking at another version of herself. Marie was a few inches shorter and of course, considerably older. Leuna thought that her face looked a little hardened. Marie had one of those faces that made one think there is a story to be told here. There were several scars under and above her left eye. Her nose and jaw both had the appearance of being broken several times. But Marie’s eyes are what caught Leuna’s attention. They were so alive! So full of Spirit!
Something about Marie’s eyes made you feel instantly safe, instantly loved.

The awkwardness that one would expect in a situation such as this, almost wasn’t present. Leuna found herself hugging Marie, and crying. Marie pulled Leuna across the blue slate pathway to a concrete bench under the shade of a weeping maple.

Marie held Leuna and they both cried. Then they were shushing each other. Every time Leuna opened her mouth to speak the words would not come.

As Marie held Leuna like she had wanted to hold her since the day she was born, she spoke to her. Her first words were about how beautiful Leuna was and how very much she had prayed not just for her safety but for her happiness. How often she had held her in her dreams. Then Marie softly whispered….

“Leuna, I loved you so much,” Leuna began to lift her head to look at Marie as she continued “it was out of that love I found the strength to give you up”

“Then why” began Leuna between sobs. “Why in God’s name did you throw me away?”

“I didn’t throw you away. Oh no, dear God, I didn’t throw you away. As hard as it may be to understand it was the only loving thing I could do.”

Leuna started to interrupt, Marie gently reached up to her cheek, and sh-sh’d her.

“You need to let me finish, perhaps you’ll somewhat understand.”

“You see at the time you were in my tummy, you were the only thing keeping me on this earth. I was very depressed and I honestly was living one hour at a time. Some hours it was minute to minute. I was almost 20 years old. The only thing I knew of life was that I didn’t like what I’d seen so far and truly wanted no more. I couldn’t take care of myself and I certainly couldn’t take care of a child. In fact, I wasn’t sure I wanted to bring a child into this world.”

Chapter 8

“The day I found out I was pregnant had been one of the lowest points in my life. I had just left the hospital an hour earlier. I had left against medical advice. My wrists were stitched up and bandaged. I had failed an attempt at suicide. I was sitting on the edge of my bed with a handful of pills trying to determine if I had enough to get the job done. I certainly wasn’t going to live through another attempt. I would make sure of that. I determined that there were only two missing from the prescription and I would take the remainder of that bottle and another full prescription my roommate had, with a full bottle of Jack Daniels. Just as I had swallowed about twelve of the pills the phone rang. Of course, I’m not answering the phone but we had an answering machine. Anyway, it was my doctor, while I sat there cursing her and telling her that some people don’t want help she left a message that I was pregnant.

I still remember the rush of mixed emotions that just flooded me. It was such an overwhelming prospect. I was so shocked I think I passed out. In the process I dropped the pills all over the floor, the bottle of Jack Daniels was now broken all over the floor, and most of the pills were dissolved in the mess.

I remember laughing because I thought my life couldn’t get any worst, but, here within minutes it had. What was I going to do with a baby? Like I could even take care of one. I couldn’t take care of myself. I was 93 pounds soaking wet. There was no food in the fridge. I no longer had a job, I had no family, and I was suicidal. I must have laughed for 30 minutes. I was thinking what a comedian God was.

I remember telling myself it doesn’t really change anything. I still was going to kill myself. My health probably wouldn’t let me carry full term anyway. I had already had one miscarriage a year earlier. Then I got mad at you because now I had to find another source. Then I cried. I cried myself to sleep.

I woke up the next morning crying. I realized I wasn’t dead inside after all. I wasn’t real sure I wanted to bring a child into the ugly world I knew. I only had one escape that was to die. But, if there was a chance for you and I could place you in a different world than mine
I think I roamed the house for most of the day sleeping off and on. Somewhere during that I day I made a decision.

I decided that I was still going to kill myself but I was going to put it off. I had something to do first. I was going to do everything I could to bring you safely into this world. I would focus the next several months on bringing forth a healthy child. I would find a family to raise you and love you. Then I would kill myself. Then something positive may come out of my existence. There was some reason you had survived the last few months, and I was determined just once I wasn’t going to blow it.

The next 6 ½ months I did everything I was supposed to do. Including to try to keep my attitude positive and to think only lovely thoughts. I became very religious during that time and I finally had a reason to survive until the next day. You.

I found an adoption agency that I really liked and moved into a maternity home. This was so it would be harder to give in to the desire to kill myself in a weak moment. And of course they made sure I did healthy stuff, you know things like eat, sleep and exercise. I did a lot of things to keep myself busy. I made patterns and sewed clothing for all the girls in the home. I took some craft classes and even got my GED.

Now that was a site. I was nine months pregnant and they were afraid I was going into labor. I had been on bed rest for the last two months. But I was scheduled for my test. Some reason it was important for my child’s birth mother to have a diploma. I had to sit sideways in the desk because my tummy wouldn’t fit. I almost couldn’t reach the paper to mark my answers. I had to hold the question portion up so I could read it. The test administrator kept asking me if I was all right. My biggest problem was I had to go to the restroom so-o-o bad. And you weren’t allowed to re-enter the room once you left. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to finish the test. I did. I scored number 3 for the state. Two days later, I took my accounting test. I again scored number 3 for the state. Then the next day you were born in all your beauty.”

Chapter 9

You were so beautiful. I had gone through a lot of painful things in my life. But nothing as painful as handing you over to the caseworker that day. They had allowed me to hold you. An exception to the rule that I had gotten through sheer begging. I wanted a chance to hold you just once to tell you how much I had grown to love you and pray that you have a safe and joyful life. And to thank you for showing me some beauty in life. I actually begged that some day you may understand.

It was three days before I was allowed to sign the final papers for your adoption. It was two weeks before the maternity home released me. They were a hard two weeks. I really had to fight the depression that had set in. I worked hard to improve myself during my stay. I kept going because of you. When I made my plans I had to wait at least 18 months after you were born so that if you did happen to come look for me you didn’t think that you were the reason for my demise.”

Suddenly, Marie stopped speaking and lifting Leuna’s tear stained face, said “oh luv, don’t hurt so. It was a long time ago and the good Lord does have a way of turning tears to joy.”

Leuna barely broke a whisper when she said “Thank you”

“Listen, why don’t we go find our husbands and get some lunch, is that ok with you?”

Leuna nodded and the two women walked through the gardens together. Taking advantage of the atmosphere and calming all the chaos inside, by the time they found the men they were laughing together as they shared the antics of their children and spoke of their husbands. It took them almost 30 minutes to find their way back to the men

Chapter 10

In the mean time the men had ventured over to each other and had kept each other company. They carefully avoided talking about the women though they both were worried.

They had taken an instant liking to each other. Sam at 5’9” with his salt and pepper hair and gray eyes. Don had blond hair streaked with white that looked more like highlights, ice blue eyes and with the most fascinating smile stood right at 6 foot. Both men weighed about 230 lbs. They both were soft spoken and appeared to be pretty laid back.

They discovered that neither of them got real into sports although both knew how to enjoy a game. Though Sam knew some basics, neither of them cared much about working on vehicles they both would rather pay someone else to do it. They agreed that extended warrantees on vehicles were well worth the expense if you purchase a good vehicle to begin with. They both liked GM while Sam preferred Buick’s, Don preferred Chevy’s.

Then the differences began. Don worked for the federal government as an IT Engineer building and designing *************. Don is currently assigned to the FBI’s forensic unit. Sam was a minister with some computer knowledge. He used his computer to track the church finances and membership records to type his sermons and research the internet. He also loved e-mail to keep in touch with family members some on a daily basis.

Don loves American History Sam loves Psychology. Don’s a woodcrafter and Sam prefers to read

Chapter 11

As the women approached the entrance to the garden they noticed in almost the same instant that the men seem to have bonded and they joked for a few minutes about it.

Marie suddenly stopped laughing and looked at Leuna with the most serious face. Marie grabbed Leuna by the shoulders and pulled her off the path.

“I need to know one thing before we go on. It’s important you answer me truthfully. Please?”
Leuna nodded “I’ll do my best”

“Just tell me. Did you have a good life?”
a resounding “Oh yes, it was a good life and is a good life”

Then both women almost bounced back on the path and with a skip in their step they went to their husbands.

Chapter 12

The two couples spent an enjoyable lunch together in a small café close enough to the park they had walked.

Marie made a few menu suggestions. Sam raved about the steak sandwich so much that Don felt like he would being missing out if he didn’t try it. Sam had allowed Don to order first, the look on his face when the waitress had asked him how he wanted his steak cooked was priceless, even the women laughed. The steak sandwiches had a ½” rib steak, the cheese was dripping off the sides with mushrooms and onions, crisp lettuce and firm tomatoes placed in a home baked roll.

Marie’s favorite was the Chef’s salad, came in a bowl the size of most of Leuna’s serving bowls, piled high with meats and cheeses two boiled eggs quartered and tomato wedges that must have equaled a whole tomato, she took more than half of it home she said she usually splits with one of the children but she’ll have it for her lunch tomorrow. Leuna accepted Marie’s recommendation for the New England Clam Chowder with some Garlic toast. The bowl was what Leuna would have expected the Chef’s Salad to be in, must have been a quart. The broth was creamy and rich. There were large tender clams and vegetables sprinkled with real crumbled crisp bacon. The whole party felt they had gone to heaven. Everyone had food left on their plate. The conversation had remained light.

Sam and Marie told stories from the ministry. While Don and Leuna both told stories about growing up. Sam and Marie both told stories about their five children two of whom were grown and beginning lives of their own. Of course Don and Leuna told stories about Niamey. Don couldn’t speak of his job and Leuna being an accountant had few work related stories to tell.

Before they knew it several hours had passed and it was time for each to return to daily responsibilities but before they did they agreed to meet for breakfast. They jointly left a generous tip for the waitress since they tied up her table for so many hours and she courteously kept them supplied in ice tea, water and coffee. Before they parted ways Marie told Leuna that she would dedicate the next few days to getting to know each other, if that was ok with her. Leuna agreed she would like to spend some more time with Marie. Both women knew there were still a lot of questions to be addressed and both weren’t sure they were prepared to receive the answers.