Honeys

“NO! Cad, please wake up! I love you, don’t leave me please! Wake up, Cadence I’m begging you, wake up!” Her blood drained through his hoodie, replacing the proper gray it had to dark red. He cried, he never thought that he would; yet now he cried. Begging the life for his loved one, he could never stand to keep his emotion stay on the proper casual feels he used to do even at the saddest moments he’d through.
“God, please…..” His face stained by tears that welled up before the fresh ones slid down his flushed face as he watched her frozen eyelids seemed to act nothing for his wailing.
“Cadence-” The other man gasped, falling down to his knees as he watched the lifeless body of a girl he more than recognised; yet glared blankly. The freezing drizzle gradually soaked his black died hair, causing some strands stick on his forehead, adding some accent to his ghostly pale face.
The sounds of ambulance and police alarm splattered off the silence. Two men in white soon jogged through the glass pieces, pushing the flat rolling metal bed over to the side of the road where they were. One of them knelt down just right next to Charlie as he held two fingers on her neck and on the veins of her left wrist. He looked up to the other man who stood slightly behind him, shaking his head.
“I’m sorry….” He glanced aside to Charlie, sympathetically put one hand on his shoulder.
“NO!” He cried out, pulling her body tightly to his chest as he tried to find her existence, but he could only feel her cold skin against his, penetrated through his heart with some foreign shiver and hurting tingly.

FLASHBACKS

James

“…then it’s obviously not my fault! You should’ve told me when that happened, then your car would probably still fine now….hold up.” I covered my cell phone with my hand, restraining the sounds around me to be heard by the person on the other end I was talking to as I turned around to find the smile that softly waved over my face.
“Hey, you come!” I broadly smiled and quickly kissed her by the cheek and back to the phone. “Hey, sorry I gotta go now….no, I don’t have any responsible on this, you caused it yourself!-yeah, whatever I’ll talk to you later!-“ I pressed the end call button and tucked it into my side pocket as I flung my sight back to the girl who bit her own bottom lip while narrowing over to me. “What’s the matter?” I asked as I pulled her by the shoulders.
“Nothing.” She shook her head, but I could see by the eyes that there was definitely something inside her mind. “Just I thought you would welcome me with more than just a quick kiss on the cheek.” She smiled, gradually melted my whole body by her gorgeous clear brown eyes.
“Right, smarty that wasn’t a welcome greet of what I’ve planned for you, but this one yeah.” I smiled, heaving her up to the same height as me as she wrapped my hip with her legs and began pressing my lips against hers. It felt so good after the time that felt like forever until I finally could feel her close to me again. I slowly walked backwards until I felt my back lean back on my car.
“Mhhmm…” She mumbled between the kisses as I enjoyed the exciting shiver crept through my spine when she slightly bit my bottom lip. “I missed you so bad.” She wiped my lips once we pulled off the kiss and landed a small kiss back on my lips.
I smiled, once again glared at her face as she softly caressed my jaw with her thumbs. “I could have died if you didn’t come this time.” I told her and leaned again, continuing to fill in my longing of her after a long time.
“Oh really? Then I guess now I feel so sorry that I came.” She said, slowly put her feet back on the ground.
I raised one eyebrow to her as she looked away somewhere she didn’t actually put her attention to. “What do you mean?”
“Why didn’t you call me if you wanted me to come.” She asked me back as her soft stare turned into some sort of upset look.
“I did call you.” I replied, tenderly holding her hand.
“You called me after a month since the last time we met!” Her voice turned out slightly louder as she pulled back her hand from mine.
“What?! God, Cadence I called you like five times a day since the first hour we separated! I supposed to be the one who upset here cos why you never picked up the phone by yourself!” Her eyebrows rose as confusion emerged on her face.
“You called me all this time? Oh, you gotta be the strange bugger Charlie always talked about...oh god, sorry Jimmy, he often to sit on the couch and that’s why he always got the phone first.” She stepped forward to me, holding up my hands to her chin as she gave out her look, which would always melt my heart even at the times when I’m terribly angry.
I sighed, taking her hand back in my grip as I stroke her cheek with my thumbs. “Then why you switched off your cell phone?” I asked her.
“Oh, that cell phone might just have been used by a weird look guy in China now. Someone stole it from my car after he first broke the window the next day of our last meeting.” She stated. “But oh well, we meet now so it doesn’t really matter anymore does it?” I smiled as she reached up to my head and kissed me again. I could always be set free from everything in life when I was with her, I didn’t know how, but I definitely have fallen in love with her since the first time I clapped eyes on her. She meant the world to me. Everything felt so perfect every time we were together, though it would never be as perfect as it seemed. She already had a boyfriend, a fiancé for the exact word. Yes, we were going out behind his back. It didn’t feel so right, I tell you, we had to find the right time for her to sneak out of her and Charlie’s flat and the right place where it would safe for us to meet without anyone who knows us ambush us together which turned out Charlie would find out everything. It was hard you know. But it wasn’t really such a hindrance for us, and I was so willing to do everything to be with her even only for a minute. And what held me up to keep standing tall was I knew that she loved me too. I wouldn’t give up on her even though it was my own best friend I against of.
“Alright, that’s enough, Jim! There’s still a long time of today.” She laughed, pulling away from the kiss as she softly pushed me.
“Yeah until Charlie call you up again, take you away from me and I’ll have to wait for another month to hold our next three minutes date." I frowned, leaning back my head to the car behind me.
She broadly smiled and pulled me closer by my hands. “Don’t you remember? My cell phone’s gone….I don’t know any other way for him to call me, unless he could do telepathy.” I smiled as my hands wrapped around her waist.
“Stupid me, I forgot that one.”
“Yeah, stupid you, but I like you for that though.” She laughed.
“You like me cos I’m stupid?” I lifted one eyebrow as I kept smiling over to her.
“No, I like you cos your everything. I like your sweetness, I like your smile, I like your romance, I like your bum-“ She slapped on my bum as she smiled up cheekily to me.
“You naughty little girl!” I laughed, giving a small kiss on her nose as we danced around.
“Yes, I am and you like me for that.”
“True.” She laughed and leaned herself onto my chest as she breathed deeply.
She looked up to me again, still smiling. “So where will you take me this time, cutie little Jamesy?”
“You’ll know.” I took her by the hand and led him to the car as we were now about to set off to the other ‘safe’ place I chose for us.

“Oh god-“ I deeply growled, feeling as if the wall spinning around as I felt her soft delicate touch on my sensitive. I dropped back myself on the bed and opened back my eyes as I didn’t feel her touch on me anymore. “What’s wrong?” I asked her, pulling up my trousers, zipped it up and sat up next to her as I wrapped her waist with my arm. She shook her head and sighed, leaning her head on my shoulder.
“I think I just wanna go home now.” She said, getting up.
“What?! But we’re just going for about an hour now!”
“I know, but-“ She trailed off. I could see a major confusion on her face as she stared down the floor and I thought I wouldn’t like this. “I feel so guilty to Charlie. I mean, he doesn’t deserve this, he loves me, he doesn’t know that I’m going behind his back. This is just not fair for him, and I think-“
“What? What, Cadence what do you think?” I worriedly looked up to her. I saw a single tear rolled down from the corner of her eye as she playfully bit her bottom lip, which I know she would only do when she was terribly confused.
“I think we should step out of each other now.”
“What?!” I quickly got up and stood right in front of her, trying to find something in her eyes that could tell me she wasn’t mean it.
“This is not fair for him, neither for you.” She said, wiping her eyes and looked away from my investigating stare.
“For me?”
“You don’t deserve to be like this, you don’t deserve of having this kind of relationship…I don’t deserve you, I make everything complicated for you. I’m the one who make you stand against your own best friend.”
“No, Cadence it’s not your fault. I love you and that’s not your fault. I stand against Charlie isn’t your fault either. I don’t know what else you think about it but we meant to be like this. We cant put the blame on our fate though cos this just the way we have to be. I really do love you and I cant live without you, so please, Cadence if you once again say that I don’t deserve to be like this then it’s the same with you saying I don’t deserve to live.”
“I…I don’t know, I’m so-“ She shook her head and covered her face with her hands. I pulled her in as she gradually soaked my shirt with her tears. I rubbed her back, tried to calm her down.
“Everything’s gonna be ok. We’ll make through it somehow, trust me.” I said and she nodded, slipping her hands around my neck as she held on to me for everything she felt at the time. A slight headache kicked in as I felt like my bedroom span much faster at the moment I felt her like loosen her grip from me.

Matt

“…So hard to find my way, now that I'm all on my own I saw you just the other day and, my, how you have grown. Cast my memory back there, Lord, hey, now I'm overcome thinking 'bout making love in the green grass, behind the stadium with you...my brown eyed girl…you, my brown eyed girl…” I sat on the couch of my living room, once again all by myself thinking all through the shitty moments I’d through these very worthless weeks as I sang, not really in my usual excitement tone. It was kind of weird, the song sounded so mellow and a bit jazzier. This song wasn’t meant to be sung in that way for sure, but oh crap everything! I don’t care anymore! I just needed to let some sound come out from my mouth after a long time I pondered myself out of every useless thing I did. I felt so stupid. I had a very stupid girly-twisted thingy I used to say as a girlfriend. God, she was the worst girl any guy could ever think of as a girlfriend. She was….the most terrible girlish girl I’d ever known! It was cool at the first time but after about a week we went out, I started of being so fed up of her girly attitude. All that she could do most of time was just pinching me all over my belly and hang on to me with her five-year-old-girly high pitch wail, asking for these and those. She didn’t really make up anything for me, truthfully, she was a crap I should’ve swept away from the first time.
Then something I would always say as magic, touched my desperate behind-the-shadow life. Oddly, I could feel that it was coming from the first second I heard someone knocked on my door.
“Hey, matt mateage how you doin’!” Charlie burst in the door as it opened and pulled me in for his man-in-man hug with that patting on the back and that, I wasn’t actually in the mood of having guests, neither even just to smile, so I really understood when Charlie lifted his brushy eyebrows and hit me down on my shoulder. “Jeez, who’s dead, Matt? Your girlfriend?”
“I wish so.”
“I see that – well, forget about that thingy now I wanna introduce you to someone. Cadence, Matt, Matt, Cadence.”
Oh, god! I couldn’t believe my eyes when she appeared from behind Charlie and stood in front of me, whipping over my face with that incredible smile, I thought I was seeing Venus that love goddess at the time – she’s….perfect! My eyes practically dried up as I never for once blinked my eyes away from her when she stuck out her hand and shook mine gently. She smiled, causing a strange tingly on my tummy and I felt like my stomach flipped around; the feelings I never felt before.
“M…matt…” I stuttered, obviously stunned. She had the most beautiful brown eyes in the whole universe.
“Cadence, well I think Charlie has done that for us before.” She sweetly laughed. “So, ahem…nice to meet you, Matt.” She softly pulled her hand back from my tightened grip as I could feel her smooth skin slipped out of my hand.
“Pleasure’s…” I stunned again and quickly tried to snap out as I shook my head and smiled. “…Mine.” I continued.
“So then, Matt I know I’ve never told you anything about this and it’s kinda weird that you’re my best mate and still don’t know of precious things like this. So anyway, Cadence is my-“ The time stopped ticking by in my world as I thought for the next line he was going to say to me. My heart skipped a beat, causing a small hurting shiver crept through my stomach, I felt like I was going to be sick. I tried to convince myself that he was going to say the word that was right for me, just say maybe she was his sister who lived so faraway or his cousin or anything that not related to…”-girlfriend.” He smiled, grinning, seemed like an arrogant winning grin to me as he held her by the waist with his arm. “And we’re engaged.” He smiled, even wider as she nervously smiled, looking down to the floor. I suddenly felt like a huge thunderbolt stroke through my head down to my feet. I was dying, mentally.

That, was the moment I would never forget in my entire life, both because I finally found my true love and felt my heart wrenched because soon I had to face the truth that she was with my best mate. This wasn’t fair, I finally found her, but the fate didn’t stand on my side. Then I thought, if my fate didn’t give me the chance to change my own life line, why wouldn’t I make my own chance?

So there I was, always tried to find the time as much and as often as I could to be around her. And it wasn’t so hard as I thought it would be before. Fortunately, Charlie was my best mate, so I knew just almost everything about him, like when and where he goes. It made me time to be with her, especially at the times when Charlie wasn’t there. But I never thought it would be this hard to get her, she didn’t seem to be attracted of me although I’d tried nearly all the ways to approach her. I knew this was wrong, but I loved her; I never thought that I would to any girl before, but I really did love her, something I would never feel to the other girl. And I didn’t care anymore, everything was blacked out in my mind, nothing can stop my way to get her, neither Charlie.

This one day – the day when I wasn’t around her flat, I saw her ran across the road, passing over my car when the red light went. Soon as the traffic lamp turned to green, I frantically pushed down the pedal, speeding up my car as I drove up the curve and set off back to the previous road I was passing over and followed the direction where Cadence ran. I fortunately drove fast enough to catch her up and stopped beside the sidewalk that linked to the head of a small rage path where I saw here ran into. I slammed the door shut and ran after her as I catched the small sight of her running forward and turned to right where the path forked. I could finally catch my breath after a quite long sprinting when I saw her stop, entering a strange simple square of playground that hidden between the buildings. She slowly walked towards the swing in improper paces. She put her face down in her hands as she slightly rocked back and forth on that swing. She was crying.
She jumped, almost over from the swing as she startled by my sudden pat on her shoulder. She looked up to me, scanning my face through her blurry sight of sore eyes. She started to sob again, putting back her face in her hands. I knelt down, looking up to her as I reached out for her arms. I pulled them down, revealing back her tears stained face.
“What’s happened?” I calmly asked her and she just shook her head, looking down to the spot on the ground. “No, Cad tell me.” I touched her chin so she looked straightly to my eyes. She bit her bottom lip as a single fresh tear gently rolled down to her rosy cheek. “Charlie isn’t it?” I just sensed it, and she slowly nodded. She choked once before I slightly got up and pulled her into my chest. I rubbed her back, hoping it would comfort her.
“He…he’s so…angry….I cant go….back there…too…scared.” She stammered between her sob.
“Why is he angry?” I asked her, and she paused for several minutes to reply.
“Someone….broke….his car….he….threw all the things…..like mad…I cant….go back there.”
“What a stupid git, throw you away like this for a pathetic thingy of porsche.” I muttered. “Please, don’t cry again, you can stay in mine until he sort out his temper ok?” She nodded and I slightly pulled away, wiping the tears off her cheeks. I smiled as so did she and I stood up, pulling her along with me and walked side by side out of that space as she leant on my shoulder and my arm around her waist.

“Think you have enough.” I said, grabbing her wrist right before she downed her seventh pint of beer but then she flung my hand away.
“Mhhmm…just this one and I’ll stop.” She told me, with her eyes slightly shut then hiccupped.
“You told me that before you downed the third glass earlier.” I snatched the glass from her hand and she reached out the air to get the glass back but she was too drunk and fell on my lap.
“Oh, crap! I can drink for as much as I want and nobody would care.”
“Says who?! I care!”
“Whoops….correct that one, Jimmy would care.” She smiled as her eyes now completely shut. “Who the hell is Jimmy?”, I thought. “Hey, did you just say you care? Yay, really?” She brought her face up from my lap still with her eyes shut.
“Alright, that’s it now you go straight to bed.” I pulled her up as she hung on my shoulder so I was practically dragging her to the bedroom.
“Oh, you cheeky guy, please just don’t be so rush.” She seductively smiled and trailed down my jaw to my neck with his index finger, sending shiver through my spine.
“What do you mean?”
“God, what a funny guy you are….you wanna fuck me don’t you?” She laughed and kissed my neck as she slipped her hands into my shirt, rubbing every inch of bare skin she found there.
“No, Cadence you’re drunk.” I grabbed her hands and softly moved them out of my shirt but then she pushed me away, down to the bed and dropped herself on top of me.
“Then it’s better, I wont feel so guilty afterwards when I wake up in the morning and find myself naked beside you will I?” She smiled and leaned forward to my neck, delicately licking the skin right under my earlobe. I slightly growled but then I snapped back and tried to be as soft as I could to push her off me. But she kept firmly steadying herself on top of me and got up, sitting down on my lap. “Oh, come on! I know you want me, so stop struggling out from your own desire! Just let it down, I wanna do it with you.” She whispered the last words, strongly whipped over my heart and I couldn’t think anymore. She was right, I wanted her.

“Mhmm…” She yawned and rolled aside to me, wrapping up my stomach with her legs as she snuggled in to my chest. I looked over down to her, peeking up inside the blanket that covered her and me. I smiled, I couldn’t stand. It was heaven! I finally got it to her. I didn’t care whether it was right or wrong to shag her while she was drunk. Well, she asked me for it, although it wasn’t really her, I know, but I loved it! There was no one else I’d really love to make love with but her. She was everything to me.
“Ergh!” She panted, lightly patting down her head. “Head….hurt….” She muttered and cuddled up onto me again. “Mhhmm, Jimmy take some aspirin for me please.” She said, still half asleep. I lifted one eyebrow as I heard that name again. Jimmy? Who on earth this person is?
“God, I really have a bad hangover here.” She said, still with her eyes shut. “Oh, come on, Jim, it’s in the drawer you should just-“ She trailed off, once she adjusted her sight and could clearly see me. Her eyes quickly widened, realised of who was the person she snuggled with. Me. She yelped, hastily getting up with her hand clutched the blanket up upon her chest, sharply gazed down at me. “M…matt?” She stuttered. “Oh my god!”
“Look, Cadence it’s not like what you’re-“
“Oh my god! Did we….that….we did? No, oh god this can’t be….oh my god!” She began to be so hysterical. I could see she was almost crying as she kept shaking her head disbelievingly, firmly covered her mouth with both hands.

Charlie

“Fool! You’re a damn fool one, Charlie!” I exclaimed to myself as I hit my own head, annoyed of my own stupidity. I really can’t believe of how couldn’t I manage my own temper. Someone broke my car just almost in pieces but somehow I didn’t realise that my girlfriend was much more important than anything, neither can be compared to my Porsche, no way. And there I was, pondering myself out of the moment I lost out my control. Now she left to nowhere I knew. I was so worried.
I jumped as I suddenly snapped out from my thought by knockings on the door. I quickly walked towards the door, hoping for dear life that it was Cadence. I really can’t describe of how my heart thumped so excitedly when I found that it was her – and Matt?
“She stayed in mine last night, she really petrified and didn’t know anywhere else to go.” He told me with his flat tone.
I looked at her, standing close beside Matt as she kept looking down, as if she couldn’t bear herself to look straight up into my eyes. Her face was tears stained. I sensed there was something happened.
“Cadence, are you ok?” I foolishly asked her.
“Fuck you, Charlie! You threw her away like shit just because your stupid damn car! And now you ask her whether she’s ok?! You should be ashamed of yourself!”
“I don’t-“
“No, Matt it’s ok, it wasn’t entirely his fault.” She quietly said and slowly walked towards me. She sighed and brought her face up, smiling. “I’m ok don’t worry.” She said.
“Cadence-“ A slight confusion emerged on Matt’s face as he gazed over to her.
“Matt, please.” She said. He looked away and sighed, tapping down the floor in a quick rhythm.
“Ergh, whatever.” He said.
“I wont do it anymore, I promise. I’ll control myself, I wont let it happen again-” I swore to her and she quickly held two fingers to my lips as she shook her head.
“I trust you.” She smiled. “Really.” She added. I smiled and pulled her into my hold as I could finally be settled down. “One sec.” She said and pulled away, walking over to matt. They talked but I couldn’t hear of what they were talking about, it was like they didn’t want me to know. I still thought that there was something happened. But what was possible? I saw her shook her head as matt said something to her, pleadingly. And soon she walked back over to me as matt bit his bottom lip and left with no words, not even say a thing to me.
“What were you talking about there?” I asked her and she lifted her shoulders.
“Nothing’s important.” She simply said and convinced me by her gaze, as she could see my there-is-gotta-be-something-more expression. “Really, Charlie, please we better go inside and do something rather than talk about this all day, don’t you miss me?” She playfully twiddled with my fingers.
I grinned. “Yeah, I miss you like crazy!”
“So lets get inside I have something for you.” She smiled, dragging me in with her tight grip on my wrist.

I had sensed it since ages a go that there was something happened about her. She used to always say “yes” when I asked her out, but then she started to variate her answer by “no, I have something else to do” or “we’ll see if I have the time” or the other soft-refusal reasons. Although there was nothing changed with the way she treated me, but just somehow I felt something I didn’t know was going on. This just was so not her, she’d never been so secretive to me before. Well, I didn’t fully think she hid something from me though, I just hoped she didn’t. But we started to decrease our time to go out together, I mean we lived in the same place, in the same flat, in the same room but we didn’t even have more time to see each other anymore. Except for that full one month she was available to go out with me. Phone calls rapidly came but the line was always cut off in sudden when I picked it up until then she was the one who picked up the phone and somehow there was no more weird phone calls. And Matt; he would be so more often to come to our flat, for no particular reasons. He’d just say that he left something in our flat on his last visit but ended up finding nothing or he would say he missed me, which was impossible and doesn’t make sense at all. and the moment when matt brought her back to the flat with her face tears stained and when he left with a major disappointment shown on his face after he pleadingly said something to her. Were these cases related to each other? I wondered if they were, then what was it supposed to mean? That matt or some other guy fancied her? Well, that was possible but I didn’t want to make that as my final conclusion. Even if my assumption was true, I wouldn’t go against her because I fully trusted her. She wouldn’t do something she shouldn’t do behind my back, would she?

“Hey, what’re you doing?” She swift her hand behind and quickly held up my wrists as they nearly laced around her neck, slightly looking back to me.
I laughed and leaned forward to her ear and whispered, “You don’t think I will hurt you, do you?”
She sighed and let go of her clench on my wrists as she shifted back her sight to the gloomy orange of sunshine through the clouds as it sunk down to the flat furthest line of the ocean. I softly trailed my fingers down to her neck and dropped a white gold butterfly lion tined necklace down her shoulder blades. She breathed, looking down to where I left the necklace as I hooked the ends together.
“For the most beautiful girl in the whole world.” I whispered and landed a small kiss on her neck as I held around her waist with my arms.
“Charlie, you don’t have to-“ I hushed her.
“Don’t say anything, I want to.”
“But why? What for? I didn’t do anything for you.” She had an urge in her voice as if she didn’t like me giving her a gift. I slightly frowned, once again feeling the foreign side of her.
“You deserve it, Cadence, you even deserve more than I could ever give to you. I love you, and I wanna thank you for all the love you give to me.”
“Charlie.” She turned around, intently tried to explore my feeling by the eyes. “My god-“ She choked as a single tear slowly rolled down from her eye and she tried to look out somewhere else but not my eyes.
“Cadence, what’s wrong? What’s the matter? Do I hurt your feeling?” I clenched tight her arms as apprehension dominated my feeling.
“No, Charlie please I need to-“ She shook her head and tried to pull away from me but I wouldn’t let her go. I wouldn’t let her go with the way she was. “I don’t deserve it – I don’t deserve you.” She kept shaking her head as she still couldn’t look up to my eyes.
“What do you mean? You don’t deserve what? Please tell me, Cad, please you never hid anything from me before.”
“Charlie, please stop loving me!” She suddenly said, making me felt like turning into a numb rock.
“What?”
“I….I don’t….I cant, no….” Tears started to rapidly stream down her cheeks. I didn’t understand of what she was saying to me. She wanted me to stop loving her? “I hide something for you, Charlie. There’s something you don’t know.”
“No, Cadence you don’t know what you’re talk-“
“I know exactly what I’m talking about!” She yelled. “I should’ve not hid anything from you. You shouldn’t love me….no, Charlie you shouldn’t love me because of what I do.”
“What do you….”
“You have to know, I want to show you.” She breathed and wiped the tears off of her cheek with one quick swept. She took several steps backwards as she looked into my eyes, signaling me to follow her and she turned around, leading me forward to somewhere.