Cat's Life

Cat’s Life

It was early morning when the alarm started buzzing as it does every morning at 5:30 a.m. Scarlette was nudging her human mama to get up and feed her and her sister, Amber.

“Come on, Mama. Get up,” she meowed as she pushed her little black nose under her human mama’s arm. “Get up!”

“Stop it, Scarlette!” The human caregiver exclaimed. “Just give me five more minutes,” she pleaded as she hit the snooze alarm.

“NO!” Scarlette meowed.

“Ugh! Alright! Alright! I’m up!” The human insisted as she stumbled out of bed and headed for the bathroom. When she came out she greeted Amber with a smile and bent down to pet her. “Morning Amber.”

“Meow-ning!” Amber replied.

“You two must be hungry!”

“Meow! Meow!” They chorused as their human headed for the kitchen to feed them their cat food and fix her morning coffee.

The human scooped up some dry food, filled one bowl, and then repeated the action with another bowl as she did every morning. When she finished she leaned over to pet the little black Persian named Scarlette and then the Calico Tabby called Amber.

The girls hungrily attacked their food as their human filled their water bowls. Every morning she gave them fresh water in individual bowls just as she did their food.

“Now for some coffee,” the human stated when she had finished giving them food and water.

“Every morning it’s the same thing,” Scarlette told Amber. “We wake up Mama, eat, and then get our human brothers out of bed. When will our humans learn to take naps like we do?”

“Oh, Scarlette, give it a rest. Just be glad we have them,” Amber insisted. “I hear some cats don’t have loving families.”

“True. Well, Mama has her coffee brewing,” Scarlette stated as she began to take her bath. “Now she is going to take a shower, get dressed, drink her first cup of coffee, and check her email.”

“Yeah! Lap time!” Amber exclaimed excitedly as she paused from her own bathing efforts with a smile.

“I get the lap!”

“No, it’s my turn!”

“Mine!”

“Hiss!”

“Grr!”

“I don’t want to fight this early in the morning. Besides Mama’s not showered and dressed yet,” Amber pointed out to Scarlette.

“Well, I’m going to go sit in her chair!” Scarlette informed Amber with her nose up in the air.

“No you’re not!” Amber exclaimed angrily. “I am!”

“Phet!” Scarlette spitted.

“Oh, right! I’m bigger! When are you going to learn that I’m the head cat around here?”

“Never!”

A little cat skirmish ensued just as the human walked out of her room. “Oh come on you two! Stop it now!”

The cats continued to fight as children do, leaving the human clueless as to what they were fighting about this time.

“GIRLS!” The woman exclaimed as she grabbed the big one off the little one.

“If she wasn’t top cat around here!” Amber exclaimed to Scarlette as their human held her in her arms.

“Oh, yeah! What would you do?” Scarlette asked with annoyance.

“Um… I don’t know. She’s too big for me to fight,” Amber stated as her human continued to hold her and scold them.

“First you keep me awake all night by knocking everything off my vanity and dresser. Then you lie on my face, Scarlette, and make me sneeze with that hair of yours,” the irritated human informed them, “and now you two want to fight!”

“Put me down!” Amber insisted as she wiggled in her human mama’s arms.

“Alright,” she said as she sat Amber down and watched her scurry off in another direction. “Just leave your sister alone! I love you two, but I don’t like your fighting. Guess that is what makes you sisters though.”

“Ha Ha!” Scarlette laughed. “She got you! She got you!”

“Shut up! I’ll get you later, Runt!” Amber angrily told her. “I’m going to take a bath now.”

“Time to get up!” The human told her fifteen year old son as she banged on his door.

“What?” Came a muffled voice.

“It’s time to get up!”

“I’m up! I’m up!” Her son insisted.

“Yeah, she’ll have to bang on his door again in a few minutes,” Amber grumbled. “Either that or get a cup of water to throw in his face. Now that’s funny!”

“Yeah, it is!” Scarlette agreed with laughter.

“Hey Joe!” The mother called to her thirteen year old son. “Time to wake up!”

“I’ve been up!”

“Yeah right!” Scarlette laughed sarcastically. “He’s been up like I’ve caught a mouse this morning!”

“Tee hee hee! You’ve never caught a mouse in your life!” Amber teased. “I’ve always caught the mice and given them to Mama.”

“Leave me alone!” Scarlette pouted. “I’ll catch a mouse one of these days. You just wait and see. Then I’ll be the one giving Mama a present.”

“You and what army?” Amber continued to pester her.

The son was not up yet, but the mother turned on the computer and got herself a cup of coffee. Then she made her rounds again.

“Can I help it you’ve chased all the mice away?” Scarlette retorted indignantly.

“Time to get up!” The mother yelled as she banged on her older son’s door again.

“That’s because you’re afraid of your own shadow,” Amber bedevilled.

“I’m going to the corner,” Scarlette sulked.

“Go ahead!” Amber replied as she began to lick her paw and wipe her face. “I’m going back to my bath.”

The older son sleepily staggered out of his room and headed to the bathroom for his morning shower without saying a word. The only thing he wanted was hot water and hoped his mother had not used it all for her shower.

“Hey, Joe!” She yelled through her younger son’s door once more. “You’d better get up and be ready to get in the shower when your bother gets out!”

“I am!”

“Oh, I see where this is going this morning!” Scarlette exclaimed nervously. “I’m hiding out in Mama’s room now!”

“Scaredy Cat!” Amber accused jovially. “Scaredy Cat!”

“Yeah, but it’s kept me alive!”

The older son finally came out of the bathroom, but not without going into his brother’s room and pestering him awake. “Rise and Shine and give God the glory, glory! Rise and shine and give God the glory, glory!” He sung at the top of his lungs.

“SHUT UP, Jerk!” His little brother screamed and threw a hard object at him.

Amber sat a safe distance away and observed her human brothers, “Here we go again.”

The older brother laughed and continued his morning reveille. “Rise and Shine and give God the glory, glory!”

“Shut up, Freak!” The little brother shouted again as he threw something else at his brother. This time it hit his brother in the face.

“You’re a dead man!” The older brother exclaimed as he jumped on his brother’s bed and hit him.

Now the human children were fighting. The two human Toms’ battle was a typical occurrence, but Amber avidly watched as if she were watching two Tom cats having a brawl. However, she was careful not to get under foot during this time. The last time the boys battled they accidentally stepped on her and she cried loudly. It stopped the human males’ dispute, but her paw throbbed for a while.

“My bet’s on the big one!” Amber wagered.

There was no reply from Scarlette. She had found herself a safe hiding place and was not coming out for a while.

“HEY!” The mother exclaimed as she walked into her younger son’s room. “OW!”

One of the objects the smaller son threw hit her forehead, instead of hitting its intended target. This stopped the fight as her sons worriedly stared at their mother.

“Mom, you alright?” The older one asked with concern.

“I am this time. Now, you get to your room,” she ordered as she pointed to her older son, “and get ready for school and you, Joe, get in the shower now that you’re up and stop throwing things!”

“Told you so!” Scarlette jibed as she cautiously came out of her hiding place.

“You told me what?” Amber replied as they watched their mama going to the living room to drink her coffee and read her email.

“That I knew where it was going.”

“You never said where it was going just that you knew.”

“Give me a break!” Scarlette stated as she sauntered into the living room. Once in the living room, she hopped onto her human mama’s lap and made herself comfortable.

“Oh, Scarlette! Hi!” Mama cooed as she rubbed the Persian’s head. “How are you this morning?”

“Oh, yes! I do love the head massages,” Scarlette purred. “A little to the left. Right there! Oh yeah! That feels good!”

“Mama loves you,” she said to Scarlette.

“I love you too!” Scarlette purred contentedly. “Oh, don’t stop!”

“I need to answer this email,” she said as Scarlette tried to rub her head against her mama’s hand.

“More!” Scarlette begged.

“Oh, this is funny!” The human stated as she rubbed Scarlette’s head again. “See Scarlette? It’s a kitty holding two pails and it says, “Will work for milk”. That’s so cute.”

“Please!” Scarlette jumped off Mama’s lap. “I won’t work for anything!”

“Oh goody! I get her lap now!” Amber exclaimed and hopped onto her human.

“Hi Amber!”

“I get a head massage now,” Amber purred.

“Shut up!” Scarlette replied with annoyance.

“Oh, here’s another fanfic,” the human said excitedly. “You want Mama to read it to you, Amber.”

“Not now, maybe later,” Amber jumped down onto the floor and took another bath.

“Read it to me!” Scarlette jumped back into her lap.

The human read to Scarlette as she drunk her morning coffee until her sons came out of their rooms fully dressed. “You almost ready for school?”

“Almost,” the older one mumbled.

A few minutes later, everyone left for school or work for the day. The only ones still at home were the cats.

“Well, we have the whole house to ourselves again today,” Amber said as she jumped onto the couch and curled up for a nap.

“Yes, it’s been a long morning,” Scarlette replied as she curled up beside Amber and fell asleep.

They slept for a few minutes and then played a little. Then they took another bath and another nap, until their female human came home to feed them lunch.

“She’s home!” Scarlette exclaimed happily as she heard the key go into the lock.

“Mama!” Amber proclaimed as she jumped onto her human’s shoulder.

“Umph,” the human grunts. “Amber, you could wait until I set my things down.”

The woman petted and kissed Amber on her shoulder. The calico tabby licked her human’s cheek. Then she did her best to hug the female as she slinked around the back of her human’s neck, draping herself from one shoulder to the other.

“Hi, Scarlette!” The woman greeted the other cat.

“Meow!”

The woman tried to slide her bag off her shoulder with out disturbing Amber and causing claws to go suddenly into her back. “Have you girls been good?”

“Always Mama,” Amber purred as she rubbed her face against the woman’s head.

“Yes Mama,” Scarlette meowed as she followed the woman into the kitchen. “We’re always good.”

“Hey Mom, how’s about some of that canned cat food today?” Amber mewed.

The human got the dry food again and Amber jumped off her shoulder.

“Aw, Mom!” Amber cried as she walked over to her bowl.

The mama poured some food into their bowls and Amber sniffed it.

“I wanted canned, Mama!” The calico fumed as she walked away from her bowl.

“Oh I know what you want,” Mama stated. “You want some canned cat food, but you know that’s for your Sunday dinner and holidays.”

“You think I care what day of the week it is?” Amber whined.

“Oh, Amber, just eat your lunch,” Scarlette scolded.

“No!”

“Well girls,” Mama addressed them, “I’m going to get me some lunch and check my email again.”

“I still wanted canned food today,” Amber moped.

“Fifty-three emails! Mercy! My email groups have been busy this morning!”

“You want up on her lap, Amber?” Scarlette inquired.

“No! I’m mad because she won’t give me any canned food.”

“Suit yourself,” Scarlette jumped up on her human’s lap.

Amber begrudgingly curled up on the couch. “Why just on Sundays and Holidays? Why can’t we have canned other days too?”

“I don’t know Amber, but who’s acting like a baby now?” Scarlette retorted.

Amber frowned and laid her head on her paws. “I just want some canned food.”

The hour flew by quickly and suddenly the woman said, “Oh look at the time! I have to run girls, but I’ll be back this evening. Come on, Scarlette. You have to get up. I promise Mama will be back soon.”

“I don’t want to!”

“Come on, Scarlette. Up!”

“No.” Scarlette frowned sadly.

The woman picked her up and placed her on the floor.

“I hate being so little!” Scarlette whined.

“Oh shut up, Runt!” Amber scolded.

“I’ll be back later,” their human stated as she left again.

“Well, another afternoon by ourselves,” Amber grumbled.

“I know,” Scarlette said sadly as she curled up with her sister for a catnap.

The two girls slept quietly for a few minutes. Suddenly Scarlette tried to wrestle out from under Amber.

“Hey! Get off me, Fatso!” Scarlette said as she slapped Amber with her free paw.

“Don’t hit me!”

“Well get your big butt off me!”

“I don’t have a big butt and don’t call me Fatso!”

“I’ll call you what I feel like! Now get off me!”

“HISS!” Amber threatened as she got off Scarlette.

“Don’t you curse at me!”

“I’ll say what I want, you runt!”

“Stop calling me runt!”

“HISS!”

“Stop cussing!”

“NO! Phet!”

“Roar!”

“Oh you make a poor panther, you pussy!”

“Alright! That’s it!” Scarlette scratched Amber.

Another cat fight ensued. Amber chased Scarlette all over the house. Hissing, growling, and spitting occurred everytime Amber caught and mauled her. Suddenly Amber got her teeth into Scarlette’s throat.

“OW! OW! Stop!” Scarlette cried loudly.

“Shut up!” Amber growled as she released her sister’s throat and slapped Scarlette with her claws protruding.

Scarlette took off running again and jumped on the kitchen counter. Amber followed her and before they knew it, the carafe to their Mama’s coffee maker fell to the floor.

“You’re in trouble now!” Amber exclaimed as they looked at the broken glass and left over coffee on the kitchen floor.

“Me? You’re in trouble too!”

“OK, so we both are,” Amber agreed.

“Oh no!” Scarlette exclaimed worriedly as she heard the key go into the lock. “Mama’s home!”

“Hide!”

The woman opened the door and neither cat was there to greet her as they usually do of an evening when she came home. It puzzled her as to why they were not at the door meowing greetings to her.

“Amber! Scarlette! Mama’s home!” She called loudly.

No one came to greet her as she walked further into the house. She was thirsty so she went into the kitchen to get a soda and saw the broken glass on the floor.

“OK, which one of you did this?” The human shouted angrily.

Scarlette came out from behind the microwave. “I didn’t do it!” She meowed as she tried to look innocent.

“She did it!” Amber mewed as she came out from behind the washer.

“OK,” she said as she bent down to pick up the big pieces of glass. “You’re both in the doghouse!”

“What?” Amber asked indignantly. “I’m insulted! I didn’t do anything! Doghouse! Really!”

“Doghouse? But I didn’t mean to do it! I’m going back to Mama’s room and hide!” Scarlette moped.

“I’m going to sleep on the table!” Amber insisted as their human cleaned up the mess.

Their human brothers finally got home from school and found their mother still cleaning up the mess.

“What happened, Mom?” The older one asked.

“Oh, Amber and Scarlette broke my carafe.”

“Are you sure?”

“I came home and found it broken. They were the only one’s home,” she informed them. Then she told them about the girls hiding and coming out after she found the broken coffee pot.

After she cleaned up the glass and left over coffee that was on the kitchen floor, she saw Amber on the table. “You’re still in the doghouse and this isn’t helping. Now get off the table.”

“No,” Amber continued to lie on the table.

“Off!”

“No!”

The woman picked up the cat and placed her on the floor. “Now stay down off the counters and table!”

“Darn! I hate being a little house cat! A Tiger would be preferable,” a disgruntled calico fumed as she jumped on the bookcase.

“Get down and stay down!” the human mama scolded as she removed the cat from the bookcase.

“Yeah! Yeah! Wait until tomorrow after you leave for work!”

An hour later the human’s were eating their dinner and the girls were begging for some human food. The cats had their dinner, but they preferred what was on their human’s plates rather than in their bowls. They wanted human food almost every night because they knew they were special and demanded extraordinary treatment.

“You know the rules, Scarlette,” the woman informed her. “I eat first and you get what is left on my plate. The bigger cat always eats first.”

“I hate being little!” Scarlette whined.

“Hey, little brother!” Amber meowed. “Give me some of that cheesy stuff you have.”

“No, Amber. No!” The younger boy said in a childish voice.

“Oh come on! Give me some!” She begged as she stood on her hind paws and leaned against his leg.

“Here!” He said as he tossed her a noodle of his Fettuccini. “Now leave me alone!”

“Yum! Thank you!” She said as she went after the saucy noodle and ate it.

When the human mother was finished with her plate, she placed it on the floor for Scarlette as promised. “Here you go, Scarlette.”

“Yummy! Cheesy! Thank you, Mama!” She purred excitedly.

“OK the trash needs to go out,” she informed her sons after dinner was finished.

Her older son got the trash and started to take it out to the dumpster. When he walked out of the door Amber, who stayed in the house night and day, followed him.

“Get back into the house!” He insisted.

“No, I want to see what is out here.”

“Mom, Amber went outside!”

“OK, I’ll get her,” she sighed.

The mother walked out the door, stepped in front of Amber, and pointed toward the door, “Get back in there!”

“Yes, I guess you’re right,” Amber responded as she sniffed around the porch. Then she ran back into the house, “It’s too big of a world out here for me!”

“That’s a good girl,” the mother praised as she petted the feline. “It’s not safe out there for little girls. You could get hurt very badly.”

“I’m tough. No dog is going to hurt me!”

“Or worse yet, you could get hurt by a big car and never come home again.”

Amber’s eyes grew wide, “You mean like that giant thing that roars and you put us all in to see the doctor?”

“You wouldn’t want that to happen now would you?”

“I don’t like those things that roar,” Amber said with anxiety.

“Now, where’s Scarlette?”

“In your room,” Amber informed her.

“She’s probably hiding in my room again.”

“Didn’t I just say that?” Amber asked with irritation. “No one ever hears us when we talk!”

A few hours later, their brothers and mama went to bed. The mother had closed the door to her room and Scarlette was very upset about it.

“Let me in! Let me in!” She meowed loudly as she scratched at the door.

“Oh, Scarlette!” The mother exclaimed. “OK, Come on in.”

“Thank you,” she meowed gratefully as she strutted into the room.

The mother laid down in her bed again and Scarlette laid down beside her. The cat slept peacefully for a while, and then there were some thuds.

The mother woke up and realized it was Scarlette. She got out of bed and placed the black cat on the floor, as she exclaimed, “Not again! I’m going to throw you out if you don’t stop knocking things off my vanity!”

“Meow!” Scarlette replied innocently as she rubbed against her human’s leg. “I love you, Mama!”

The human mother tiredly ignored the cat’s affection as she laid down once more. A few minutes passed and Scarlette decided it was time to lie on the mother’s head. So she jumped back onto the bed and positioned her body exactly where she knew she would get humourous reaction from her human.

“Get off my head!”

Scarlette’s only response was to mew and walk on her human. “You’re so funny, Mama!”

“That’s it!” She declared as she picked up the cat and threw her out of the room, closing the door behind her.

“Meow! Meow!” Scarlette pleaded loudly. “I’m sorry! Please let me back in! I promise I won’t do it again!”

“Oh shut up, you baby!” Amber scolded Scarlette.

“I’m not a baby! I’m five years old!”

“Maybe in cat years, but in human years you’re still a baby!”

“AM NOT!”

“ARE TOO!”

Thus another cat fight started with loud hissing and spitting. The pattering of paws pounding on the floor seemed to vibrate all around the house. The dead of night some how made the noise of cats even louder than in the daytime.

“Just another night with cats!” The mother exclaimed to herself as she tried to go back to sleep.