Himanee

The loss was profound on her and often Himanee felt alone and lost in her thoughts and despondency. Never had she imagined it would be like this and no-one seemed to be interested in her life. Anyway, she wasn't the sort to complain and everyone was certain that Himanee was doing quite well.

So, they hardly bothered.

Maybe, they all thought it was over. In fact, it was. The break-ups were teeming with fresh pain in her heart. She wanted him back. But, she couldn't accept the end.

Back in December, when the cold dissipated by their new love and the world seemed to stop revolving, Himanee found him in her arms. Just like the thievery of robbers, their love was stolen by each other's hearts.

"I don't want this to happen again", she cried on his neck. "I love you so much, but we cannot...".

This was not the first time they had broken up. They always came together, but left...everytime.

The mornings after found her in the usual tears mixed with even stronger love. How could she leave him? She loved him. But, they told her it could never be possible. They could never share a life together as both had planned.

The secret was kept but opened only to reveal a Pandora's box of disaster. She hadn't seen him since. Wasn't it her who said, "Please don't. I cannot go on torn apart". She left...for the very last time.

He stayed. He loved her. Would he let her walk away? The pleadings resounded in her worn-out mind. "Don't leave. I love you. I will make any compromise, do anything. I need you. Let me at least have the privilege to call you."

"I can't. I'm sorry. You know how deeply I love you and you know how much I want us together. But, we live in two different worlds, you and I."

Himanee's heart weakened with all the unexpressed love she built up inside. It swelled like a wave only to weaken at the shore. The waves continued.

Finally, he called again. She knew he couldn't have forgotten her. But, wasn't it her who said no contact? She had no courage to be the one to make the first step.

He still loved her. Or did he?

"A lot has changed. I feel more prepared for this now. I'm not as naive."

"You sound like it. It's good that you feel better."

"Is there anyone new? Have you been with anyone else?"

"What do you think?"

"I think, yes. Am I right?"

"I won't answer that."

"You have then?"

He let out a low, almost feeble, "yes".

"I have to go."

Himanee's heart was pounding. How could he? He forgot all about her so easily, so quickly?

Himanee wanted to give up everything to be with him. She had already sacrificed so much; so many relationships. She loved him. It became unbearable without him. She loved him.

"I lost so much because of you. But, I didn't think of it as a loss because I had you. All those times I said goodbye were not because I didn't want you. I just couldn't have you. So I decided to give something else up so I cold have you. You are embedded in my soul. Hard as I try to take you out, you remain; as if you refuse to leave. When we were together I felt as if when God created you, he created me besides you so that you and I could always find each other. How could you have forgotten me so easily?"

She was without choice. Himanee had to accept the end. No more sacrifices. No more pain. No more love.

She still had him in her soul. He refused to leave until Himanee decided to leave that soul.