The Worst Summer Vacation

Author Note: This story was based upon the true life events that happened to me back in 1996. They have been put into a dialogue and story format to enhance them.

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"Are you sure want to hear about my worst summer vacation?" I asked my girlfriend Alex as we waited at the airport for our flight to be called.

Alexandra had bought us tickets for a trip. She refused to tell me where we were going though, instead insisting that I guess and be surprised when the flight was called. She also arranged our passports and pretty much had everything in order. Sure, she could be a bit of a brat at times, but for the most part I loved and adored her. Heck, I'm envious of her organization skills and ability at pulling things together.

"Of course silly. Besides, it's not like I have anything better to do. The flight delay is suppose to be another thirty minutes."

I nodded and turned my attention to gaze out the window. My eyes finally settling on the stunning 747.

"Funny, it started just like this trip. With a flight delay."

"Where were you going again?" She asked, a hand pushing a strand of long black hair away from her eyes.

"England. London, England. I was the only guy with a group of ten girls and two adult chaperons"

She laughed, her brown eyes wide with interest. "Ten other girls? My goodness! Now I'm really curious about what went wrong."

I turned my attention away from the plane and looked at her with my own deep hazel eyes. I shrugged my shoulders and smiled.

"Pretty much anything and... well... everything. You have to realize that this was the first time I had ever flown. I mean the very first time. As such, I was a little nervous. Granted, I was 16, but still nervous."

"That's understandable. Most people are nervous on their first flight."

"Yea, but the thing is I was hyper nervous. That first take off. Wow. The girl sitting next to me had to literally beg me to stop squeezing her hand.To make things worse, the two chicks behind me were making bets on how long it would take me to hurl in that little barf bags the planes provide."

She giggled a little. "Did you?"

"Um, No." I replied, trying to be serious, but coming across much more sarcastic then what I had intended. She batted her eyes at me, as if to say: Sorry I asked, but please go ahead and continue, I'm listening.

"At any rate. Somewhere during that first flight I quickly got over my fear of flying. Sadly, the landing we experienced did a lot to remind me of why I had those fears in the first place. As we were coming down, the plane actually tipped on the landing. We aren't talking a little wobble either. The plane landed, skidded to a stop, and then tilted sharply to the right. Thankfully, we had arrived safely. Needless to say, I was glad it would be another ten days before I had to take another flight."

"Wow! So that's why that vacation was so horrible. All the flight trouble."

"Er, no. That was only the start of the most God awful vacation I've ever had in my life. See, when we exited the plane, it was pouring down rain."

"Well duh, it does rain in England." She played with me.

"Yea, ok. But for ten days straight? I mean come Alex, that's ridiculous."

I could see her break into a smile. She was trying so hard to be nice and not laugh.

"So we all take the bus to our hotel. We sat on the top deck. Over there, buses have like a lower level and an upper level. Yea, well the girls I sat with were constantly making jokes about how being on top was so much better, if you know what I mean."

Alexandra raised an eyebrow. "And how old were you guys again?

"I was 16, they were between the ages of 18 and 22. Needless to say, I learned that, yes, girls do talk about sex just as much as boys do. In fact, I was almost appalled at just how much detail they would go into! My innocent little ears weren't ready for such information!"

Alex smiled. "Innocent eh? Mmmhmm. If you say so dear."

"The point is, we eventually got to our hotel. Only... well... the hotel wasn't there. In place of the hotel was an empty run down building that looked like it had seen better days. When we asked for directions to the hotel we were informed that this was it. It had burned down the night before our arrival. We were told they still had rooms we could sleep in, but it would be tight quarters. You want to know just how tight? Right... we all ended up stuck in a basement for the stay of our journey. Not exactly what I would call first class service."

"Oh my gosh, you've got to be kidding me!"

"Oh, I wish I was. I swear on my grandmother's grave that this is all true. It gets worse. The next day we take a bus to see Big Ben. We all get out, walk around, and enjoy ourselves. You know, like you're supposed to do on a tour. Well, when we get back to the bus we see police officers standing around it. Apparently our bus driver had doubled parked and was being arrested. That was the longest walk home I think I've ever had in my life."

Alex couldn't help herself. She started laughing. The image of a big burly bus driver being taken away and a tour group being told they would have to find some other way home just caused her to roll with laughter. I just sat there, my nose twitching. The memories were causing me to become uncomfortable. Though funny to the casual observer, these events really had been quite traumatic for me.

"Is there more?" She finally asked after she had calmed down.

I stared at her."Yes."

"Yes?" She started laughing again.

"Yes. There's more. Did you know that in England nobody actually speaks English? I swear Alexandra, there are like over 1000 different languages there. The third day me and my group got lost. Do you think we could get easy directions back to our burnt to a crisp hotel? No! Of course not! Every person we asked spoke some language other than the English language. Hello?! England? English? Yea, ok... no!"

She was rolling with laughter again. I didn't wait for her to stop this time. I just kept going with the little rant that I was now on.

"We finally get home after many long hours of trying to communicate. Only to discover, the next day, that our tour guide wasn't legally employed to be working as our tour guide. Yep, so we were now without a tour guide in a city that was larger than most of the towns that we came from."

"Oh this is a real gem of a story" she was able to get out as she continued to laugh.

"The day we decide to go to the theater, there just happens to be a traffic jam. That means we end up being late and don't get to see the show. Do you know what was playing Alex? It was Phantom of the Opera. Do you know who was suppose to be in it? Michael Crawford. I missed it because of a wonderful English traffic jam."

She put her hand on my shoulder and gave me her most adorable "Awww" I could tell she wasn't being serious though. She was giving me the baby treatment. I shrugged it off and continued with my story.

"Thankfully, most of the rest of our stay was ok. That is until we decide to go home. At the airport we encounter an eight hour plane delay. That in and of itself was a pain in the ass. Here's the real kicker though. As we get into the air after the take off, the captain comes on the loud speaker and apologies for the plane delay, telling us that they needed to repair engine number 4, since it had failed in the previous flight. As we're nearing Boston the next day we feel a shake and a rumble. Everyone is all panicky and worried. Captain comes on and tells everyone 'Well Folks, looks like we've just loss engines 2 and 3. We are going to be attempting to make an emergency landing in Boston. Please put your chairs in the upright position and brace yourselves."

"Oh no!" Alex gasped, a hand moving to cover her wide open mouth, again in a mocking way.

"Oh yes. We land, obviously safe as I'm still here to tell this tale. Thankfully, we got out of Boston early the next day and I arrived back here in one piece. I swore I'd never go back to London again. A promise I fully intend to keep."

"All passengers for flight 317 to London may now begin boarding."

"Let's go" Alex smiled gleefully as she took my hand and pulled me up, my nose starting to twitch, and a new found fear settling into my heart.