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Rated: 13+ · Script/Play · Comedy · #997512
A small midwestern town is abducted by aliens.
Second Episode: Attack of the Drones.


The Music, "R.E.M. It's the end of the world" Plays

A flying saucer passes in front of the moon and the camera followsit revealing a small highway with a green road sign that reads "welcome to springwood falls unincorperated" the camera moves rapidly down the road, entering the town.

A huge tital wave rolls down main st. we arrive at the courthouse where shadows of robots loom on the wallin the torchlight. Dr. Q suspiciously waddlesoff into the forest towards a light. wolf-man crashesout of the screen of the drive-in theater that is playing Frankenstein vs. the Wolf-man. The Professor sets off an explosion in his lab. Pirate Pete steps out of his diner and the Koala says Stanley wants a cracker!" A meteor hits the town. Dust flies up in the air.

The Legend, "Doominaton" appears.
The Legend, "Attack of the Drones" appears.

[Night time] pans downward from a star filled sky to show the small town, as the camera pans down we see a U.F.O. fly into and past the screen, as it flys past and Night turns to Day.

INT. News Building - Day

There is a man sitting behind a news desk with a news background behind him, the man is holding a couple pieces of paper in his hands.

ROBERTO
This is Roberto Gigas Fletcher Mimsie Hernendez Reporting
on Hurricane Alan here in our sleepy little town.
As Hurricane Alan Heads this way
" But Only GOD knows how that could be possable."
{says with a mumble}
The Mayor has called a important meeting just out side of town,
Lets go to our lead reporter who's at the location right now,
Over to you Roberto.

EXT. Desert- Morning

ROBERTO
I'm just out side of town where a crowd has gathered,
looks like the whole town is there for this big anouncment ;

The camera pans through the crowd as you hear a voice in the background.

VOICE
First of all, Thank you for Voting
for me in this last election, it was a tough
race against my opponent Aussie P.

AUSSIE P.
I would have made a good mayor says I.

MAYOR
But I digress, now for the moment we've
all been waiting for...Drum roll please.

camera pans onto a huge object with a curtain draped over it.
[person on a drum set does a rim shot]

MAYOR
I said drum roll, not rim shot!

Screen rolls past the stage as one of the drums rolls by on it's side.

MAYOR
Whatever, Just unveil it.

[The curtain drops to reveal...]

CROWD
A BILLBOARD!!??

H.H.
Well Golllly.

MAYOR
Not Just any Billboard,
The worlds Largest billboard!

Close-up on H.H.
H.H.
Yep that's what it says, and as my
Pappy used to say "If you can't trust what's
written on a billboard, or what's on Reality T.V.
Or what a polly-tision says what can you trust?"

Pan up onto the billboard that reads "welcome to Springwood Falls, Home of the worlds largest Billboard and candy cane collection!"

Everyone starts walking away not that impressed with it.

AUSSIE P.
I skipped work for this?
Oh God,the Diner!
I'm missing the lunch rush,
they'll be so mad!

The Screen flashes to Timmy standing in front of the door.

TIMMY
(looking at his watch and coffee pours out Timmy starts crying)
where is he? I'll miss the unveiling!

Back To crowd walking away >

MAYOR
Wait there's more..

Everyone Groans and starts waking back except the Diner owner who you can see running back through town , you hear his voice faintly in the background "I'm coming Timmy".

{Cut to Timmy who is outside Aussie P.s Dinner}

MAYOR
Since our Resident Doctor;
Doc. Geomatti has past away...

Faint voice of Geomatti in the background
I ain't dead yet!

MAYOR
I have taken the liberty of picking a doctor,
A highly recommended Doctor from Alaska,
and one that we could afford in our budget;
I'm Pleased to announce DR. Quack Quack!

The camera shows the crowd applauding, The applause starts to die down when they see who they're new doctor is.

The camera turns to reveal that it is a Penguin in a tux, top hat and monocle.
The Penguin waddles over to the micraphone.

Dr. Q
Wa Wa Wa Wa Quack Quack Wa, Wa Wa Wa!

[Translation reads on the screen as DR.Q speaks}

I will take over this town and all of you
shall be my minions doing my bidding in
a few short months, Quack Quack!

MAYOR
YES! Well, thank you Dr. Q for that interesting;
speech as it were,
Did you catch what he said Hatta?

Zooms to Hatta the mayor's aid on the side of the stage.
Hatta shrugs his shoulders.

MAYOR
That is all, OH and in case all of you
were wondering why I'm not here...

Whip cut to a pole with a speaker on it.

MAYOR
I'm in a very important meeting with another Mayor now
but I wanted to take some time for YOU,
The voters and also I took the liberty of putting in these
speakers so I can speak to all of you when I cannot be
around "FOUR" {faint whack of a golf ball being hit is heard}
for special events such as this;
thank you for your support and have a good day.

FAINT VOICE
Nice recovery.

MAYOR
Thanks Herb, I knew I'd make it on the green.

MAYOR HERB
Not that you moron, the events thing!

MAYOR
OOPS is this blasted thing still on?
aahhh have a nice day everyone.

Scene 2
MAN
Hey, where's everyone going?

2ND MAN
The professor is making an announcement.

fade to professor and HH. On a stage in the town square.

PROF.
Check, check, Cash, Check, 123....
Yes well Hello Everyone,
We are gathered here today to Announce
that H.H. and I have been hired by the mayor
to plan and build a city wide development system
and should be running in a few minutes;
are there any questions?

{a hand raises in the crowd}

PROF.
No one? Great lets move on then,
I want to tell you about the city wide system
we call M.I.N.D.M.E.L.D.
Mental Intelligence narrating Detroid Maintenance
Efficiency Lateral Device.
We Just cal him MEL for short.
H.H., Will you turn MINDMELD on please?

H.H. Flips a switch in a electrical box and a glowing red eye {ala Flight of the navigator/ Star wars} blinks on.

MINDMELD
{Sounds like Hal 2001 space odyssey}

Hello Springwood falls Dave,
My inventor taught me my first song;
would you like to hear it?

{starts singing a heavy metal song}

PROF.
That's nice, also I would like to bring to
your attention that we have built what's called
“the universal Factory” Located just next to
my house Professor Prothatious.
Whenever you need something just go over to
the many control panels located around the city.

{Show the locations of the control boxes}

PROF.
Now there are a few rules before you all use the
boxes that you must know.

{walks over to the left of the screen to a group of people like in Family feud}

PROF.
Hello Voice 1 Were looking for the
top 5 things that Could cause this
machine to malfunction.

Characters all start shouting out answers to voice 1>

VOICE 2
Dropping Liquid on it!

VOICE 3
Pushing all the buttons!

VOICE 4
Peanut butter!

VOICE 5
Giant Magnet!

Voice in the crowd
Pick Door 3

2nd voice in the crowd
NO trade the box,
TRADE THE BOX!!

PROF.
Ok times up voice 1
what do you say?

VOICE 1
uummm I'm going to say...
Pushing all the Buttons!!!

{smiling and clasping hands together in excitement}

PROF.
Survey Says!!

{points up to the board from Family Feud and answer flips over to the second flap}

PROF.
Not bad , but we need the number 1 answer.
Lets go to family 2.

{Looks over at the other table and sees skeletons}

PROF.
the top answer being of course dropping liquid
on the machine.
Ok let's get started shall we?
{Prof walks over to the machine and pushes a button and talks into the machine and the machine starts going and then you hear a ding like a microwave}
VWALA a simple yo-yo.

The crowd starts running to be the first to try it out and get in line.

Scene 3

Swipe to Dinner in Super friends fashion>
: Meanwhile Back at the hall of Justice AQUA-man Is making a Mustard and Sardeen sandwich.

AQUA-MAN
Man this is going to be a great sandwich Batman.
{Aqua man starts putting Mustard on the top}
"A little Mustard" Puts the top slice of bread on and
a puff of smoke overshadows the screen and clears up
as you see batman running off through the door in the
background.
{Dinner owner comes in the room out of breath}

AUSSIE PETE
I'm sorry Timmy I was at the...
Wait-a-second.

AQUA-MAN
Take a wrong turn again?

AUSSIE PETE
Yeah, you got my tuna?

AQUA-MAN
Yeah I sort of feel bad betraying
them like that. {looks up}
Swipe to flashback>

{Aqua man is swimming with a school of fish}
AQUA-MAN
Ok Kids are you ready to go on your field trip
to sea world?

SCHOOL OF FISH
YEAH!

AUSSIE PETE
{shaking his head with his hat over his gut}
Poor, Poor Tuna;
{cheering up} Well Just have them sent to the back door
of my place, The Tuna shipping tax is really cheap
right now so we both should make a good profit.
{looks at watch and the Diner owner franticly runs back the other way)

Scene 4
Swipe fade into a Big office>
Hatta is standing Next to a big desk with various Items, phone, Red Swingline stapler.. Ect.

VOICE OF THE MAYOR
What's on the Roster today?
{The chair is facing the window and only the back of the chair is visable}

HATTA
Well there's the matter of the tuna shipping tax

MAYOR
Raise it.

HATTA
The Money to upgrade the Levy for this year came in
should I put the money into effect to get started right away,
because you know every year the flooding from Springwoodfalls
before and..
{the mayor interrupts}
MAYOR
No; no need to do that Because I've decided to use it
for a marti-gra fountain this year.

HATTA
But sir if we don't take care of things the town could
flood and.. you remember the snakes on that airplane.

MAYOR
We can talk about semantics later
right now I've got a city to run,
now what are some of the other things
on the agenda?
How is that Mayors eat free at the town
Diners Bill coming along?

HATTA
People say they don't want to pass it
because you proposed it.

MAYOR
I thought that might happen,
have you gotten a chance to look over the road
work proposal yet?

HATTA
Not yet sir.

MAYOR
good then just send it
over to the coucil to sign right away.

HATTA
Don't you want me to proof read it sir?

MAYOR
No I'm sure it will be fine,
I used my computer.

{mayor at his desk typing and then he pushes his monitor off the side of the desk like a type writer.}

HATTA
Umm Sir,
do you remember the last time you passed
a proposal without anyone looking it over?
there were typo's all over the place and...

MAYOR
Yes, yes; and that's why we ordered 200
snow blowers instead of snow makers.

HATTA
Exactly, it ALMOST cost last years budget entirly.

MAYOR
What? I made it right.

HATTA
Sir, a snowcone maker doesn't substatute for a snow
maker, plus it doesn't help it's made by Mattel either.

MAYOR
Well after sucking up the budget with the snow blowers
what else could we afford?

HATTA
Anyway sir,
what does the new proposal say,
Just Give me the jist of it.

MAYOR
Well it Basicly says to fix the potholes
on loral and Hardee.

HATTA
Good.
You know how bad that's gotten.

MAYOR
Darn right I do.

A Limo driving down the road and trys to swerve but falls down enormous hole taking up the entire road, Mayor jumps and rolls out of the limo Just before it drives into the pit.

MAYOR
I sure miss that driver,
it was his last day too,
said something about going to FL for retirment.
{shakes his head}

HATTA
Well sir I was surprised he was your driver at all,
he was LEGALLY blind!

MAYOR
The man had a binding contract Hatta,
Plus, I believe in equal --opportunity--
and to be fair his Dog did most of the guiding,
I always thought of him as sort of our Free GPS Dog,
Much better then that stupid horse.

HATTA
Actually Sir,
Horses are proven to be keener
and easier to train then Dogs.

MAYOR
For one thing Hatta,
Saliden didn't fit into the limo very well,
and secondly he was a lush!!

HATTA
Saliden?

MAYOR
The Horse Hatta,
Pay attention!
Also you know the phrase
"all roads lead to rome."

HATTA
Yes Sir I do,
But that won't work because one we're
thousands of miles from rome and it would
take a very long time and we don't have that
kind of money.
Anyway sir I need to go get ready for the Mindmeld
inspection.
{Hatta walks out the door}

MAYOR ON THE PHONE
Tell the contractors that project rome is posponed
also tell the billboard guys to stop production.

Scene 5

{Fade to diner}

Everyone is sitting around the diner and camera pans around the room and back to the front of the diner looking out of the window to the outside as a car jars to a halt and you see a woman get out and start screaming at the car.

The woman walks into the diner {the camera focus' on her face as she walks in}

WOMAN
Excuse me
{hand raised trying to get the owners att. as he walks past her two times to busy to see her.}
(the woman is dressed in shorts and a tank top)

PROF
Can I help you my dear?

WOMAN
Do you know where I can fill up?

PROF
Yes, Your here,
Best Coffee in town you know,
of course theres no other restaurants
here either so I would say that's pretty
accurate wouldn't you? {laughs a strange laugh}

WOMAN
I'm looking for a gas station.

PROF
Oh yes, of course you are.

WOMAN
AANNNDD?

PROF
what?

WOMAN
Where is it?

PROF
Where's what Now?

WOMAN
I just need a place to get gas!

AUSSIE P.
order my atomic Donkey,
that always gives Tom over there gas,
RIGHT TOM?

TOM
Yep!

Owner nods his head and yells at the cook in the back

AUSSIE P.
One atomic Donkey burrito.
I remember the first time I ever served it,

Flashback

{VO. AUSSIE}

I was working on my pie'rate ship as CAPTAIN slash COOK, My men were getting hungry and...
{VO WOMAN}
If you were the captain why didn't make someone else cook?

{VO AUSSIE}

Because, I was the captain and I loved to cook, and the fact that our last cook never ate enough limes, the poor soul.
anyway there I was scrounging around for ingredints and the men were begging for Mexican food.
Since we didn't have any Mexican People aboard to cook I tryed to make burritos.

Men sitting at a long table are being served down the line.

AUSSIE
Here you go men, enjoy it,
because it may be our last.

{One Man starts to take a bite when AUSSIE Interupts}

AUSSIE
Now let's not Forget to say grace
Mr. Glassjawe, Just because we're
pirates does'nt mean we cant thank the lord
for all the Booty we have aquired..
fade Back to Jimmy

Jimmy: No I'm not Hungry, I need it for my car.

Owner: Nix the Donkey
{Off screen}Cook: Free food!! {you hear a explodsion in the background with a scream} Cook: Now that's a spicy Meatball!

Prof: what is that contraption out there?

Woman: That's my car, don't you guys have any cars here?

Prof: Only the mayor up until his limo got consumed by hardee.

Woman: What the actor?

Prof:I can convert your automobile to run on a helium by-product!

Jimmy: No, Thanks though.

Prof: It's ok my dear, really, I subscribe to Make magzine and Science Guy Monthly.

-Insert Break here
Scene 6

open fade to mel.

two Kids are standing in front of Mel and are fighting and changing they're order.

Mel starts to studder with rage and tells the kids to make they're mind up.

Kid 1 is a little boy in overalls and kid 2 is a little girl with pigtails and a teddybear under her arm.

Boy:Ma ma ma make up your mind. {In a mocking tone}

Girl: I want my teddybear to be ALIVE .

Boy: I want a suitcase of marmalade!

{the kids fight back and forth and the boy pushes the Girl into the panel and Mel shorts out and powers down and the kid kicks Mel}

Boy: Your no fun anymore.

Mel starts up again
Mel: Suitcazzee Ttteddyy

Out of the machine comes a cute looking teddybear with button eyes and a suitcase, The Teddybear jumps up and starts walking at the kids.

Suitcase Teddy: Marmalade!?

Girl: awww he's sooo cute.

Boy: Give me my Marmalade!
© Copyright 2005 Joshua B. (penny at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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