Late Night Food Delivery

“Hifty-free dah-lah.”

“Did you say fifty-three dollars?”

“Yah. Hifty-free dah-lah.”

“How can it cost that much?

“Hifty-free dah-lah! Whats probrum?”

“What’s the problem? I’ll tell you what’s the problem. Let’s look in here. Let’s see, there’s an order of kung pao chicken, that’s maybe seven bucks…an order of sweet-and-sour pork, which is probably another seven bucks, making that fourteen dollars so far—“

“Hifty-free dah-lah!!”

“Waitasecond, pal. I’m not finished. So, that’s fourteen dollars, plus an order of steamed dumplings, which is six bucks, so that makes it…twenty…and two orders of steamed rice, which is a buck a piece, which should bring the grand total to…dut-duh-dud-dah! Twenty-two American dollars, ladies and gentlemen.”

“No hifty-free dah-lah, no food!”

“C’mon, pal. Why are you charging me over double the price?”

“Rate-night dereevery chaj.”

“I assume you meant ‘late night delivery charge.’”

“Yah! Rate-night dereevery chaj!”

“This is highway robbery, buddy! You can’t do this!”

“No mahnee, no food! Bye-bye!”

“Wait, wait!! Alright, I’ll pay you, but you’ve gotta cut me a deal here, man. I know it’s eleven o’clock, and I’m starving, but you can’t charge me fifty-three dollars for just this amount of food. C’mon, man…”

“….Oh-kay. Sirtee-free dah-lah.”

"Thirty-three?!"

"Bye-bye."

“Fine, wait! Geez...You know you’ll do good on the stock market floor. You’re a shark, that’s what you are…”

“Wha?”

“Nothing...Here’s your thirty-three dollars.”

“Senk you. Com ah-gen.”

“Yeah, I’ll come again…wait! There’s no fortune cookies.”

“Ten dah-lah chaj.”

“Pfft! Forget it…”

*** Contest Winnner for 03/18/06 "The Dialogue 500" . It has 292 words. ***