The Wandering Inn Sucks

In a world where there billions of users on thousands of platforms, all with something to say, I think we could use less wandering overly lengthy and poorly written writing.

I'm talking about the 13,000,000 word serial story The Wandering Inn, written by a group of kids that have named themselves Pirarebae.

I'm going to be brusquely honest. As an emerging writer myself and editor, who's had a crack at editing works that sit at 30,000 words, I can say that I struggled to get through even the first sentence.

The premise sounds great, it's a story about a wandering inn. My first impression was a Howls moving Castle spin off. It's set in the country side, the main character becomes an inn keeper, which reminds me of The Steerswoman series where the story (much like the Canterbury Tales) begins at an inn. It's got potential but it's poorly executed.

The first line is passive and too vague. To quote from one of the best, Colum McCann, it doesn't open my rib cage. "The inn was dark and empty when the traveller arrived." Who? What? Why aren't we immediately put in the point of view of the protagonist, even if we are in limited third person.

Second sentence: "It appeared suddenly, rising above the gentle hills and valleys of autumnal grass that blew in the wind, green orange and even purple in places". What? Where's the grammar editing?

They've used a seriously awkward comma splice and modified the sentence with a huge dangler. "...that blew in the wind, green orange and even purple in places." Huh? What blew in the wind? You've lost us.

Only use words like autumnal unless you want to completely bore the reader to sleep.

It doesn't show the reader anything. Why don't you show us that the grass is orange, purple and green, instead of telling us it's autumnal? By the time you've told us what it looks like you've lost the readers cognition to connect the two without thinking about it like an editor. The colours subconsciously connect to the Inn or 'it'. Was the rising Inn green, orange and purple? I don't think that was their intention but this is was happens when you publish without editing. It's fine if you don't understand he basics of grammar. Writing stories should be for everyone, and grammar is an advanced skills that editors charge people thousands to do, so I'm not saying it's easy. But at least some effort here would show that you care more about yourself than the reader to whom you've subjected this trash too.

And please don't use the word 'suddenly'. What are are we in Grade 3 on a Monday morning writing about our weekend?

The point of view kind of bothers me. From whose point of view are we seeing the "rising" through? Surely the inn didn't rise on it's own, as if it were levitating on the hill. The writer is trying to say it rose in view of the traveller, but doesn't. Our character, has disappeared from our minds eye, when they should be the ones introducing us to the Inn. Take Garth Nix in Sabriel. "The rabbit had been run over minutes before. Its pink eyes were glazed and blood stained its clean fur." We're immediately transported to this dead rabbit. Easy, short sentences. There's no fluff and no ado. He goes on, "Unnaturally clean fur for it had just escaped from a bath. It still smelt faintly of lavender water." Then he introduces the character. "A tall curious pale young woman stood over the rabbit." Point of view. The traveller, in the Wandering Inn instead is just an awkward character-place holder for something eventual but not developed enough to lead the story.

Third sentence, second paragraph: "the rolling plains were deceptive from afar." The definition of a plain is a large flat area with little trees. So they how can they roll? Plains by definition are not boulders covered with earths green carpet. They are not hills and the interpretation of "rolling hills" is to say that the hills are coming one after the other that they are almost in motion, that they are in fact rolling. But they were "deceptive from afar"? Do these people know what it is they're even saying? Then they've used plain again in the following sentence, which can be fine in some cases, but I'd say it's overkill here, because there's already so much going on with the imagery. Then they've changed the POV from third to second.

I guess one thing is for sure, that if you don't think you're shit then I guess you can do anything. And when I say anything I mean execute 13,000,000 words on a single story without an editor.

This is the writers getting their story out of their minds eye and onto paper. No member of the public should be subjected to this, despite it's acclaim on Youtube and other places.