The Refund

The Refund
         
         
         "As I was saying, Trish, so Gary came over last night for our date, and when he arrived, just guess what he was wearing. Now, Fridays have always been our date night, so he knew we would go out to a fancy restaurant- you know, the kind where they have cloth napkins- fancy, huh?"

         "Oh, my word, don't tell me he forgot. Just don't tell me that."

         "He forgot. At least, that is what he says. I, of course, don't believe him. Guess what his excuse was? Just guess."

         "I dunno...he was busy at work?"

         "I wish it was that. No, he says-wait a sec, I have a customer. I'll tell you in a couple of minutes. Good afternoon. Did you find everything you wanted?"

         "Actually, I want to return an item. I couldn't carry it alone, so some people here are bringing it in on a platform dolley."

         "I understand what you're saying. My husband, Gary, can't carry anything over fifty pounds--lousy prostate. Do you have a receipt? While we wait for your item, I can start ringing it up."

         "See, that's the thing, it was a gift from my now ex-girlfriend for the holiday. She bought it for our fifth anniversary. We had a terrible fight, and I broke up with her. I don't have the receipt."

         "How precious. Was your anniversary over the holiday? That is so special. Gary bought a ham and gave it to me to cook."

         "Thank you. But we broke up, and I do not want the hideous thing anywhere around me."

         "I am so sorry about your breakup. My friend, Eileen, left her boyfriend because he got a tattoo of a guinea pig on his forehead. It wasn't even a good tattoo because there was no resemblance to a guinea pig. It looked more like a sick rabbit."

          "Look, they are bringing it to me right now. I want to return it for either store credit or cash. Can we stay focused on this?"

         "Where? I don't see television or recliner on a dolley. Oh my word, Trish, would you look at that? Someone bought our Hugo the Panda. I wonder who bought that and why? Did you sign up to be on the betting pool of when it would be sold? Next break, I have to see who won. The buyer must have the worst taste possible. Why would anyone buy that? Trish, if they come to your lane, ask'um who that is for and what made them buy it."

         "Excuse me, Miss, that is what I am returning. That is my item."
         "No, you're joshing me. Did you hear that, Trish? His girlfriend bought this for him as an anniversary present over the holiday. Ha, I know that look. You're naughty."

         "Can we get on with the return? I want this to be over, and I want to forget about the whole thing."

         "You're absolutely right. I think it is gaudy and pretentious. I completely understand. When did you receive this? I know it was an anniversary gift, poor thing; however, I need to know the date it was bought. It had to be on my day off- I would certainly remember that leaving the store."

         "I am not sure when she bought this. Our Anniversary was December 28th. It had to have been before that."

         "Uh-huh, I see. Can I see the receipt?"

         "As I stated, I don't have the receipt. My girlfriend bought it. I wasn't there."

         "So, she bought it, and you want to exchange it."

         "No, I don't want to exchange it..."

         "So, why did you lug it here if you want to keep it? That makes no sense."

         "I don't want it. I want to bring it back to where my ex-girlfriend bought it. I want a refund."

         "Oh, why didn't you say so? Do you have the receipt?"

         "Are you even listening to me? I don't have the receipt. This oversized monstrosity was a gift. I hate it."

         "That's a rotten thing to say about a gift from your girlfriend. Shame on you. Are you listening to this, Trish?"

         "Is there anyone else I can talk to about this? Maybe a manager or supervisor. I am clearly not getting anywhere with you."

         "Sorry. The manager is out of the store on an extended medical leave and won't return until later next year. Marsha, the supervisor, is off for the next three days."

         "Then who is in charge? I want to talk to them."

         "Not a problem. You can do that."

         "So, where are they? I want this returned, and I should get compensated for all the trouble you are giving me."

         "It's me. I am the person who you need to talk with. How can I help you?"

         "I want to return this stupid eight-foot, four-hundred-pound panda. It is that simple."
         "Without a receipt, you can't."

         "What? Why can't I? You said earlier I could."

         "Store policy. If you don't have a receipt, no exchange is possible. It states that on the wall by cashiers. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

         "You haven't helped me with anything. Look, I only want to get rid of the stuffed panda. I don't want any hassle. Can't you bend the rule a little bit?"

         "Have you thought of giving it back to your girlfriend?"

         "Ex-girlfriend and I don't want to see her anymore."

         "Maybe you should talk to her about this. Make amends. You never know. She might take you back/."

         "I broke up with her. Just refund the money for this stupid eight-foot-tall, four-hundred-pound piece of crap!"

         "I am hearing a lot of hurt in your voice. Give her another chance."

         "That's it! Keep the stupid bear. I don't want to deal with you or this store anymore. Keep it!"

         "Did you hear the last customer I had, Trish? Poor guy. He didn't even know the difference between a panda and a bear. No wonder his girlfriend dumped him."



Word Total: 997