How To Get Rid of A Present

"Excuse me. Pardon me," I muttered as I bumped and jostled my way into the store heading for the returns counter.

"So sorry." I added when a particularly large man nearly got bumped over. He gave me a glare that could melt ice.

I waited in line. Stepping up to the counter and almost falling over my feet as the huge eight foot panda I carried threatened to take me down. I had no doubt I would not land softly on his enormous black and white body. A cruel twist of fate would have me landing in a puddle of embarrassment.

Above me, his smile beamed out over the crowd. "why'd it have to be so busy?" I muttered into his artificial fur.

"Excuse me?" the woman behind the counter looked round to me. I shifted to get a better look at her.

"Sorry. I've come to return this panda bear. It arrived at my house for Christmas and I really have no place for it or need of it."

"Who needs a panda that size?"

"No one I know. I swear it was supposed to be funny, but I can't possible keep it. My apartment's the size of a postage stamp. With this sitting in the corner I can't move around. And the eyes..." I shuddered remembering waking to those eyes and that smile staring ominously at me.

"Well, we don't sell... those here."

"My cousin said he bought it here."

She shook her head unable to take her eyes off the panda as I set it down on the floor beside me.

"We don't sell..."

"He may have got it online, but I felt it would be far easier to just bring it in here. Get my money back."

The woman shook her head. "Anything bought online has to be sent back. We don't do exchanges or refunds for those orders."

"But it will cost me a fortune to pack it up and send it back..."

"I'm sorry, sir. I can't help you."

"Well, could I just leave it here."

"Oh no." she shook her head, "that would not do."

"I don't need the refund or even a gift card, just donate it."

"We can't do any of that, sir."

"But..."

"You will have to take it with you, I'm afraid."

I was tempted to leave it and run, but I'm sure this woman would remember me. How many people walk in with an eight foot panda.

Seeing me hesitate, she said, "you cannot leave it here, sir. We can't possibly take it back or give a refund on something we don't sell.... in the store."

"Fine," I grumbled as I turned from her. Grabbing the panda by his ear I began to drag him back through the line to the exit.

People grumbled their discontent. I was tired of apologizing. Tired of these crowds. Tired of all of it.

It took me twenty minutes to get out of the store.

"What the Sam Hill am I going to do with this dang thing?" I muttered as I flopped down on panda's lap.

People stared at me as they went by.

"Daddy, Daddy. Look a panda. Can I get one. Daddy?"

"No darling. You don't need a panda that size -"

"But Daddy, I want a panda like that."

Inspiration struck and I pushed up to standing. "It's for sale." I called out before they entered the store.

The wee girl grabbed at her father's hand. "Please Daddy. I just have to have it."

The father looked resigned as he looked over. "How much?"

Drawing myself up to my full height I said as confidently as I could, "Just fifty dollars, sir."

"Daddy, please." The wee girl drew out the plea and her father closed his eyes.

I held me breath. Maybe I'd asked too much. Been too greedy.

"Fine," he said fishing out his wallet.

When they walked off with the panda I restrained myself from dancing. I'd make fifty bucks on a stupid stuffed toy. Without waiting for them to change their minds I sprinted for my car and got the heck out of there.

word count = 688 words.

Notes ▼

Written for "The Bard's Hall Contest"  and for January's entry into Contest Challenge
This month's prompt: January 2025 is Dialogue ... Plus

Some descriptive narrative may be added waiting in line, but the "meat" of it must be in dialogue, while at the counter to return a giant, 8 foot panda received as a holiday gift ... and, trying to convince the cashier to take it back, please!