I will be that artist forever

How does it feel to give up on something that we truly want? There are many restrictions as if the world doesn't want you to do that thing. But your heart is screaming, asking you to try again if there is a way to do it.

I love doing theatre but it's not my degree but a hobby. As an aspiring engineer, I should focus on my academics but theatre is what makes my overthinking attain peace. It brings stability to my restless mind. But alas I can't do it right now and maybe not in future. The funny part is I chose my degree not because my parents forced me but because I wanted to do it. It's not that I am not good at studies but just so good at theatre. I knew it even before I went for graduation but still decided not to choose theatre, as it wouldn't give me a safe future.

And now, when I won't be doing theatre further, I just think about those days, the beautiful memories. Sometimes, I think about those people who are able to do theatre, though they come from different educational backgrounds, and feel bad for myself. Then I think about those people who buried their wish to do theatre once under societal pressure. They live their dreams in someone else's success. And so I am from now onwards.

I feel lucky that I was able to do theatre and experience it. But my desires go on increasing. And now I think I should stop. Maybe in the next life when I will choose my career as a theatre artist I will fulfill my desires. Or maybe in a parallel universe, I will be living as a theatre artist. Or maybe through my friends, I will be living in that dramatic world. Or maybe in those plays and artists, I will be living as a theatre artist. But my heart will always keep singing the song that my life composed on stage. I will surely become a good engineer but deep inside I will be that artist forever...