Melting Ice, Blooming Life

In the middle of this endless field , I look up to the sky
Snowflakes are falling slowly, beautifully
They touch my nose , I giggle
"How harmless", I think to myself
Then I look down , to the ground
My feet are burried deep into this thick pile of snow
It's cold, I can't move
I'm freezing , I'm dying
Who made this ? Those snowflakes ? Those harmless little things ? Damn it...
Or is it...me ? Because I didn't know, because I didn't save myself sooner
I got tricked. Or did I trick myself ?
I'm freezing, I can't move, I'm dying
This field, my life ..can I save it ? Should I start by apologizing to myself ?
I thought I know it all
I thought I can handle it
I overstimated myself, I let my own eyes and brain trick me
Because it was vast, because I was looking at the sky, the same one covering everyone else, because I thought those struggles are not special
Because I didn't move faster
I let myself drown

Is it too late ? Will I die here ?
And yet again, I'm drowining in my own thoughts
This seems like an endless cycle..
I'm freezing, I'm dying, I can't move.

A butterfly flies by
It's small, its wings are fragile, but it's beautiful
What is it thinking ? Passing through the cold wind, with no purpose ?
Maybe it's all it can do now..
So I follow it
My feet start moving
Where is it going ?
It's hard but it's there
No snowflake is touching my nose
My clothes are getting wet
The butterfly is still flying
Where is it going ?
And I'm moving

I look up again
It's not grey anymore, it's shiny
Rays of sunshine are piercing through the clouds
My clothes are getting wetter, and I'm moving faster
I look down
The pile is almost no more , green is peeking through
I look ahead, my butterfly is gone
That means it found its destination
That means there is a flower field somewhere
But that butterfly didn't know it was there , it was just flying.

I didn't freeze, I didn't die ,because I started moving
I started moving towards my butterfly , towards my life
And so spring came, to remind me that winter, though harsh , heavy, feels endless , it's only temporary,and we can still move
I needed a reminder
That field, that wasn't my own life
It was "theirs"
I wasn't living my story, I was part of theirs
My struggles, my snowflakes , they were small, but they were many
They were bound to suffocate me
All I had to do was to move , find a way to leave that place
It may sound weak, a cowardice, holding onto the unknown, that flower field dream
But it was the only way out
My epiphany came late , but it came,and I didn't die
That's all that matters
I may not have found my flower field yet
But my spring has come

The ice melted , a life bloomed