Endless War

There are many types of wars.

But there's one that relates most to us all.

What is it?

The inner war.

Our inner war demanding change.

You could say that personally, I thought this was stupid.

But this is coming from someone who has always unconsciously suffered this war.

To say it's a war that never ends.

For some, it is. There are people whose lives can be changed. Change and become better versions of themselves.

That's something I don't envy; on the contrary, it makes me feel happy.

Since I'm still having this war, I know how it feels, so I don't wish this on anyone

My verses on this lonely and dark night

Are about my unhappiness.

I'm not going to say my whole life is pitch black, of course not, I have had my happy moments.

We all have dark moments, but also bright ones.

But there are times when we have more dark moments than bright ones.

Everyone's different.

But for me, my moments have been more dark than bright.

My childhood is something I remember little about.

It's tragic for me to think and base my childhood only on darkness rather than brightness.

But every time I think about it, I rarely manage to recall a memory of light.

Perhaps there's an explanation for why I don't remember my childhood. I don't know. Whether it's logical or illogical, but well, I've insisted on trying to forget as much of it as I can.

It must be that by trying this so many years, I've succeeded.

I don't know, I have no explanation.

Once again, returning to this war that is endless for myself and some.

Years have passed and I can't find an end.

Have I given up? I don't know. I guess I'm still here.

I've heard several people say:

You have to change.

Well, it's true I'm not going to fight with that logic.

Everything starts with oneself.

The desire for change.

I don't know why I don't want to change.

I don't know if I've changed either.

I don't notice anything different in myself.

Other people who know me can notice it.

But me? I don't notice a difference.

Is it something I consider bad not to notice if I've changed over the years? This must be a joke.

Of course I've changed.

My big question is:

Have I changed for the better? Or for the worse?