Screen Test Of Doom

It’s funny as long as it’s not happening to you!

Jayden Cross looked around the room, eyes narrowing at the single flickering light and and the man holding the clipboard like it was a weapon.


"Why am I here?" he asked folding his arms.

Director Moss nervously laughed, the kind of laugh when people are trying to hide a body...or the truth. "Well, we thought you knew--you're here for the screen test."


Jayden blinked. "Screen test? What's the point...I've already been cast for the part!"


Moss scratched his neck, looking around for an exit. Or divine intervention. "Actually...you haven't. We, uh, have a number of actors that have shown interest in the role, and we never guaranteed you would get the part."


Jayden's jaw dropped. "I bought a yacht, Moss!"


"That seems... premature," Moss said, smiling like a man about to be punched.


Jayden stepped forward. You had me practice three monologues with a live goat and a flamethrower!"


"Well yes, but you insisted on the goat."


"And I shaved my eyebrows to feel the pain of the character!"


Moss coughed. "Commitment is...
Commendable."


Suddenly the door burst open. Another actor strolled in--shirtless, muscles gleaming, and somehow glowing. "Hey am I late?" he boomed
.
Jayden stared. "Is that... Fabio 2.0?!"


Moss nodded. "He's got great range."


"He thought 'Hamlet' was a sandwich!" Jayden shouted.


Fabio 2.0 blinked. "It's not?"


Jayden sighed. "You know what? Let him have it. I'm off to reclaim my eyebrows and return a goat."


As Jayden stormed out, Moss turned to the camera crew. "Alright, from the top. And someone hide the flamethrower."


Fabio 2.0 raised a hand. "Do I eat the skull in this scene?"


Moss blinked. "Let's take five."